The latest comments from and about Nice Guys...
Date: Wed, 2 May 2007 16:37:17 -0700
From: "Travis Matlock" <badoompaloompa@gmail.com>
Subject: COMMENTS: On "Why nice guys suck"
I think that much of what you say concerning nice guys of the
emotionally disturbed type is dead on. However, most women, especially
the insecure emotionally disturbed ones I shouldn't give the
time of day, DO feel an attraction to your average alpha male
"jerk". More self-respecting and mature women ignore
it or if they are wise enough no longer are even susceptible to such
games.
However, I have many flaws. They are mine and nobody but me is
responsible for them, I work to overcome them. Some I think I have moved
past. Others still haunt me.
As my flawed self moves thrue the world alone looking for someone to
connect with, I see them all around me. The assholes, the guys who hunt
women and play the game well, with not a moments remorse or compassion
for the women they use. I see them and I see that, although like all of
us, they are flawed, at least they aren't alone.
Maybe someday I will overcome my flaws and my issues and find a woman to share lives with.
In the mean time I'll go on condemning the jerks and the insane women who flock to them.
I'll try not to cling too much, I know I tend to.
I'm a nice guy, much as you describe us, in all our messed up schizophrenic glory.
At least I'm not an asshole, just alone.
When your dishing out your welcome brand "medicine" for us maladjusted
nice guys, don't forget its still often true. In a country dominated by
people with issues, there's more disturbed women who love psycho
assholes than you can shake a stick at.
Thank you for taking the time to read my rants.
Terminally single in Seattle.
Date: Sun, 6 May 2007 14:36 -0400
Subject: Male Flame form : Tim
From: the_happy_headbanger@hotmail.co.uk
Flamemail feedback form:
Name: Tim
COMMENTS: Hey Heartless Bitches,
I think that a lot of the things you've got on this site do sort of make
sense in a way. However I think you're a bit too harsh at times. The
main thing that bothers me is that in some of your articles -
particularly a certain cartoon - you seem to assume that a "nice guy"
who doesn't get far with a girl is merely using a dating strategy whilst
really being an arsehole underneath, and I think this is overly cynical.
Some guys just get nervous around girls and don't portray themselves in
the best possible light even though, underneath it all, they are decent
people. Sure, there are predators out there, but to follow the logic of
your cartoon is to be like more than one of my ex-girlfriends and just
not give any guy a real chance
I think this is actually a big misunderstanding - people have different
definitions of "nice". Your site, for example, seems to define a nice
guy as someone who is agreeable and inoffensive, whereas I and many
others would describe him as someone with integrity who has good morals
and really sticks to them
But of course this is real life. You're not attracted to someone just
because you think they're morally good. But at the same time it does
feel like a kick in the teeth when you have to hear incessant whinging
from your female friends about their arsehole boyfriends when you're
still single despite their praise of you. It just doesn't seem to add
up. And if we weren't really nice guys, they wouldn't even want to be
friends with us. Plus there are a hell of a lot of girls that I know
that I don't necessarily fancy but who insist on staying with guys that
treat them like crap
I think the truth is that attraction is separate from morality and it
cuts both ways. I'm not attracted to women who I don't feel at least
some physical attraction to even if they are nice, and likewise some
guys just aren't good at getting their good points across to girls. Just
don't assume that the unsuccessful "nice guys" of which you speak are
really just "jerks in disguise
From: "Geert Oosterhof" <geertoosterhof@hotmail.com>
Subject: About nice guys
Date: Mon, 14 May 2007 02:07:21 +0000
Why i don't like "nice" girls
This thing swings both ways you heartless bitches.
When I was a little kid, I was real popular with the girls. I was four
or five years old and had quite a character, i was pretty tough compared
with other kids from my class. Girls used to chase me around wanting to
kiss me and hug me, i hated that.
I can imagine why a girl does't want a "nice "guy. Where's the fun in
that. I'm very nice myself but i don't give everything immediately when
i meet someone. Who needs a person telling every little aspect of there
mind at a first meeting, and wants to know all your little flaws and
habits.
The mind of a nice guy that the main rant is about is really dualistic.
What is the nice guy? He is a guy who wants to own a woman, but also
want her to be free. He wants to take care, but she has to be dependant
of him. He want something beautiful, but keep it only for himself. He
wants to be part of your mindspace, so he can punish you or please you
when it suits him best.
Who would want a person becoming a parasite, feeding from your every
action, positive or negative. Why not have fun together, accepting
eachother, not blowing up every little detail of both personalities.
Nice guys need to chill out, and realize their obsession. Like Mithranda
said in her part, there's a difference between nice people, and obsessed
people. Who doesn't like nice people right?
I've been called asshole sometimes, but i'm a nice guy when i choose to
be. I choose to be nice to people who i love. It's a matter of choise.
Greetings from Holland,
I like your website
From: Janarthanan Krishnasamy <fuzzy_galaxy@hotmail.com>
Subject: kudos
Date: Thu, 24 May 2007 20:42:43 +0800
Dear madams
This web-ste is brutally awesome!! I am a "nice guy" teen myself and
yeah its pretty hard being one. Not that I intentionallly chose to be
one, its a kind of crutch, a part of who I am, so its really difficult
to change. The comments on the site are strikingly accurate, reflecting
very well on the thought processes of these "nice guys" and why they
aren't really nice. As a "nice guy" myself ( I'm really trying to change
this stupid habit in ) I really support your website and hope that this
gets to as many guys ( and as many mothers) as possible. I think true
niceness comes from having real strength and power and not lack thereof.
You are not nice just because you can't be mean. To humble is not big if
you have little to be proud of.
A little sad though, that now males have to learn about being a man from
women. But hey, thats better than not learning at all.
Wish me luck :)
From: Thanh Tran <thanhtran5@gmail.com>
Subject: COMMENTS - Thanks HB
Date: Sat, 26 May 2007 13:39:11 -0700
Dear Heartless Bitches,
I just want to say thank you for making this website. I don't define
myself as a nice guy, but when I read your article on Nice Guys
Bleah! I realized why I am such a loser. I started to understand why
I attracted certain types of women (users) and why I can't get the
decent women. From this article I gained some understanding on the
mentality of losers, user and what a bitch really is. There's
nothing like stepping out of the dark and hear straight forward and
honest opinions, rather than passive aggressive lies or guilt trip
statement
Keep up the good work, in a lot of ways your site helps people
seeking answers to see the perspective of frustrated women and
clueless men
Love to all HB staff and founders
Regards,
Thanh Tran
Newark, CA
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