The latest comments from and about Nice Guys...
Date: Wed, 6 Apr 2005 17:44:59 +0100
From: Alexander Jakeman <ersatz.nihilist@gmail.com>
Subject: Website Comments..
Hey,
Just thought I'd drop a quick compliment over your website. I only
stumbled across it the other day (and into the 'Nice Guys' section)
because of some coursework I'm doing on 'mating' practices (all stats,
no fun sadly)
I think your stance on that issue (I'ven not been through the whole
site yet) is more or less bang on. I used to carry a lot of the traits
myself, before I finally came to the same conclusions as you and
sorted it all out. It's really cathartic reading through it all and
cringing at a good number of the points
But apparently catharsis is good for the soul
So all in all, fantastic
Best website I've seen in Yonks
- Alex
From: "Andrew Whitley" <andrewmuaddib@hotmail.com>
Subject: Heartless Bitches International
Date: Wed, 06 Apr 2005 23:18:45 +0400
Good evening (it's 11:18 pm in Iraq),
Your site was both an entertaining and informative read. You have a lot of
good information on abuse which I commend you for. I wish I believed your
quest to explain why "nice guys" finish "last" would even make a dent, but,
as a guy, I think it's a lost cause. Blaming someone else rather than
fixing yourself - being happy, having your own friends, hobbies, and life -
is the easier route. The boys who choose that route seldom put themselves
in the fire and get stronger - they whine about the burn
And I'm not being entirely fair - I was truly impressed with the depth of
information you had on your site about emotional abuse - I hope a few
people read it and decide to get out of an abusive relationship, or in the
case of an abuser - change ... for their own good
Best of luck,
Andrew Whitley
From: "Kent Ardle" <kardle@cox.net>
Subject: "NICE GUYS"
Date: Sat, 9 Apr 2005 13:00:57 -0700
Hello, I just came across your site and read the
article on nice guys. I am a 43 year old single man and I agree with your
assesment of nice guys.
I myself was a self professed "nice guy" until I
got a clue and got over myself. Confidense is sexy to a woman and a man has to
like himself before he can like others
Just thought I would put my two-cents
worth
Kent
Date: Tue, 12 Apr 2005 10:16:30 -0400
From: "Lyon, Thomas G" <thomas.g.lyon@lmco.com>
Subject: recovering nice guy
Great site. This like a halfway house for nice guys
From: "Louise Cloutier" <lcloutier@sogetel.net>
Subject: COMMENTS Excuse My English
Date: Thu, 14 Apr 2005 00:40:53 -0400
You're saying a woman can't think for herself and
perceive that the guy is a jerk on her own
Why does women deserves to be
encouraged and not men?
And i think you forgot some women
are very controlling too, they don't use their muscles, they are using
'Psychological Violence'
What about 'Nice Girls' who have great ass.
Who control most of men (not me) just because they have an insecure or weak
personality?
You know i agree your point about 'Nice
Guys'. But why don't you talk a little bit more about 'Nice Girls' who are the
same % of population than the 'Nice Guys'. You want equality, are you equal?
I Hope. And for myself I try the best I can even if i am not
perfect.
Even kind guys who cares about what
people need are sometimes acting like 'Nice-Guys'. They don't do it cause they
are 'INSECURE,WEAK,CONTROLLING' just because they think that is what girls want,
they want to please them. Even if it's not working, i think the motivation is to
considerate. It is a sign good will. This just can't be bad. Our
errors lead us to the path of the truth.
I know what you mean by 'Nice Guys' I
knew some and hated them as much as you do. But I also met boys who are very
inteligent.
I liked the site, even if I does
not agree with all your opinions, I think you and I are on the good way to
understand what's really happenning in this world. Please Excuse my english once
again.
Friendly, René, 18 years old Québec Canada
Date: Fri, 22 Apr 2005 13:01:44 -0700 (PDT)
From: "David \"Nice\"" <dabyds@yahoo.com>
Subject: Former Nice Guy (tm)
Hello bitches,
I just finished reading that article about "Nice Guys"
and I just had to write to say THANK YOU! I've been
looking for the answer for some time now and thanks to
you I've found it. Today I quit my job as CEO of Nice
Guys Inc.
Maybe you're not use to this but yes, believe it, this
is a former Nice Guy writing a thank you note for your
help. And may I add, you guys were great with the
description, you didn't leave anything out, I was a
"nice guy" in every single way you described. You did
me a great favor now I like myself and at the same
time you did a great favor to whatever lucky woman
finds me in her future, 'cause I'm not Mr. Nice Guy
anymore. I'm.... Yeah I gotta change my name, David is
such a nice guy name! GaG!
Again... Thank you and god bless you, or not
P.S: Should I write a letter of apology to my ex for
ever meeting me when I was a Nice Guy? Or is that a
Nice Guy thing to do... J/K I know it is.
Date: Wed, 4 May 2005 03:57 -0400
Subject: Male Flame form : Derrick
Name: Derrick
COMMENTS: Hello, women of HBI. I have recently visited the "Nice Guys" section of your site, and I find it to be somewhat of a misrepresentation. On the one hand, identifying the label "nice guy" as a title that's shown, not self-imposed, is understandable; being a "nice guy" should reveal itself through one's conduct. However, the way that the material on this site portrays the average nice guy would both make it seem as if those who are truly kind are simply being underhanded and therefore don't deserve to "get the girl," and those who are in fact using "niceness" as a facade to get girls are somehow more reprehensible than those females who manipulate men and are cheered on for it. Conversely, those who have no regard for the feelings of women, and no respect for women, that is to say, "jerks," are seen as real men and truly genuine, because men apparently only act like sub-human neanderthals, thus any man who does not act this way is automatically trying to get into bed with a woman. Or he's gay
Allow me to elaborate. A person who is confident, directed, respectful and considerate toward women, and fairly attractive could be considered a good potential boyfriend, except he's not as interesting as someone who's on the wrong side of the law or enjoys causing pain and suffering, like, say, a jerk. As much as the nice guy has going for him, he doesn't have enough novelty for a girl to be attracted to him, and thus a girl will choose the jerk. And then, two months later, she'll come to the guy who actually cares about her well-being and tell him how she regrets having made that decision. As a person who's been in this situation, I can say that it's frustrating to hear that she's having problems like this, especially if one has offered her the chance for a healthy relationship and she turned it down
Unfortunately, no matter how many jerks the girl runs into, the nice guy will never be attractive to her, simply because...why? Given that he's directed, he has his own focus, and therefore doesn't define his life in terms of hers, since he's making sure his life is what he wants it to be. He's not a worrying loser who wouldn't have the confidence to ask her out, and he's not a self-righteous bigot who would laugh in her face at her problems that arose directly from her choosing jerks over him. He remains her friend despite the fact that she may have hurt him. Now I'm not saying that she should return the favor by getting with him, but why go for all the jerks? What's so much more attractive about them? What can the nice guy change about himself that makes him more attractive to women? He's got looks, respect, money, direction and confidence; what should he improve? By what I've read here, it seems your answer would be that he's either lying about one or many of those things, or there's something else wrong with him. However, by experience, it doesn't seem as if this is the case. Clarification on your stance would be appreciated
Why is it that women don't seem to want a healthy relationship? Bad guys give them something to fix; jerks give them something to heal. It seems as if the only way anyone can be successful with any girl is by tripping blind people at intersections, pushing old ladies off cliffs, or shooting koala bears in the face. Otherwise, they're too "nice" and therefore aren't worth anyone's time
And then if you do somehow make it past all the testing, you virtually get no green light to go ahead. Unless the girl really wants to jump your bones, she makes no show of attraction, and since the nicer guys tend to respect a girl's feelings and don't want to go further than they are allowed, they end up with nothing. It's no longer just a fear of rejection; it's a fear of being arrested. However, women continue to believe that the half-hearted, intentionally deceptive "signals" they give are good enough, since any guy who likes them enough will ask them out regardless of possible consequences. However, even though guys are required to do this, it never seems to cross a girl's mind to show similar respect and maybe throw him a bone or two
It simply seems as if a nice guy will never be attractive to a woman. Any woman. And it seems as if it's all because he's nice. Respect used to be valuable, but it seems so cheap now, thanks to these types of actions. Perhaps, given the fact that you probably wouldn't have much reason to be dishonest, I will find some answers from you
Date: Sat, 7 May 2005 06:52 -0400
Subject: Male Flame form : Andy
COMMENTS: I'll keep this short yet sweet
Don't get me wrong, I respect all women. Don't care where they come
from, who they are or what they do. Yet still believing that real women
are those who are submissive.
Because lets face it, women are not
naturally that way
That is why self-control for all is important. Men
have the same problem of self-control with sexuallity, that is how they
turn out to be pigs. And in the same way women can turn out as
"Heartless Bitches" if no self-control is there
For you to promote no self-control isn't right.
And as much as you like to deny your
conscience, you know it
I hope some day, some guy will sweep you off
your feet. Yet that is very unlikely, because of the environment born
into and live in
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