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1999-2001
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst M ship Applications

For the Week of February 10, 2002
edited by





Name: Becky

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
First off I'm President of the Smoke Shack Bitch Club,

[Membership: 1]

I have a the highest victim count (people who will no longer come back to the shack to smoke because they pissed me off.. or i turned them down to harshly.)

[Or they can't bear to be in close quarters with you, even with the smell of smoke to block. X takes the square.]

I'm currently dating Two men who live 70 miles apart with me smach dab in the middle.

[Which one is getting you from behind, or do they just switch off?]

Lastly I'm a bitch because My name is BECKY!

[That's got to be the silliest reason I've heard.]

One Liner:
I started this week with 5 nice tolkens.. you took 4 yesterday.. so i have one left.. use it wisely.

[Don't you have a place that lets someone purchase more nice tokens? If YOU have the tokens, shouldn't YOU be spending them wisely?]

Excuse me does my shirt say easy whore?

[Your name IS Becky.]

NO so back off... unless you want my fist in your face i sugest you shut up!

[Maybe they are into that kinda thing?]



Name: Jasona

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i treat men like the dirty little socks that they are...step step step.

[Men are socks?]

One Liner:
Cheap. Selfish. Slut.

[Her best traits. Seriously.]



Name: Dawn

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i express an absolute hate for the lame mentally inadequate humans that call themselves "feminists" and bollock on about girl power

[Now entering the stupid zone.]

u r all blatant lezzers who want to shag at least one of the spice girls.Get a clue.There is an example of such a mantroll @ my school it parades round whinning about its sexual inadiquacies and uses the fact its blonde to make excuses for it being as thick as pig shit.

[Just imagine the stupid hanging on that girl for this one to call IT stupid.]

Everyday i remind it of how much of a loser it is and how much it bores the fuck out of people.i hate this thing with a passion its like the turd that just dusnt flush.I also express no care for,to coin a phrase emotional male fuckwits.To them i say get a clue.I hav verbal fights with a fat c*nt @ my school who thinks the country shud be run by ppl of his qualities rich snobbish twats hes over opinionated

[She should take her Ritalin before she starts typing, then give it time to kick in.]

and needs to be told by sumone i.e me of higher stronger opinions and feelings of hate how much of a piece of mutant shit he is and to give me one good reason y he is allowed to breathe the same air as me.

[So whydontcha?]

I have launched a hate campaign against the affore mentioned man troll and as i am charismatic

[Misspelled psychotic.]

many ppl hav joined as i hav brought to light how much of a whiny piece of shit it is.If it died now noone wud notice.hehehe.I just really dont give a fuck about many things i think most ppl shud be round up and shot and the rest castrated for crimes of emotional fuckwitage.

[Are you absolutely sure that you'd want that? You gotta be careful what you wish for.]

One Liner:
There is nothing wrong with being a bitter, twisted , heartless fucking bitch.For me its a way of life

[Don't confuse meanness with brilliance.]



Name: Looney

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am a heartless bitch because I like to date women who are lying through their teeth about themselves, me and what turns them on and then at the end of the evening either turn them down or sell them to the nearest sucker.

[Your dating goal is to become a cheap pimp?]

I am a heartless bitch because if I do have sex with them and they make noises like I'm really turning them on it starts me laughing like hell at them.

[I'd be cracking up, too. You, turn on a woman? Ha, ha.]

I am a heartless bitch because after my wife chose to abort my child I fucked her two best friends as my wife was a Scorpio and that would get the message across clearly.

[You needed astrology and adultery to get your point across? Dialog and divorce (if necessary) wouldn't do?]

Needless to say, I am a happy batchelor with a badass inner bitch. Does that qualify???

[You need to be a bit smarter. Tell your inner bitch to bone up.]

One Liner:
My inner bitch is holding my happiness hostage until she gets what she wants first, which I hope is a forum and comraderie here.

[No, no. We're all Scorpios in here.]

It's damn hard to figure out what she wants at all.

[Try asking her.]



Name: MizRoy

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm a heartless bitch because I ahte these bitches walking around campus thinking that they are the shit, and these niggas talking about them, but still all on they ass. I wanna slap one of these bitches, really. I am also very opinionated and that scares men to see a woman who talks more than they do and knows what the fuck she is talking about!!

One Liner:
I ain't trying to please none of yall, so fuck all y'all!

[See! What did I tell you about "all y'all."]



Name: Lindsay

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
First off I'm Vice president of the Smoke Shack BITCH club.

[You lost the coin toss?]

I speak my mind and give my honest opinion no matter what the effects are,

[Effexor...that's the drug you need to be on.]

most the time people are pissed off. Because my boyfriend always ends up saying YOUR RIGHT!

[He's just saying that to get some pussy.]

One Liner:
you want my number here 666...You can't afford to take me out.

[I'm sure he's got a dollar and change on him.]

..do i look intrested? NO... Oh you mistook that laugh as flirting sorry i was making fun of your face.

[Look, asking you to move is not the same as asking you OUT. ]



Name: Erika

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am a heartless Bitch because I can not stand stupidity,it bugs the hell out of me.

[Yet not enough to make you change.]

If I have to explain something to you in a way that I explain to a 5 yr old,then Im gonna let you know "you are just plain stupid",also people who cant spell simple words,all I have to say is"hooked on phonics obviously didnt work for you!!".

[It's too bad that they don't have a punctuation institute.]

I am an agressive woman,I go after what I want,if I want sex,I'll take it,but if I have to keep makin the first move then f*ck you,Im not wasting my time anymore. I am a very blunt person and pople take it as me being a bitch or Im

[Yes, this from the woman who thinks the world needs "Hooked on Phonics."]

man,"Oh f*ckin well". If you cant take being told the truth ,then kiss my ass. I do not tolerate idiots,because you will be told what to do,where to stick it and how to do it.

[Isn't that how you're supposed to treat idiots?]

One Liner:
Oh f*ckin well,Sit on a dildo and rotate.

[Just dial 1-800-ABCDEFG.]



Name: Valerie

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I am an independent,single mother of a 2- year old since I was 5 months pregnant...

[Who was the mother before then?]

I do not need to depend on a man to survive in this world, only myself.I worked any job to support my child even if I hated it(many of those).I worked while I was pregnant with stupid men.

[How many stupid men did you give birth to?]

.When men treat me like shit in the first 20 minutes,

[Anything later than that, well, that guy is just STUCK with you.]

I say goodbye..and look elsewhere..I will be a succesful writer somehow, someway,thru my intelligence..

[I wouldn't bet on that one.]

One Liner:
Never met a wiseman..if so i'ts a WOMAN..

[Sweet transvestite!]



Name: ANNETTE

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
MY BOYFRIEND WAS DOING MY BRAKES OUT IN MY GARAGE IN 20% WEATHER

[What's the other 80%?]

AND I SAT IN SIDE

[I hate it when I sit in side. It's so hard to get out.]

WHILE HE DID THEM ALL HE COULD COME IN IN S AY WAS THAT I WAS HEARTLESS BITCH BECAUSE HE WAS OUTSIDE I WAS INSIDE

[Why didn't you let him put your car in the house, then? Tell him to enclose the car port while he's out there.]

I DID NOT ASK HIM TO PUT THEM ON HE TOOK UPON HIS ON TO DO THE IN THE GARAGE AND NOT IN HIS WARM SHOP(HE WORK AT A CAR SHOP)

[First of all, you should be grateful that he's doing this work relatively free. Secondly, you should realize that you can't win an argument with a complete moron. I'll let you figure out which one of you that is.]

One Liner:
DON'T HATE

[Generally speaking, of course.]



Name: Ariel

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I hate men. I abhor them. Every woman must say this--but I really, HONESTLY, hate all men.

[Yet you date them. You figure you have no other choices.]

Their Pigs.

[You hate men AND their pigs? Oh, that's a lot of hate. Bacon tastes good. Pork chops taste goood.]

And Liars. I was engaged for 2 years to a man I worshipped. The day after our 18th month anniversary

[But 18 months is less than 2 years.]

he left me for my ex best friend. Now my Best Friend Adrienne and I sit around plotting the deaths of our ex-fiancÚs and planning to

[Learn math?]

hide their bodies under the patio, 6 feet below the hard cold surface of cemement. Of course, this plan will never actually go through,

[We knew that.]

but I would like to castrate every man with a harpy knife

[Do you mean HUNTING knife?]

(after, of course, I use them as sex-slaves in my male harem) and debowle

[Now they can't eat cereal or soup.]

them. Who needs men anyway? Not me, I'm a heartless bitch.

[Just a garden variety idiot.]

One Liner:
I'm like liquor-- I'll give you a great time, but eventually I'll eat away at your liver and kill you :-D

[But before that, she'll make your head hurt.]



Name: mildred

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i just can't stand the fact that there are so many fucking ugly guys. life's too short to date ugly guys!!!!!!!!!gimme som' hotties!!!!!!!!

[Check the prisons.]

One Liner:
i'm busy you're ugly have a nice day

[What's the point?]



Name: Beanie

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I put down my friends all the time

[You mean you say, "Ya got bad taste in friends!"]

I yell out: dyke! to random women on the street

[That was you I saw being beat down on Main?]

I'm brutally honest with even complete strangers (ie: yeah that makes you look bad)

[Just share your bad mood with everybody.]

And finally I'm a heartless bitch because I curse like a sailor and people are yelling at me all the time what a fucking bitch I am.

[Yelling "dyke" at various women doesn't make a true label. Being called a bitch doesn't make you a HEARTLESS bitch, either.]

One Liner:
Anyone looks cute next to you.

[Are you talking to the Toxic Avenger?]



Name: Walter

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
The weakness of the American male demonstrated in the

[fact that so many still live with mamma? The fact that so many of you whine how "nice" you are, as if it meant "weak and spineless"?]

subversion of the natural role by female seduction will lead to catastrophic social consequences to include the rebellion of the vast majority of females who will realize they really don't want to be men.

[You think that awareness will be catastrophic? Didn't I see you on the corner wearing a "The End is Near" sandwich board? I put change in your cup, now go away.]

One Liner:
Feminist hypocrisy has no limits

[Really? Doesn't compare to your stupidity.]



Name: Tami

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Because, I said So!!
Get IT? Good.

[Oh yeah, that one works.]

One Liner:
If U Dont Like ME< Then, Tuff Shit**

[Are these my only choices?]



Name: Michelle

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Men are pigs! And I recognize that!

[Before or after you made bacon?]

One Liner:
I would like to just take this time to say: "[Dude] if I find you I will kill you, you ain't all that"

[If he's not all that, why bother with hunting him down and killing him?]



Name: Elizabeth

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I left a crippled on a frozen pond without his crutches because i was too lazzy to help him.

[He can do bad by himself. He doesn't need your help to starve to death.]

I lead guys on and then walk away.

[You date guys on crutches on frozen ponds?]

In the middle of a date I asked a guy what his name was.

[Most of us like to get that crucial information BEFORE it happens. It's easier to press charges/search for warrants that way.]

I walk up to people and slap them for no reasons (like total strangers on the streets).

[They just assume that an institute is missing someone.]

To stop a bitch from getting my guy I poured chocolate sauce all over her.

[This is like throwing gasoline on fire to put it out.]

In CPR class when I had to practice mouth to mouth I walked away yelling that I would never do mouth to mouth with an ugly guy.

[Stick to the plastic Resusci-Andy dolls.]

I walked up to a girl flirting witht the waiter and said "Just please, don't flirt with the waiter...he doesn't seem to enjoy the company of ditzes"

[He burned you before, so you speak from experience.]

I'm a player.

[We're playing "Life," and you're still in "CandyLand."]

I've played at least 20 guys in my life.

[The jack of hearts is just a card, not cad.]

On the first date i tell the guy I'm with that i'm a player.

[Fair enough, he's usually a dealer.]

One Liner:
Chinese Food Tastes Good

[The sign blinking outside her window.]



Name: Todd

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I was born with out blood and I need to get a transfusion every day.

[Do us all a favor and sleep in.]

One Liner:
The weather. I hate it, don't you?

[What's the alternative?]



Name: Evert

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Damned fucking old man.No way.

[Then don't fuck him.]

One Liner:
Full control

[You should go get some.]







Copyright© Heartless Bitches International (heartless-bitches.com) 1999
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