The "Nice Guys" archive

Comments - round 36
Comments - round 35
Comments - round 34
Comments - round 33
Comments - round 32
Comments - round 31
Comments - round 30
Comments - round 29
Comments - round 28
Comments - round 27
Comments - round 26
Comments - round 25
Comments - round 24
Comments - round 23
Comments - round 22
Comments - round 21
Comments - round 20
Comments - round 19
Comments - round 18
Comments - round 17
Comments - round 16
Comments - round 15
Comments - round 14
Comments - round 13
Comments - round 12
Comments - round 11
Comments - round 10
Comments - round 9
Comments - round 8
Comments - round 7
Comments - round 6
Comments - round 5
Comments - round 4
Comments - round 3
Comments - round 2
Comments - round 1.5
Comments - round 1
Nice Guys = BLEAH!
Nice Guys we can do without

The latest comments from and about Nice Guys...

Date: Mon, 8 Aug 2005 14:11 -0400
Subject: Male Flame form : Neanderthal Man
From: noodle21@hotmail.com

COMMENTS: I read your article on "10 Reasons women (who aren't heartless bitches!) date jerks instead of nice guys

I found it interesting, humorous, disturbing, and somewhat true. I showed it to my mom and asked for an honest opinion (she laughed at #10). "It's all sarcasm, it's not serious," she said. "Don't bullshit me mom." "I'm not, this is humor." "But they've got 20 pages devoted to this topic." Well it is humor, and a wee bit exaggerated, but I thought there was some real points in there. She said "Rubbish; people have too much time on their hands." I started discussing some of the points I thought beared an erie resemblance to my experience with women. She chalked the articles and behaviors up as immaturity and disrespect, which have nothing to do with love. I agree with that on a moral level. However, she is a 55 year old woman and a lifelong devout Catholic, i.e. she actually has morals and she was raised before feminism took it's grip on the U.S.. What I have learned from your website is that guys should have fun being assholes so women can have guilt-free fun being a heartless bitch.

[You see, no matter how many times we hit them over the head with the clue-by-four, some people are just INCAPABLE of reading for content, or learning. They hear (or read) only that which confirms their warped agendas.]

I currently do not embrace my inner asshole, in fact I wrestle with it a lot; to me that's a sign of inner strength, but people don't SEE that. In comparison, the jerk projects strength and independence, an gives the impression of being an alpha male.

[The jerk projects the APPEARANCE of self-confidence. Everyone, male or female, who is healthy, wants a partner with a spine. However, only DAMAGED women go after jerks. Truthfully. It isn't ALL women. Only the ones YOU are attracted to.]

Perhaps women would rather date a strong asshole instead of feeling guilty for ripping into a man to reveal his inner strength (or lack thereof.)

[Who in their right mind wants a fucking make-work project? It's not OUR JOB to find your "inner strength". Find it yourself weiner.]

So what if a nice, decent, good-looking, middle-class guy with lots of ambition, a good job, and tons of talent actually likes you and treats you with respect? Is that too boring and unchallenging?

[it is if all he wants to do is sit on the couch and watch TV, or play computer games, or talk incessantly about star trek.]

Is he weak for wanting a relationship with you?

[Why is it that any time these guys talk about "wanting a relationship" that they can't have, it's invariably with the fucked-up bimbo-type that is busy chasing assholes?]

P.S. My dad is still an asshole to her. Mostly he just playfully picks on her for being fat (she's not, considering she's 55 and had 3 kids)

[Your dad IS an asshole. There's no such thing as "playfully" belittling someone about their weight. With a role model like that, no wonder you are fucked up.]


From: "Andrew Gasson" <agas0541@bigpond.net.au>
Subject: Thankyou HBI among others for showing me the light!
Date: Thu, 18 Aug 2005 11:25:38 +1000
Yes I am a man, of which I'm sure is one of many that have visited here. Yours is one among a series of "nice guys are morons" type sites that I have visited. Yes I had this pathetic disease, and a victim mentality, and looking back how pathetic is that. I used to want the supermodel type who appeared to be a victim and needed saving.

One day I woke up and thought, Andy no wonder you're not finding anyone your acting like a complete tosspot. All nice guys suffer from having a lack of their own life - or that is what they convey to other women. When infact they probably have shitloads of stuff they enjoy, but are too pathetic to share it, with the fear a woman will loose interest in him

Anyways after reading your's and other sites, I looked at myself and thought - grow up be yourself hit those pubs and hunt for a woman who could drink me under the table, or argue with me if I act the tit among other things. And yup a year after changing into me (the real me) - yes I'm a beer swillin yob, yes I do love computers and techno music etc., I've had no problem finding women - and not of the victim variety either - chicks who would kick your whinning ass to the curb if you even tried it!

Thanks for a great read, awsome work

Andy
Australia


Date: Thu, 25 Aug 2005 02:52:19 -0700 (PDT)
From: Anthony <mc_slice@yahoo.com>
Subject: A "Nice Guy" Comes Clean

Nice guys suck.... I've read this many times on many websites

The first time I read how nice guys suck, I was infuriated. This was my first major step into breaking my nice guy ways. The road to recovery is long, but I know I'm headed in the right direction

In the anger of self-realization, my testicles finally descended and I decided to do something about my miserable life. As a nice guy, I was miserable... I was always bitching about how girls don't like "nice guys." I was the "caring friend" to lots of women, yet I couldn't score with any of them. I was lonely, depressed, and waiting for "the one" to come along and save me. Don't we all wish life could be like the movies? I hope not (most movies suck anyway, especially ROMANTIC COMEDIES; yuck)

There's something about manipulative jerks that people don't like. The nice guy is a master at being a manipulative jerk. He's had years of practice honing his skills. He practices his misogyny, anger, and hatred under the guise of "niceness." He seems so passive, but in truth, he has built up many years of rage, hurt, and guilt

And just like a balloon... POP!

The "nice guy" ends up lashing out at people he shouldn't be lashing out at. People that actually give a shit about him. Nice guys are masters at sabotaging their own relationships. The once "nice guy" may end up physically or verbally abusing those they love. In essence, you can't contain years of anger and expect it not to surface once in a while. I have hurt people in such a fashion..

Sometimes the nice guy posts on a website about how much he hates women when the only thing he should be angry about is his own behavior

Let's get this straight. The nice guy isn't a fundamentally bad person per se. He's just really mixed up. Deep inside his psyche, the nice guy believes he is a truly bad and evil person, not worthy of being loved by anyone (I thank my loving parents for this - but hey, my relationship with them is pretty solid now - no parent ever had an instruction manual on how to be the perfect parent). This was the insecurity that caused me years of misery and grief. I believed by being "a good boy," I would receive the love and attention I deserved. But the years of disappointment and frustration fed the fundamental belief that I was "bad."

Today I don't think I'm bad. I don't think I'm good either. I can be an asshole. I can be kind. It depends on my mood

I'm just me. In all of my imperfect glory. I am a complex person. I don't always do the right thing. I don't always do the wrong thing. I am human

Sure, I got insecurities about myself. I just don't dump them on my date (who then is subsequently creeped out or turned off). I share them with safe, trusted people that I've known for a long time. When they need to unload some shit, I'm there for them. For once, I owe them something instead of them owing something to me. Friendships aren't a one-way street, in case you haven't heard. People get freaked out when you push all of your insecurites on the table before they get to see the positive side of you. I used to think if you were "completely honest" about yourself, the girl would fall in love with you because you appear "sensitive." In truth, you just appear weak. Women don't want a weak guy they have to support emotioinally. They've got their own problems to deal with, just like everybody else in the world

I am grateful to have had the privilege to earn a Bachelor's in Psychology (amazing considering all the drug and alcohol abuse I did because of my nice guy ways). One important thing I've learned is that however long it takes for you to get as screwed up as you are, the same amount of time is required to undo the damage

So that means for me, a VERY LONG TIME

Since I want a POSITIVE relationship with a significant other, I've decided not to pursue love as a remedy to my "issues" anymore. That means I've decided to stay single. I've held to that decision for over a year. I can't stand any more disappointment and hurt on my behalf. I'm not scared. One day I'll finally get it. As for now..

I get to do really great things for myself so I feel important. I get to build my career and secure myself instead of covertly chasing tail under the charade of "niceness" all of the time. I get to face myself and practice self-acceptance instead of trying to win someone else's approval. I can face up to people and not get stomped on all of the time. I get to smoke cigarettes and celebrate my developing emphysema without somebody constantly nagging me about it. I get to go out and party with my friends and get sloshed when I want to. I get to act bad and good. I get to freely express my ADD and go off on tangents all of the time. I am a selfish person, and I'm loving every second of taking care of my own wants and needs. It's nice to be able to stare in the mirror and not hate yourself

So, Nice Guys of the world..

Schedule some fucking therapy sessions for yourself!!!!


Date: Tue, 13 Sep 2005 20:01:01 +0900
From: Joshua M
Subject: Why Nice Guys Clog up the Internet

A friend of mine -- who most certainly is a 'nice guy' in the process of reforming his backwards view towards life and women -- created a wildly successful webpage which even made Newsweek. As a result, I found myself on a forum filled with 'nice guys' who made the regular complaints about women and there was nary a sane voice in the bunch

Fortunately, a sane woman, who has my praise and adoration, posted a link to your rants against 'nice guys' and hopefully will make a dent on the sad strange group of misogynistic men with yellow fever who frequent the site in question.

Well, the articles probably won't make an impact, but one can hope.

And it got me to thinking, for all the people I know in real life, very few are 'nice guys,' let alone to the degree that seem to swarm around on the internet posting nonsense opinions and other uninformed drivel

&quot;So why the Hell do they all frequent the internet&quot; thunked yours truly. Clearly there's the element of creating a 'respectable' persona that everyone can, well, pretend to respect. As if they aren't total woman-hating losers off the internet. But I think that the most significant reason is that non 'nice guys' tend to have a lot less to say about women. Typically because they have them.

It's really sad. When you see comments about women on the board in question, they seem to consist of 'OMG my gurlfriend is so HAWT!' with other equally vaccuous praise, or it tends to be comments about how the person who has the 'HAWT' girlfriend is so lucky, because all women ignore them and they are sick of all the assholes getting the HAWT women.

The irony of course being that the guy with the girlfriend can't be an asshole, because he's a nice enough guy on the internet, and pays attention to the 'nice guy' in question.

Those of us who tend to be a little better balanced -- or at least not stupid to announce our insecurities and little 'peckadillos' (as Robin Williams put it in Good Will Hunting) in public -- sit there and watch the train wreck progress, or throw ourselves in front of a steaming locomotive and get run over, only to learn from it.

So in short, I respect your quest to enlighten the poor deluded masses who have no concept of personal responsibility, or cause and effect. I feel, however, that a human chain of common sense cannot stop the locomotive of low self-confidence and raging hormones. If you do find a solution -- preferrably in some form of aersol dispenser -- please allow me to test it out. I would be infinitely appreciative.

- Joshua "OMG you f'ing prick" M.


From: "Dan *" <daniel_jc@hotmail.com>
Subject: Comments: mostly on labelling and procrastination
Date: Fri, 16 Sep 2005 13:04:39 +1000
To be honest, I'm bored, and procrastinating...I just linked a friend to a Something Positive comment that I got off your site, and thought I'd waste some more time by sending you an email. Not that sending you an email's a waste of time of course...just...you know..

In any case, one of my friends linked my to your site after trying to explain why she didn't like nice guys. I must admit, when she first said that she didn't like nice guys, it kind of raised my hackles, as I'm sure it would any guy - hell, I consider myself a nice guy! (as apposed to a "nice guy"). Obviously I'm not one to consider myself an asshole...as who would label themself as something with such a connotation, unless it was in an ironic kinda way (*coughheartlessbitchcough*). But yes, after reading one or two rants, I've got to say that I agree with you guys, although probably not for the same reasons. From a guy's point of view, I don't care if a mate's insecure in a relationship, because it's not my problem to be honest. But I do think it's stupid when they try to make friends with someone they're interested in, hiding behind a safe facade, rather than expressing their interest. Or when they complain that said friend has another new boyfriend that they don't approve of for various superflous reasons...The way I figure it, life's pretty short, so why bother acting (or not) on insecurities. Everyone has them - just supress them like the psychologically healthy individuals the rest of us are ;)

So...now whenever I talk to someone who looks to be heading down that kind of track (today someone asked me "when you're in love...when's the right time to try and hold their hand" - my response - "the first date") I link them to you. Saves a lot of heartache in the long run, I'm sure.

Dan



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