And Still more comments from and about Nice Guys...
Date: Thu, 25 Mar 2004 22:23 -0500
Subject: Male Flame form : Anthony
From: unlimited415@aol.com
Below is the result of your feedback form. It was submitted by
(unlimited415@aol.com) on Thursday, March 25, 2004 at 22:23:38
COMMENTS: About your Nice Guys pages. I think it provides some good
obvious insight, which might not be so obvious to a lot of guys.
One note I have is that not all "nice guys" do things just to GET the
women You can judge this by looking at how they act with family, guy
friends, and girls they aren't interested in. Some people really feel
good inside when they help someone else or make someone else feel
good/happy, even if they have no intentions/interest in hooking up with
them.
I'm not discrediting any of the articles, but did want to point out that
such guys exist. We just have to learn to look out for ourselvse more by
not concentrating on others so much or it will, in effect be hurting
ourselves..not just with girls we like, but with other people who may
(sometimes unintentionally) take advantage. I'm still trying to get out
of the loop now
From: "Aaron McCain" (akronsk8@hotmail.com)
Subject: too good!
Date: Fri, 26 Mar 2004 00:49:31 -0500
HAHAHA, that was a funny.. editorial. I must say you have the "nice guy"
pegged. I ahve seen alot of guys whining about "how could this happen, I
was so good to her..." and "I would have died for her.." I must say, people
say this shit but I wonder who they don't realize that they are so full of
crap. I could see myself saying I would die for my girl if I was 80 and had
spent most of my adult life with the woman... that would be understandable.
Bu anyhow, even thought you are right in soooooooooooooo many ways there is
one exception that you kind of left out. And it kind of deals with my way
of looking at it all.
A little while ago my sister (older) found out about how many women I have
been with and she flipped out b/c she thought it was outragously too high.
I don't boast about it, I havebeen lucky for the most part as I did get to
play some high level sports and have worked in the nightclub business for
quite a while now.. And although I have occasionaly taken advantage of my
position I guess.. the girls that go for it also have a pretty good idea
about what is going on and don't have pipe dreams of getting thier dream guy
out of it.. But even then, I wouldn't put myself in the catagory of scum
bag as my sister has so quickly judged me. I know what I want out of life
for themost part and I set out to achieve my goals without much compromise
if I don't need to unless of course taking a different route to get there.
Because of that I am quite content with my life and all that I do. But I
also take the time to pay attention to the females in my life.. hell even te
guys too b/c that is what being a good friend is about anyhow. I try to be
understanding and not over react, and keep issues in check by clear
communication. And if I happen to go about my own life and come across
something that would make someone else in my life happy or feel special I
make sure I pick it up or do it. It isn't that fucking hard guys! So
although I have been around alto, it has shown me how to live my life but be
a good partner and from most all the girls I have learned something
positive.
SO, what does it all come out to? I am a nice guy. Not because I look for
approval or support, I get that from my music and other such areas of my
life; but that doesn't stop me from taking a few extra seconds in my journey
through each day to keep people in my mind. Given, not all people fit into
my life, and I let them go without much remorse. But the ones that really
do matter will naturally stick around without having to compromise each
others goals in life.
Not to mention, that you are bound to piss off someone of be an asshole
aometimes even if you don't mean to.
Therefore, drooling over some chick or trying to do every little thing you
can to please someone just plain sucks... and that doesn't make you a good
bf. It makes you a bitch! 1+1=2 not 1+bitch!
Soooo, you can be a guy and a generally nice one at that. So assholes, you
aren't that cool, "players", who gives the fuck if you can cum on 30 girls a
week b/c chances are it only takes you 20 seconds b/c you don't take the
time to really turn a chick on and make it worthwhile, and pussy ass "nice
guys", well hmmm, just fuck off and whine to the bar stool next to you
quietly so us others who are having fun don't have to hear you (and leave
the bartender alone he doesn't want to hear it anyway, only wants tips).
The only thing that is any good that comes from the bitch "nice guys" is a
funny website. But there are real nice guys out there that aren't like the
ones on your site who should get a shout out. Because we don't finish last.
And if you don't think so, then I guess getting $250/ hour to make people
dance all fucking night living a decent life and being happy is not getting
ahead ...
Oh yeah, to all you guys that bitch about not getting enough head but won't
eat pussy to save your own life.. nah, if you don't even like it at
all...... FUCK YOU! Get some balls and get to work!
From: "Rhiannon" (epona-rhi@blueyonder.co.uk)
Subject: No warning really necessary! :)
Date: Thu, 1 Apr 2004 02:52:38 -0400
I came across this site while searching Google for
the phrase "don't let the bastards drag you down". My initial impression from
some of the quotes was "oh great, yet ANOTHER male-slagging site" (I regularly
see about five per day, so this is not exactly uncommon), but something stood
out about your site and I decided to satisfy my curiosity as to what that was.
I'm glad I did. This is definitely entertaining and educational...wish I had
known about it a few years ago when I could have really used it!
I used to be one of the "nice guys" who "never got
any chicks" because "they only like assholes". Well, to make a long story short,
it was an encounter with a woman who was truly a heartless bitch that made me
realize that if I didn't change my own ways, I'd always be alone, unhappy, and a
"nice guy". She made me understand the difference between ego and confidence,
and showed me the kind of confidence I needed to break free of the
self-destructive nice-guy syndrome. After that, I had absolutely no problem
finding a woman to be with. Of course, the ego crept in from the other side and
I ended up getting hurt by a woman who seduced me, dummified me, and then left
me for another man. That made me realize that there are two sides to the
process: the first being "trading" egotisticalness for confidence, and the
second being never losing yourself to someone.
Instead of reverting back to the
"nice guy" syndrome, I decided to try my hand as the asshole. Didn't work,
because real women (real women being women who are not the whiney sniveling
manipulative idiots you describe on your site) don't like dickheads, plain and
simple.
What I did learn from all of this, and this is something that maybe a
few so-called men out there can learn from as well (if they take their eyes away
from the sports channel long enough) is that a man needs to be confident,
genuine, and strong. No real woman likes a man who wallows in pity (the old
affection-through-pity might get you sex from a bimbo but nothing else) and no
real woman likes a pansy. One thing both men and women also need to understand,
and I noticed you do cover this, is that the past needs to be left
there..bringing former relationships into a new or current one is a recipe for
disaster. Will Smith did a song where he basically says 'yeah, some woman's
going to break your heart son, but when it happens, don't take it out on the
next.' I see too many people doing this...and in former times, myself
also.
I realized I had to set ground rules for myself or
I'd never find what I was looking for. I vowed to never be with another woman
who soaked herself in pity or made excuses, I vowed I'd keep true to my own
convictions, and I vowed I'd never lose myself again. I also stopped ignoring
the one basic principle that I carry with me, which is a need for intimacy. In
essence, I became a very he sexually liberated man, and that helped greatly
later on. There is a huge difference between being sexually liberated and being
a selfish slut. I had no problem being sexually free with a woman, and I also
had no problem turning down women who had a sexually repressed outlook on life.
Of course, I got called slut a lot, but I just laughed it off.
Ironically, as soon as I had my ground rules firmly
in place for myself, the most perfect woman I could ever dream about walked into
my life. Although she had one final lesson in life to learn about before we
ended up together permanently (she was misled by another guy, very long story
but has a happy ending!), we did come together and it has been nothing but
amazing every day of our relationship, which is now just about one year old. She
is incredibly strong-willed, very smart and witty, and has bigger balls than 98%
of the 'men' I know. She detests bimbos and finds my sarcastic personality very
sexy and funny. I could go on and on about just how amazing of a woman she is.
And of course...the line of men who want her is very long, and she brushes them
all off with a smile because she knows they just don't have what it takes to be
with her. She says 'but they do make good friends!' and I have to chuckle to
myself because there was a time when I was in their shoes. To top it all
off...she is just as sexually liberated I am. I will not get into the
details of our sex life, so use your imagination. :)
Now, every day is like heaven on earth. Neither her
nor I ever imagined we'd ever find true happiness, and yet we have and it shows
no signs of slowing down anytime soon. Even our little disagreements vanish
quickly. Now, instead of accepting a lifetime of arguing because it's the way I
thought life was (my parents constantly fought, and most all the women I'd been
with previously seemed to enjoy arguing and fighting), it's easy to come to an
agreement quickly because arguing leads to unhappiness and that's something
neither of us want to ever be again.
And all because I dropped the "nice guy" syndrome
and set rules for myself. And apparently...so did she (the "good girl"
syndrome). She decided to stop putting up with crap in her life and made some of
her own changes. It was very difficult for her but she knew she had to do it or
she'd always be lonely in life. And I think a lot of women (and men too), if
they want to stay lonely, they can just keep on going the way they are and it'll
always guarantee them loneliness. Your life will never change until you change
it yourself. The process is very hard, but once you start getting a taste of the
success that the change brings, it becomes addictive and you want it more and
more. But never grow complacent...for even when (not if...WHEN...having the
positive attitude is also very important) you find happiness, it must be
maintained and cultivated or it can slip away. It takes practice and you'll
likely fall from it a few times, but you eventually get the hang of it. From
there, life is great. :)
I apologize for 'ranting', but I enjoyed your site
so much that I felt I'd share some of my own experience and the experience of my
wonderful woman with you. And for the record...I'm emailing from HER computer,
using HER email account. :D
Keep up the good work! :) And when she gets home
from her business trip, I'll be sure to show her this website (unlike that pansy
who wanted to 'protect' his wife from your site...bahahahahaha!!).
:)
Sincerely,
David Perry
From: "Gene Herron"
Subject: I dunno
Date: Sat, 3 Apr 2004 12:05:26 -0400
Howdy, Ma'am,
If you all were really "heartless" you wouldn't
have an entire section of your site devoted to Nice Guys. You'd have let
us Nice Guys wander around clueless if you were really
heartless.
I knew some of the ideas that you post already, but
reading it here has reinforced what I had suspected; women don't necessarily
like nice guys.
Seeing it from your points of view, I don't rightly blame
them either. I'm still a bit confused, but that will iron out with field
work.
Thank you for the clues. Figure that since
you are doing some of us a good turn you may want to be reminded that you
are doing good out here.
Gene
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