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1999-2001
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst M ship Applications

For the Week of March 3, 2002
edited by



Name: Cindy

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm a heartless bitch because I live in a tourist town. Here the men come and go like they're going out of style. The bitch in me shows her proud face in the bars mostly.

[Well, that's where you operate, isn't it?]

I am perpetually hit on by golfers who are here looking for a "good time".

[They ARE looking for a good time. They are tourists. What does that mean to you?]

Many of them like to take off their wedding bands forgetting that a day on the course tends to leave a tan mark on the hand. when asked about the tan line, the common reply is something along the lines of either, "I am going through a divorce", "My marriage is a bad one", or , "We are in different states so it doesn't matter".

[I've heard that one before.]

Like any thirsty woman, I willingly let the poor broken hearted golfer buy me a drink or two. When I am done with their company I simply tell them thank you and move on. Often times though, the golfer feels that because he spent maybe $10.00 on a few drinks, I am supposed to be his party girl. Let's face it gentlemen, this is 2002 and a drink is only a drink.

[So if you want in HER pants, better make it a double.]

So if I am a bitch for having an almost divorced, living with a bad marraige, lonely golfer buy me a drink, then moving on to someone who is not my father's age, so be it!

[What you are is the standard barfly. Heartless Bitches buy their own drinks when not interested in the person offering. It's just not worth the 7-10 bucks to listen to them go on and on-as a matter of fact, it's worth double that to get them to go away.]

One Liner:
I will have sex with someone if they are not smart but they are attractive,

[Gee, that combination must be awfully tough to find.]

I will buy my own drinks,

[Under protest.]

I will be your boss and expect that you give me your best 100 % effort, I don't care about your personal baggage, shut up and enjoy the moment.

[And pass him that putter.]



Name: Paula

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
My heart is designed for pumping blood as well as other life saving tasks.

[Such as?]

Therefore logic tells me I am not heartless! Heartfelt bitch would be better as I like the way the heart pumps faster when in a heartless bitch mode.

[That's because it would be a novelty to you.]

Obviously you can tell I have not the time nor the desire to think up some fantastic 'win you over' qualities (far too busy for that shite).

[Intelligence is time consuming, isn't it?]

One Liner:
Man alive I have seen better nipples on a pimpled buggered arse.

[I don't even want to concentrate on that imagery.]



Email : respectthepussy.com

[Alrighty, then.]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
My husband told me he was leaving me after 20 years of marriage. Weeping, he said, "Hold me". But I was more interested in watching the soccer on TV over his shoulder.

[Yet you held him. You didn't want to, and you didn't have the courage to say so.]

One Liner:
"O, from this time forth, my thoughts be bloody, or be nothing worth" Hamlet: Act IV Scene IV

["To keep, or not to keep-as if that were a real question here."]



Email : kiwis_gal

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
bitchy sexy kinky like bondage dominate and u will be whatever the fuck i want u to be

[This ain't a personal ad.]

One Liner:
i will fukkin knock anyone down who gets in my way

[God forbid you come between her and that grilled cheese sammich.]



Name: Greg

URL : YES. AND IF YOU ASK NICELY I MIGHT TELL YOU.

[Already starting in with the control games. You came here, not the other way around. Why would I ask you about your URL, nicely or otherwise?]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Well,one reason is is that here I am trying to do you a fucking favor,

[Like I feel honored by your presence.]

and you feel this NEED for me to justify myself. To that I say FUCK YOU.

[Choke much?]

I'm building a new site and I'm looking for creative and interesting links to add. I thought I'd like to add your pathetic little site,

[Which is it? You can't have it both ways.]

but if you refuse me membership I won't.

[Oh boo hoo hoo. Whatever will I do without your link?]

Why should I do anything that doesn't offer a return of one form or another?

[What, exactly, could you do for me? Thousands have already linked to us (with decidedly LESS drama), so what's one more or less? We didn't approach you and ask you to link to the site. You got that idea all by yourself. Now you seem to expect some gratitude and for what? What favor? Stop expecting something for nothing, but should you prove unable to shake this ridiculous behavior, learn to at least ask nicely.]

One Liner:
I frequently use stupid women and other soft furry animals for my enjoyment. I use stupid men for financial gain.

[You're all about using people.]



Name: Anondra

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I don't tolerate amorality, period.

[She knows when you've been sleeping (around). She knows if you've been chaste. So you better be good for goodness sake.]

I don't give a damn if we've been "bosom buddies" for twelve years, if you whine about getting pregnant after having unprotected sex with your brand-new boytoy, I am *going* to beat your head in.

[For the whining or the loose behavior?]

I also don't tolerate self-proclaimed bitches who rail people for their shortsightedness while doing the same damned things they're ranting about themselves. Yes, I understand that it doesn't make their points any less valid, but it makes them doubly stupid for spouting good advice and not taking it themselves.

I thoroughly enjoy giving criticism to amateur artists -- especially to those who think they're hot stuff (which, sadly, includes most of us amateurs).

[Oh, but you're not bitter or anything.]

If more artists would tone down their egos, they MIGHT have a chance at getting somewhere.

[Andy Warhol.]

Freedom of expression? That's fine and dandy. If you want nothing but high praise, keep your 'freedom of expression' on mommy's fridge and OFF an online gallery.

[It may bore you, but that's where it goes. Their site, their content.]

Unfortunately, with the current popularity of abstract artists (i.e., artists who can't draw anything that's recognizeable), that "freedom of expression" excuse-for-a-lack-of-skill is seen as valid. Snort. (Thus endeth the Rant of the Bitter Artist.)

[I'd add "bitterly eating her heart out" artist.]

I'll actively hunt down copyright infringers and have them removed from their servers.

[Who made you the police? You don't like amoral behavior, and now you're Junior Miss Crimestopper?]

Most people think that I'm doing a nice thing, but I've been called a bitch more times for exposing a ripoff than for anything else.

[Obviously you've missed your calling, busybody.]

I'm not exactly proud of being considered a bitch.

[Then go away.]

While I *do* like the fact that I can recognize when a person is trying to take me for a fool, I *don't* like the fact that the vast majority of people would rather live in a shroud of delusion than actually have the truth exposed.

[Two sentences, entirely unrelated, meet here in this paragraph on a collision course for wackiness.]

One Liner:
"I've got buns of steel."
"Don't forget your brain of pudding."

[Oh, that's funny. Who'd you steal it from?]



Email : chuca-jane

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am (quite inadvertently, of course) a professional homewrecker.

[Oh, of course. All that fucking you did was quite accidental.]

I got my late husband

[Probably a suicide.]

to divorce his wife of 18 years and marry me. After 13 years he became completely impotent (pre-viagra) so I had an affair that ultimately broke up my lover's marriage. I stayed married, and stayed friends with the lover, while I carried on a six-year affair with another married man. He dumped me unceremoniously 6 months after my husband died, but has since separated. We did NOT remain friends.

[People like you don't have friends, just marks.]

I vowed never to get involved with another married man. The first one I met while "single" I stubbornly resisted, although we became fast friends and are still "dating" 5 years later.

[You even break promises to yourself.]

He is now divorced. I fell hard for a single guy, who was determined to marry another woman who had dumped him. I did him anyway, but he eventually persuaded his dream woman to wed. A year later he was back in town saying it was all wrong, that he had never forgotten me, could we be "secret" friends? I slept with him again. Six months later, he was divorced. He now lives across the country and has a girlfriend, but will be visiting next month.

[Welcome to another episode of "The Elderly and Promiscuous."]

MEANTIME, I've had a lover for 5 years. Though I had known him casually, I did not realize he was still married until the morning after we first did it, when he announced, "my wife is gonna kill me!".

[When do you ask for a name, before or after you swallow?]

He was back the next weekend, and has been legally separated for several years. Unfortunately, he lives in another country, so I don't see him much.

[I get it. You "date" on the internet. I thought you were talking about reality.]

The husband or boyfriend of virtually every girlfriend I've ever had has made at least one pass at me (no matter if the girlfriend is younger, thinner, prettier, richer) Mostly, I turn them down. I have written a short story about this phenomenon called "Take a Number".

[What phenomenon? People can be flirtatious. While you were winking at him, the guy you were with was checking out that younger, prettier model. You just didn't see it.]

My best friend and I have formed two associations, WLLW (White Latinas Looking for Work)

[Stick to what you know. Turn to prostitution. You're a natural.]

and, more aptly for you bitches, Ladies with LEPS (Lethal Empty Pussy Syndrome)

[Hey, YOUR pussy might be a death trap, but MINE is not.]

for those surprisingly frequent times when we're not getting enough.

[What happened to that "Take a Number" phenomenon?]

Hope I pass your rigorous inspection. I've been a proud bitch since before you babies were born!

[Which just goes to show you that wisdom doesn't always come with AGE.]

One Liner:
Please tell me your "troubles" so I can laugh at you behiind your back.

[Too cowardly to speak your mind right to their faces?]



Name: Trixie

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
tired of people : talking,lying,abusing,ignorance,psyckDolls stealing time with nothingness in return! i have a bullet in my head..

[Apparently.]

whos got the gun?!

[Society. Now shut the fuck up.]

One Liner:
AnarchisticHoThEaD..RAGEisAbliss, apathy not!!..

[I don't want to know what you mean here.]



Name: natalie

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
it was either 'heartless bitch' or 'weak ass bitch' so I chose the fun one:)

[I'm choosing the accurate one for you.]

signed nataie

[Typoed your own name?]

....just another heartless bitch.

[…wanna-be.]

p.s. bitches,let us join hands

[Only to pray for your departed brain.]

One Liner:
stop making me fucking think,

[I know that you're not used to it, but that burning sensation and disorientation DOES go away.]

and just sign me up for christ sakes!!!!!

[Ah, but for what?]





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