From the Pukefest mailbag:

Hillary sucks

Thanks for dropping by.

Email : on a bender@cfl.rr.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I would never forgive any asshole if he was trying to hit on another woman infront of me.

Behind your back is another story.

I always give reasons "why?" if I love someone

"Because he's too fine" is not a real reason.

I would never bare with men's mistakes and wiknesses as far as they wouldn't bare with mine

Yeah, but look at YOUR mistakes. Maybe you should start dating slackers. I don't think that they are inclined to care much about anything.

One Liner:
Never try to make me pissed off!!! There will be one day you will be terribly sorry for it!

I don't work well with vague threats. How would I be sorry? In what way, exactly, would you exact vengeance? It could be that I would be willing to take that chance.

Email : deadwoodtree@viper.net.au

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I will not allow people to speak over the top of me, it's fine to disagree with my opinion (hey I can't be right all the time) but for ghod's sake wait until I have finished - how can someone argue with a half spoked statement

You're right. It's just so much more enjoyable to wait and see what idiocy pops out of your mouth instead.

- often I find that it's not what I have to say but the fact that I am say it

You honestly expect people to just sit back and listen to whatever the hell runs out of your mouth? There is no worth in babbling incoherently. It IS what you say.

and dare to ask people to wait until I have finished speaking. "oh my ghod what a rude womyn - with an opinion"

ANYONE can have an opinion. It's only a novelty to you.

One Liner:
If I can't dance it's not my revolution - Emma Goldman

If you can't BE smart, then quote someone who IS. If you're lucky, no one will be able to tell that you're a parrot.

Email : hehehe@yep, it's soft.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe I wish i knew

Some people LIVE "ignorance is bliss."

One Liner:
well if you cant see my dick than its too itty bitty or its just the fact that im a girl i dont know you make the call mate. hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe i like cinnamon buns

They are your intellectual peers.

Name: Sasha, Destroyer of Men

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
I hate love songs and anything pertaining to love.

This is *so* last year.

I'm weary of having to lob a guy's head off with a butcher knife so his dumb ass can finally take a hint.

Please. You've never lopped off a head.

My significant other does all the cleaning, gives up the remote, and does everything I tell him to do or else.

Or else you'll sit down and talk to him…and make him LISTEN. No. No. Not that!

I am a heartless bitch because I am the destroyer of men. I'll be damned if I'll be ruled. It's the Amazon in me.

No, this is the idiot in you. Let me speak to the Amazon. Channel her for a while.

One Liner:
I am Me...You are Inferior.

You know who has to point this out to you? Losers, that's who.

Email : purty stupid@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
oh god - do i have to explain this to you?

First you'd have to be able to form it into a coherent thought. Call back when you've got yourself sorted out.

I exasperate easily, can't stand stupidity, little patience for men(or women) who think me weak or helpless or in need of just one good fucking.

If only that WOULD help you.

Arrogance - did I mention I detest that? I've bored myself enough with this.

Now you've bored everyone else, too.

One Liner:
you wanna run somebody's life try getting your own if i'd wanted to live with a child I'd have had one.

You mean live with ANOTHER child, don't you?

Email : Noin_Tenou@goddammit.net

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
Phrases such as "I love you" and "You're the most beautiful girl I have ever met" makes me want to shove my finger down my throat, cough up my entire stomach, and backhand the speaker.

You've got those out of order. Punish the stupid first, blow chunks after.

I CAN NOT stand goody-goody preppie makeup-caked preps. People annoy me.

So I see.

I put something that someone wants just out of their reach and say "So close and yet so far."

Unless you've put it on Mars or something, I doubt that it's really out of reach. You're not just annoyed, you're annoying.

Every time I listen to mushy songs and boy fag bands I feel like shooting someone. I don't share.

And she gives an example as if we didn't know how selfish people operated.

-"Um, Greedy?"
-"What."
-"Can I have a dollar?"
-"Fuck you, fag, get your own job."

As if you aren't a regular at the First National Bank of Mummy and Daddy.

-"But you have $20 in your hand right now and I'm really thirsty."
-"So? Do you want me to repeat myself only adding VIOLENCE?"
-"No."
-"Then there's your answer, fuck up."

Situations like that have a nasty way of biting you in the ass at a later date.

If someone's crying I LAUGH IN THEIR FACE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

You're the terror of the schoolyard.

-"Hey, come here. Closer. Closer. Closer."
(Person's 2in. away from my face)
-SMACK! "Ha ha."

            fuck off

You should.

(By the way, if you consider putting my heartlessness on your site, you may Use My name and stuff. *I'm 14*)

Socially, you're 9.

One Liner:
"Suck my ass, cockboy!"
"Look into my eyes...listen carefully...DO I LOOK LIKE I GIVE A FUCK?!?"

You act as if there is something even remotely subtle about your behavior.

Email : LunaticBlessings@aol.com

Reasons for being a Heartless Bitch:
When pestered, my response is usually " men have two uses, changing lightbulbs and killing cockroaches. I can always buy A can of Raid and a stepladder."

But could you squeegee your lazy ass off the couch to hunt them down?

One Liner:
COCK-roaches......hmmm need I say more?

That's got to be the most contrived and ridiculous twisting of a word I've seen in a long time.