The "Nice Guys" archive

Comments - round 36
Comments - round 35
Comments - round 34
Comments - round 33
Comments - round 32
Comments - round 31
Comments - round 30
Comments - round 29
Comments - round 28
Comments - round 27
Comments - round 26
Comments - round 25
Comments - round 24
Comments - round 23
Comments - round 22
Comments - round 21
Comments - round 20
Comments - round 19
Comments - round 18
Comments - round 17
Comments - round 16
Comments - round 15
Comments - round 14
Comments - round 13
Comments - round 12
Comments - round 11
Comments - round 10
Comments - round 9
Comments - round 8
Comments - round 7
Comments - round 6
Comments - round 5
Comments - round 4
Comments - round 3
Comments - round 2
Comments - round 1.5
Comments - round 1
Nice Guys = BLEAH!
Nice Guys we can do without

And Still more comments from and about Nice Guys...

Date: Mon, 12 Jan 2004 00:51:28 -0500
From: gojodstergo@netscape.net
Subject: nice guys


Six months ago I would have read this and would have been pissed. Now I think you are right on. If you are a nice guy PAY ATTENTION to the article. There is nothing nice about nice guys. I should know I am a "nice guy". Maybe it would have helped if some one told your readers how one becomes a nice guy. This is not for sympathy , I don't want it , sympathy is for victims I can't allow myself to be a victim anymore. I grew up with a mother who was narcissistic as hell , she was also violent if we did not do every thing just perfect she would explode and beat us , kick us whip us and once tried to burn us alive in our house . I learned that being the perfect kid made her happy , the only problem is no one is perfect , so I learned to hide my mistakes , my emotions and I never grew up to be my own person. My father was , you guessed it, a nice guy. He never protected us and buried himself in his work . mother used to to tell me that all men are pigs bastards ass holes and I thought I would never want to be one of those guys. My grade one teacher was a grumpy old bitch who would beat me with rulers yardsticks or rubber belts just because I had a hard time sitting. I have ADHD and this was 1969 when they thought I was just being a brat. The male teachers were no better as two of them at different grade levels picked me up and smashed my head against the wall. I couldn't tell anyone this because I would get beat at home if mom found out. I learned that if I wanted the terror to end I had to be the nice guy and do every thin for everybody else and nothing for myself. So what is wrong with a "nice guy"? we are expert at hiding who we are , we are always are looking for someone to fix , we do nice things because we have learned that is safe and people like us. We really aren't nice in fact we do hate women , I'm not sure all women but our mothers and our girlfriends and our wives we hate Why? Because we are programmed to do things for women to make them love us and when they don't reciprocate the way we want we get resent full. we don't know what love is because we have never seen it. We are ashamed of who we are because our parents love only came if we were somebody else (the perfect kid). Do you know what the worst thing is ? My son is turning out just like me. There is no fucking way I am going to allow him to be like me . IT ENDS HERE. If any nice guys are reading this , or any women who are married to a nice guy please read No More Mr. Nice Guy by DR. Robert Glover , found here http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/search-handle-form/104-3611868-9625505 By the way the world has a lot more than just jerks and nice guys there are good men out there too.

Signed - A recovering nice guy,
Jody

From: "Philip Caballero" caba47@hotmail.com
Subject: Nice guy Syndrome
Date: Sun, 11 Jan 2004 05:34:28 +0000


Hello,

Was reading your nice guy articles, jesus you girls are heartless. Anyway, liked the stuff. I cant undersatnd why there are so many guys whinging about women, just get on with life and let it unfold.

I had problems in the past and realised that i was a whinging fool. Now i stand tall and proud and basically just be myself. I the way i see it is everyone has one life (obvious thing to say , i know), so just live it and take everything in your stride. Cheers,

Proud Scotsman.

Philip Caballero

From: "Lee Marsh"
Subject: Success story
Date: Tue, 6 Jan 2004 05:03:14 -0600


Thought I'd share a few success stories with you, that were inspired by your site.

I've had a few girlfriends before, and it never seemed to work out, and I could never figure out why. For a long time, I was into that self pitying bullshit, and although I was starting to break out of that when I first found your site, reading through some of the articles was just the kick in the arse that I needed. What I had failed to realize in the past was that I was falling into the 'nice guy' cliché. Although I was taken back by alot of your commentary on that shady figure, it made me realize just how desperately I needed to change. And change I did. Needless to say, things with me are better now.

But better yet, my friend. One night he was telling me about some of the girl troubles he was having, so I sent him a link to your site. To this day, that is known between us as the 'hyperlink that saved his ass'. Before reading your site, he was being a spineless 'nice guy' with his girlfriend, and she sure didn't appreciate that. After reading the site, they were able to develop into a healthy, happy relationship. Yay!

Well, just thought you would like to know, that there are people out there that know, not think, you're doing the world a service. <=============>
--Rich


From: Mark mspraker62@adelphia.net
Subject: What a cool site!
Date: Sun, 4 Jan 2004 14:51:10 -0500


I am a 42yr old male, separated for 9 months now and just getting back in to the dating scene again. I found your site whist looking for some information on "rescuer" syndrome and on being a "nice guy". I've only taken a cursory look thru your site at this point but it appears to have a lot of good information. Thanks.

PS - I have a job, 2 kids, hobbies, friends and have been on several dinner dates. I finally met someone that I was really attracted to and wanted to better understand myself and the feelings I was having. I am not so blind as to think that I don't have some issues and your site appears to have what I need to grow or at least be aware of some things I may be doing without realization. Bookmark?..oh yeah!

Thanks again,
Mark




Date: Fri, 19 Dec 2003 22:27:34
From: Jeff Smith grey_leader@yahoo.com

I was reading the nice guy article, and while I really wanted to disagree at first, there were a few things that hit too close to home. Thanks, I actually found it rather informative, and pretty much hit the problem dead on. It was good to see it from that point of view. later

From: "jen" nikstad@earthlink.net
Date: Fri, 12 Dec 2003


I just read "Geoff's" comments and while my response will do him no good, because there isn't a clue by four big enough, maybe some guy will read this and become enlightened. (ever the optimist)

I'm a tall girl (5' 9") and while I won't refuse to date someone shorter than myself, it seems that there is a fair percentage of vertically challenged men that suffer from "short man syndrome". You've met them... they have zero body fat, can bench press a truck, want to prove they are a "real" man on a daily basis. They want to protect us, even when there's nothing to protect us from, and while trying to prove that their height isn't an issue make it glaringly obvious that it's the only issue. They tend to be possessive, controlling and manipulative. This is the turnoff-- not the actual height. Women who run into in often enough will eventually maintain a minimum height requirement to avoid these men, and then the problem is the "shallowness of women" not the attitudes of the men.

So guys, macho isn't attractive or necessary. And if you happen to have short man syndrome and have been in a string of bad relationships, think about the kind of woman that would buy what you're advertising. The women worth having will just keep walking.

Jen N.



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