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1999-2001
Weak of the Week
The best of the worst M ship Applications

For the Week of December 9, 2001
edited by





Email : pablum@neverenuff.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
i do what i want when i want with who i want and everyone else can kiss my ass and if they still bitch i will chew them up like a bulldog on a bone

[Out of control and dumb as a rock.]

One Liner:
dr. bitch

[Must have attended one of those whore-respon-DENSE schools.]



Email : patsucks@eatmydirt.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Guys suck. Whiny losers suck. Pathetic people suck. spoiled llittle rich girls suck. And most of all, you suck.

One Liner:
People suck

[As if I don't get plenty of THESE applications.]



Email : meconium@ok.freei.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I was married to one, so I became inducted

[Oh, I only wish intelligence could be imparted like venereal disease.]

One Liner:
pissy people

[...pick Peter Pan peanut butter? No, that's not right.]



Email : sweetiebear@bellsouth.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I AM OFTEN CALLED "COLD" BY MY FAMILY- "SCARY" BY MY FRIENDS AND "BITCH" BY MY DATES. I'VE BENN ACCUSED TO HAVE RUINED MEN'S LIVES

[You know how some people stutter when they lie...?]

BECAUSE I WAIT 'TILL THEY FALL IN LOVE WITH ME AND THEN LEAVE THEM OR USE THEM ON THE SIDE.

[On the side? On the side of what?]

THERE ARE AT LEAST 3 MEN OUT THERE THAT ENDED UP MARRYING SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO GET BACK AT ME BUT GOT STUCK.

[Yeah, that's EXACTLY what happened.]

(THEY STILL CALL ME THOUGH-MARRIED AND ALL---SO DO THEIR WIVES)

[Switch hitter?]

I AM CONSIDERD SUCH A THREAT THAT I HAVE A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST 2 OF THE WIVES

[If YOU were the threat, they'd have them against you.]

BECAUSE THEY WANT TO HURT ME. (BY THE WAY, ONE THEM HAS A KID THAT LOVES ME-I THOUGHT

[Wishful thinking.]

HIM TO CALL HIS MOM BY MY NAME! ANYWAY, I THINK I SHOULD BE AN OFFICIAL "HEARTLESS BITCH" FOR MANY OTHER REASON BUT IF YOU DECIDE I SHOULDN'T, WELL WATEVER THE HELL...

[That describes this application perfectly: "Whatever the hell."

One Liner:
I PREFFER MEN WITH RINGS ON THEIR FINGERS & RESTRAINING ORDERS ON THE WIVES.

[That's just what you've settled for. Be smart enough to know the difference.]



Email : dummi@tccaction.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I have been walked on, ran on, shit on, cheated on, and I have had it!

[Better late than never, eh?]

Not only by men, but even more so by women. Atleast I can have sex with the men and chalk it up to just that!

[No one is stopping you from having sex with women.]

(Not that I wouldn't love a good woman sometime too!)

[Well, go on out there and get you one.]

I was married for 10 long shitty, abusive years. Then 2 long shitty years with a boyfriend. (both were liars & cheaters) Get this, both slept with my best friend!

[Three people, all losers, and all hand-picked by you. Do the math.]

She's a prime candidate for a heartless bitch!

[So you admire her? I can only imagine this is the case since you are applying here.]

Only thing is, she is spineless too, and to be a true Bitch, you must have a spine. Now, I date men.

[Naw. You don't say.]

I have 2-3 men that I date, and my philosophy is, if you don't like it, get the f**k out! Get this, one made the mistake to cling on to me! I ditched him for the other the same night! Don't get me wrong, I'd love to find one man to love, who would love me, but for now, I'm having a BLAST!!!!

[And you go forth into the world to hurt others as you were hurt yourself. Character--it's not just for role-playing games anymore.]

One Liner:
If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times, "Go ahead and call me a Bitch, I'm proud of it, I have practiced & preached for 32 years to be a

[...doormat. You're only 32 years old, dolt. You were no child prodigy.]

bitch, please feel free to honor me at any time!"

[You won't like my brand of accolades, I assure you.]



Email : J3W3L33@buttswell.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I hate all my coworkers. I'm a bitch to a the

[Freudian slip. Watch as she struggles to remain objective and neutral, yet fails.]

thin pretty women at work and wish they would just die. My boyfriend workd tere too, I can't stand him looking at her!

[One person. She didn't fool me with this pretense. This is her personal vendetta.]

I flip people off all the time, I scratch up that bitch's car.

[All because her boyfriend lacks what she considers proper self-control.]

I never smile at anyone, everyone at work hates me because I am a BIG FAT

[Idiot. The word you are looking for is idiot. I'm not surprised that it eluded you, that's why it fits.]

BITCH!

One Liner:
I'm Bitchoffat not Arrafat, our mission

[To mars?]

similar

[Arafat wanted to scratch up this one girl's car?]



Email : DEBOREAH@AOL.COM

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I'm almost ready to give up on you,

[Please give up.]

my kindred spirits.

[If we are related, then my family tree didn't fork in some branches.]

Where are all of you bitches

[Ignoring you.]

and WHY haven't you updated your website since November 18?

[Just to annoy you.]

It is now 12/8/01 and I HAVE BEEN LOOKING EVERY DAY for a response to my previous application.

[Go elsewhere for attention.]

So, what happened? CAT GOT YOUR TONGUE? TONGUEING YOUR CAT??

[Precisely why you are often disliked and with good reason.]

One Liner:
I SNAP AT WILL.

[You snapped, that's for sure.]



Email : redundant@adelphia.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
rule #1-don,t take no shit!
rule #2-don,t take no shit!
rule #3-don,t take no shit!

[Did you think that there was a simpler way to revise this?]

One Liner:
My heart bleeds for NOBODY!

[You're not even supposed to have one.]







Copyright© Heartless Bitches International (heartless-bitches.com) 1999
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