The "Nice Guys" archive

Comments - round 36
Comments - round 35
Comments - round 34
Comments - round 33
Comments - round 32
Comments - round 31
Comments - round 30
Comments - round 29
Comments - round 28
Comments - round 27
Comments - round 26
Comments - round 25
Comments - round 24
Comments - round 23
Comments - round 22
Comments - round 21
Comments - round 20
Comments - round 19
Comments - round 18
Comments - round 17
Comments - round 16
Comments - round 15
Comments - round 14
Comments - round 13
Comments - round 12
Comments - round 11
Comments - round 10
Comments - round 9
Comments - round 8
Comments - round 7
Comments - round 6
Comments - round 5
Comments - round 4
Comments - round 3
Comments - round 2
Comments - round 1.5
Comments - round 1
Nice Guys = BLEAH!
Nice Guys we can do without

And Still more comments from and about Nice Guys...

Date: Thu, 25 Mar 2004 22:23 -0500
Subject: Male Flame form : Anthony
From: unlimited415@aol.com

Below is the result of your feedback form. It was submitted by
(unlimited415@aol.com) on Thursday, March 25, 2004 at 22:23:38

COMMENTS: About your Nice Guys pages. I think it provides some good obvious insight, which might not be so obvious to a lot of guys.

[BUT.... wait for it.... can't you see it coming?]

One note I have is that not all "nice guys" do things just to GET the women You can judge this by looking at how they act with family, guy friends, and girls they aren't interested in. Some people really feel good inside when they help someone else or make someone else feel good/happy, even if they have no intentions/interest in hooking up with them.

[You see, guys like THAT, don't whine and complain though, about how "Nice Guys" always get shit on. Because they aren't LOOKING for some kind of payback.]

I'm not discrediting any of the articles, but did want to point out that such guys exist. We just have to learn to look out for ourselvse more by not concentrating on others so much or it will, in effect be hurting ourselves..not just with girls we like, but with other people who may (sometimes unintentionally) take advantage. I'm still trying to get out of the loop now


From: "Aaron McCain" (akronsk8@hotmail.com)
Subject: too good!
Date: Fri, 26 Mar 2004 00:49:31 -0500

HAHAHA, that was a funny.. editorial. I must say you have the "nice guy" pegged. I ahve seen alot of guys whining about "how could this happen, I was so good to her..." and "I would have died for her.." I must say, people say this shit but I wonder who they don't realize that they are so full of crap. I could see myself saying I would die for my girl if I was 80 and had spent most of my adult life with the woman... that would be understandable. Bu anyhow, even thought you are right in soooooooooooooo many ways there is one exception that you kind of left out. And it kind of deals with my way of looking at it all.

A little while ago my sister (older) found out about how many women I have been with and she flipped out b/c she thought it was outragously too high. I don't boast about it, I havebeen lucky for the most part as I did get to play some high level sports and have worked in the nightclub business for quite a while now.. And although I have occasionaly taken advantage of my position I guess.. the girls that go for it also have a pretty good idea about what is going on and don't have pipe dreams of getting thier dream guy out of it.. But even then, I wouldn't put myself in the catagory of scum bag as my sister has so quickly judged me. I know what I want out of life for themost part and I set out to achieve my goals without much compromise if I don't need to unless of course taking a different route to get there. Because of that I am quite content with my life and all that I do. But I also take the time to pay attention to the females in my life.. hell even te guys too b/c that is what being a good friend is about anyhow. I try to be understanding and not over react, and keep issues in check by clear communication. And if I happen to go about my own life and come across something that would make someone else in my life happy or feel special I make sure I pick it up or do it. It isn't that fucking hard guys! So although I have been around alto, it has shown me how to live my life but be a good partner and from most all the girls I have learned something positive.

SO, what does it all come out to? I am a nice guy. Not because I look for approval or support, I get that from my music and other such areas of my life; but that doesn't stop me from taking a few extra seconds in my journey through each day to keep people in my mind. Given, not all people fit into my life, and I let them go without much remorse. But the ones that really do matter will naturally stick around without having to compromise each others goals in life.

Not to mention, that you are bound to piss off someone of be an asshole aometimes even if you don't mean to.

Therefore, drooling over some chick or trying to do every little thing you can to please someone just plain sucks... and that doesn't make you a good bf. It makes you a bitch! 1+1=2 not 1+bitch!

[Not Bitch, try "spineless desperate loser". Problem is that these types can't make the distinction between "being kind, considerate and loving", and being a DOORMAT.]

Soooo, you can be a guy and a generally nice one at that. So assholes, you aren't that cool, "players", who gives the fuck if you can cum on 30 girls a week b/c chances are it only takes you 20 seconds b/c you don't take the time to really turn a chick on and make it worthwhile, and pussy ass "nice guys", well hmmm, just fuck off and whine to the bar stool next to you quietly so us others who are having fun don't have to hear you (and leave the bartender alone he doesn't want to hear it anyway, only wants tips). The only thing that is any good that comes from the bitch "nice guys" is a funny website. But there are real nice guys out there that aren't like the ones on your site who should get a shout out. Because we don't finish last. And if you don't think so, then I guess getting $250/ hour to make people dance all fucking night living a decent life and being happy is not getting ahead ...

Oh yeah, to all you guys that bitch about not getting enough head but won't eat pussy to save your own life.. nah, if you don't even like it at all...... FUCK YOU! Get some balls and get to work!

[Hear that boys? It's all about RECIPROCITY! *laugh*]

From: "Rhiannon" (epona-rhi@blueyonder.co.uk)
Subject: No warning really necessary! :)
Date: Thu, 1 Apr 2004 02:52:38 -0400

I came across this site while searching Google for the phrase "don't let the bastards drag you down". My initial impression from some of the quotes was "oh great, yet ANOTHER male-slagging site" (I regularly see about five per day, so this is not exactly uncommon), but something stood out about your site and I decided to satisfy my curiosity as to what that was. I'm glad I did. This is definitely entertaining and educational...wish I had known about it a few years ago when I could have really used it!

I used to be one of the "nice guys" who "never got any chicks" because "they only like assholes". Well, to make a long story short, it was an encounter with a woman who was truly a heartless bitch that made me realize that if I didn't change my own ways, I'd always be alone, unhappy, and a "nice guy". She made me understand the difference between ego and confidence, and showed me the kind of confidence I needed to break free of the self-destructive nice-guy syndrome. After that, I had absolutely no problem finding a woman to be with. Of course, the ego crept in from the other side and I ended up getting hurt by a woman who seduced me, dummified me, and then left me for another man. That made me realize that there are two sides to the process: the first being "trading" egotisticalness for confidence, and the second being never losing yourself to someone.

[A lesson that many men and women seem to have a hard time learning...]

Instead of reverting back to the "nice guy" syndrome, I decided to try my hand as the asshole. Didn't work, because real women (real women being women who are not the whiney sniveling manipulative idiots you describe on your site) don't like dickheads, plain and simple.

[Funny, that.]

What I did learn from all of this, and this is something that maybe a few so-called men out there can learn from as well (if they take their eyes away from the sports channel long enough) is that a man needs to be confident, genuine, and strong. No real woman likes a man who wallows in pity (the old affection-through-pity might get you sex from a bimbo but nothing else) and no real woman likes a pansy. One thing both men and women also need to understand, and I noticed you do cover this, is that the past needs to be left there..bringing former relationships into a new or current one is a recipe for disaster. Will Smith did a song where he basically says 'yeah, some woman's going to break your heart son, but when it happens, don't take it out on the next.' I see too many people doing this...and in former times, myself also.

I realized I had to set ground rules for myself or I'd never find what I was looking for. I vowed to never be with another woman who soaked herself in pity or made excuses, I vowed I'd keep true to my own convictions, and I vowed I'd never lose myself again. I also stopped ignoring the one basic principle that I carry with me, which is a need for intimacy. In essence, I became a very he sexually liberated man, and that helped greatly later on. There is a huge difference between being sexually liberated and being a selfish slut. I had no problem being sexually free with a woman, and I also had no problem turning down women who had a sexually repressed outlook on life. Of course, I got called slut a lot, but I just laughed it off.

Ironically, as soon as I had my ground rules firmly in place for myself, the most perfect woman I could ever dream about walked into my life. Although she had one final lesson in life to learn about before we ended up together permanently (she was misled by another guy, very long story but has a happy ending!), we did come together and it has been nothing but amazing every day of our relationship, which is now just about one year old. She is incredibly strong-willed, very smart and witty, and has bigger balls than 98% of the 'men' I know. She detests bimbos and finds my sarcastic personality very sexy and funny. I could go on and on about just how amazing of a woman she is. And of course...the line of men who want her is very long, and she brushes them all off with a smile because she knows they just don't have what it takes to be with her. She says 'but they do make good friends!' and I have to chuckle to myself because there was a time when I was in their shoes. To top it all off...she is just as sexually liberated I am. I will not get into the details of our sex life, so use your imagination. :)

[Uh, no thanks.]

Now, every day is like heaven on earth. Neither her nor I ever imagined we'd ever find true happiness, and yet we have and it shows no signs of slowing down anytime soon. Even our little disagreements vanish quickly. Now, instead of accepting a lifetime of arguing because it's the way I thought life was (my parents constantly fought, and most all the women I'd been with previously seemed to enjoy arguing and fighting), it's easy to come to an agreement quickly because arguing leads to unhappiness and that's something neither of us want to ever be again.

[Twoo Woove.... David, there is such a thing as belaboring a point. To DEATH.]

And all because I dropped the "nice guy" syndrome and set rules for myself. And apparently...so did she (the "good girl" syndrome). She decided to stop putting up with crap in her life and made some of her own changes. It was very difficult for her but she knew she had to do it or she'd always be lonely in life. And I think a lot of women (and men too), if they want to stay lonely, they can just keep on going the way they are and it'll always guarantee them loneliness. Your life will never change until you change it yourself. The process is very hard, but once you start getting a taste of the success that the change brings, it becomes addictive and you want it more and more. But never grow complacent...for even when (not if...WHEN...having the positive attitude is also very important) you find happiness, it must be maintained and cultivated or it can slip away. It takes practice and you'll likely fall from it a few times, but you eventually get the hang of it. From there, life is great. :)

I apologize for 'ranting', but I enjoyed your site so much that I felt I'd share some of my own experience and the experience of my wonderful woman with you. And for the record...I'm emailing from HER computer, using HER email account. :D

[And this is relevant, why?]

Keep up the good work! :) And when she gets home from her business trip, I'll be sure to show her this website (unlike that pansy who wanted to 'protect' his wife from your site...bahahahahaha!!). :)

Sincerely,
David Perry


From: "Gene Herron"
Subject: I dunno
Date: Sat, 3 Apr 2004 12:05:26 -0400

Howdy, Ma'am,

[Howdy?]

If you all were really "heartless" you wouldn't have an entire section of your site devoted to Nice Guys.  You'd have let us Nice Guys wander around clueless if you were really heartless.

["you all"? I can see talking like that, but in email?]

I knew some of the ideas that you post already, but reading it here has reinforced what I had suspected; women don't necessarily like nice guys.

[What was your first clue?]

  Seeing it from your points of view, I don't rightly blame them either.  I'm still a bit confused, but that will iron out with field work.

Thank you for the clues.  Figure that since you are doing some of us a good turn you may want to be reminded that you are doing good out here.

[Why Shucks, Gene. Thankee kindly!]

Gene

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