Things Women Should Never Say To A Naked Man
(Unless he deserves it...)
- Oh, it's so cute.
- I'm so sorry.
- I've smoked joints fatter than that.
- Who circumcised you?
- Why don't we just cuddle?
- You know they have surgery to fix that.
- You know, there's a tower in Italy like that.
- Can I paint a smiley face on that?
- Wow, and your feet are so big.
- My last boyfriend was 4" bigger.
- It's OK, we'll work around it.
- Eww, there's an inch worm on your thigh.
- Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
- Oh no, a flash headache!
- My 8-year-old brother has one like that.
- Let me go get my tweezers.
- How sweet, you brought incense!
- This explains your car.
- Are you one of those pygmies?
- All right! A treasure hunt!
- Why is God punishing you?
- But it still works, right?
- Do you take steroids?
- Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
- Let me know when you're done.
- Did you date Lorena Bobbitt?
- Aww, it's hiding.
- Are you cold?
- If you get me real drunk first.
- Is that an optical illusion?
- Were you neutered?
- It's a good thing you have so many other talents.
- Does it come with an air pump?
- Wow, some place to put my rings.
- Look, it fits my Barbie clothes!
- So this is why I'm supposed to judge people on personality.
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