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1999-2001
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst M ship Applications

For the Week of January 27, 2002
edited by





Name: no good

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
give me one good reason why I should!!!!

[You shouldn't. Now go away.]

I`m a bitch and proud of it!! ok... a little bit then... I like playing with other peoples mind... (in mens case) seducing them to a certain limit, then dumping them.. (with women) the same.. and then more! I can be sooo mean to a girl and she doesn`t even notice it `cause I`m very suttle...

[What, exactly, is the point of unnoticed meanness?]

One Liner:
luxuary!!!

[Delusion sometimes is.]



Name: pacergal

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I wanna be. I won't tell in detail, it's best kept secret.

[Never tell. I don't want to know.]

One Liner:
I use men

[*Yawn*, like tissue, I suppose? We know, we know.]



Name: the Animaniac

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I didn't get to be platoon sergeant in my JROTC class for nothing. I have a bad attitude, bad temper, and low tolerance for bullshit.

[Shit floats, too.]

If someone screws with me they get it back hard. So what if I'm a bitch? It's better than being some little princess prick like those damn suck-ups on our Drill Team. The way I'm writing?

[Poorly?]

I think that's certifiably a bitch.

[Certifiable at any rate.]

Oh, and I'm only 16. Corrupted at a young age? You decide...;P

[It's typical, really.]

One Liner:
"Oh, crap...it's Sergeant Pokemon...run away..."

[She has the "talk" attack. She'll put you in a deadly doze.]



Email : leggomahfaygo

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
The first time I found out a guy cheated on me I cut off his dick and fed it to him....

[Leggo mah dick-o!]

One Liner:
Don't mess with me, I'm loaded.

[To the gills.]



Name: Jules

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Im so sick of these little sluts going around acting like they are hot shit listening to there Backstreet boys and Britney spears and acting like fucking princess' , they are really starting to piss me off!!

[What do they have to do with you?]

This one girl inperticular stole my boyfriend and then when she was done with him she stole my best friends boyfriend. So now when the little "princess" walks down the hall we throw pennys at her because she is such a fucking penny whore...

[Yet your boyfriends left both of you for her. Jealousy is swallowing you whole.]

One Liner:
i don't take shit from anyone and im not ready to start. To get revenge on these little bitches is the best feeling in the world

[You haven't tried getting over it yet.]



Email : dragonscabin

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I take no shit from anyone, either at work or in the clubs,

[What about the bathrooms? They're the hardest places to avoid it.]

I dress how I like and if some shithead wants to chat me up, I shoot em down...unless of course they are increadable hot...

[And no shit stinks worse than HOT shit.]

One Liner:
and your fucking point would be what exactly??

[The one on your head.]



Email : rubberluvzdeglitter

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I think women who have no education and rely on men are pathetic idiots.

[Okay.]

My ex boyfriends sister stayed home and did nothing no college i told him she has no skills and is a complete idiot. She said things behind my back

[And you didn't?]

and I wrote her an email saying "how doe sit feel to be an ugly whore that has herpes cunt"?

[Hmm, I wouldn't say that women with education and no reliance on men escape being pathetic idiots entirely.]

I hope all my enemies die a horrible death, if i could get away with it I would kill of them. My exboyfriend screwed me over and cheated on me.

[Wah.]

I fucke dhis recording engineer, cut all the wires in his house for his stereo, computer etc then dumped him. I took down his website since i am the webmaster

[I am the gate keeper.]

and put up a picture of him on his knees giving a blow job which i made on the computer,

[How weak.]

i also filed a complaint against him to small claims court to get all my stuff back i left at his house.

[Why didn't you pick it up when you were vandalizing the place?]

I then got a hold of she-male escort service numbers from my

[business card?]

local paper

[Riiiight.]

and page dhim with the numbers hoping he hooks up with a she-male i hope he did.

[Didn't he? How would this be a new experience for him?]

He now thinks i am his friend i act sweet when i talk to him from time to time.

[You can't get enough of him.]

My goal is to make his life misreable forever and ruin every relationship he has.

[Get over him.]

if he died today i would be so happy and throw a party.

[Because you are smothering in the indifference he feels for you.]

Speaking of dying my ex-boyfriend another one. had a heat attack and died,

[Stop smoking crack in the fireplace, Heat Miser.]

from doing too much coke, i laughed when i hear dthe news what a moron. Thank God I wasnt around for his downfall, loser.

[I'm surprised that you didn't try to claim this one as one of your "victories."]

When i am at aclub and a dork or ugly guy trie dto talk to me i tell them to get away, i dont speak to ugly dorky men they can go fuck themselves.

[They don't need you fucking them up, that's a certainty.]

One Liner:
Fuck with me I fuck with you

[Because you can't get over it.]



Email : EVIL of a thousand

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I TELL YOU HOW IT IS NO MATTER WHAT.

[Even if you don't know.]

I LIKE DUDES EXCEPT WHEN THERE PRICKS AND I TELL THEM EVERY LITTLE THING THAT IS DIFFERENT OR WRONG ABOUT THEM

[There is no embarrassment like having a future date AND your dick rank on you.]

AND I KNOW IM NOT PERFECT BUT HEY I TRY TO BE SO IF THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME THEN HEY.

[Maybe they try, too? Being a Heartless Bitch isn't a license to be needlessly rude.]

I GET IN TO TONS A FIGHTS BECAUSE OF STUPID THINGS

[...you say?]

AND I HEAR AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK THAT I AM A HEARTLESS BITCH BUT I AM ESPECIALLY IF YOU AREN'T GIVING ME WHAT I WANT I WILL FIND IT ELSE WHERE.

[That's a spoiled brat for you. If you want something, get it yourself. Don't take it out on others or cry about it like a wet baby.]

I AM NEVER WITH JUST ONE DUDE. I HAVE MAINLY DUDES FOR FRIENDS BECAUSE GIRLS ACT TO FAKE.

[Case in point.]

AND THERE JUST JEALOUS AND I WOULD TELL IT TO THERE FACES AND PEOPLE DON'T LIKE ME B/C I TELL IT LIKE IT IS AND THATS JUST HOW I AM. ALSO I WILL LIE, AND MY FRIEND JUST TO GET WHAT I WANT.

[Being manipulative only means that you can't function properly in society.]

One Liner:
I HURT TO GET WHAT I WANT

[That explains the crying that you do.]



Name: Her Royal Darkness Jezzebell de Beelzebub

[AKA: Dumbass]

URL : www.xxx.com get it? ha ha ha

[Ha, ha, ha. Did you see that the link is live?]

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
RAAAAAAARRRR!!!!!!

[Undoubtedly the best reason so far.]

Sorry about that, sometimes my inner demons get the best of me...and that's quite frequently! Hope I didn't scare you...

[Hardly, but you did signal that you suck. I may as well not even bother with the rest of this silly application.]

Greetings. May His Most Supreme Excellenct Satan the Prince of Darkness be with thee in the name of the jeweled pentagram. May I introduce myself

[Since you ask-NO!]

as Her Dark Excellency Jezzebel de Beelzebub. I wouldst like to thank thee for inviting me to thy lair. It is most impressive- I've travelled all the way from HELL to view it.

[It's worth the trip.]

Earth hast been posessed by an evil entity, in the form of Christianity. Tis my dark and utmost duty to overthrow that realm of Christ and instill the true King, Lucifer King of all Evil in its stead.

[Oh yeah, you're on the wrong site.]

Thy bitches claim that thy hasn't any hearts,

[Your grammar sucks in both forms.]

but yea I say to thee thoust dost have hearts. Thy dost have hearts capable of great evil in the name of Satan Prince of Darkness.....submitting to HIM has practical purposes too, not to mention

[I have to wonder why dark minions are so goofy.]

that thee shall gest to live all eternity with HIM.

[If you can't fake the medieval, changeth the verb.]

Ever been in a terrible relationship and discovered that thy lover hast been cheating on thee? By submitting to the ROYAL DARK WAY thy will have a chance to place spells upon them.

[Oh, brother. It is a spell of goofy proportion. Casteth this spell upon that loathsome creature who hath offendeth thee, and LO! He will be convincéd that he serveth the Dark Lord. He will speaketh in mock archaic and he will doeth silly acts in public.]

Really, it is quite amusing to see my ex's head turn a-la Exorcist- except when I place the spell upon him there is no priest to save him! By submitting to the ROYAL DARK WAY,

[And making THREE easy payments of $49.95.]

the DARK ONE shall make love to thee each night causing thy blood to bleed black bloodiness.

[I just want to bleed red...bloodiness. *rolling eyes.*]

It truly is an exhilirating experience as it fills me with EVIL BLISS. I have a heart capable of great bitchiness due to the power of the DARK ONE. Whenever I tramp down the street with my clove ciggies (may I offer you one)

[Hell no, ya freak.]

and I see a child with a nice shiny red baloon, I pop it. It gives me a near orgasm to see them cry- I only wish they would cry because they bleed to death. Ha ha ha.

[Ever pick on someone your own size, minion of goofiness?]

My sister unfortunately is an EVIL CHRISTIAN and three months ago she was married.

[Now we get to it.]

She had my father buy her this horrid Vera Wang dress. Before the wedding, I snuck into her room and poured indelible ink all over the dress, so it was a BLACK WEDDING DRESS! I found it quite lovely, but she did not. The whore had the entire wedding called off, but I managed to show to the world that SATAN LIVES!

[I would have sent you to serve YOUR lord up close.]

I view thy bitches as allies in my SUPREME MISSION TO HAVE THE ENTIRE WORLD SUBMITT TO THE DARKNESS OF EVIL.

[I should have known that stupidity was dark, too.]

Many of thee have SATAN'S LOVELY POWER within thee but do not yet realize it. IF THOU MAKEST ME A HEARTLESS BITCH, I SHALL BE CLOSER TO ACHIEVING MY ETERNAL REWARD AND PLEASING HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS SATAN PRINCE OF DARKNESS.

[Go be Evil someplace else.]

- H.R.

[Puff n' Stuff?]

D Jezzebel de Beelzebub

[the Stupid.]

PS- When I become a heartless bitch, Satan wants to know if you can make him an official heartless bitch too so he can overthrow the owner

[Why does he need YOU to overthrow us?]

of this site and be the DARK LORD OF THE INTERNET!

[You think we rule the internet? Thanks.]

One Liner:
Ahhh, to make love with a pitchfork and horns...it truly is an EXHILIRATINGLY DARK EXPERIENCE! 666!

[Keep fucking up your sister's wedding and you'll soon see.]







Copyright© Heartless Bitches International (heartless-bitches.com) 1999
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