Most CLUELESS letter of the week!
This came in the mail box for nominating "honorary" heartless bitches.
It was so good (read: Ludicrous) that we just HAD to share...
Subject: Pop Culture: honor
Name: Alvin Pinhead [of COURSE I changed the name, but this one's better, IMNSHO]
Email: someyahoo@yahoo.com
Category: honor
Title: me kind of
Artist: WELL IF I MAY EXPLAIN
[Please do, I'm all ears, but do you have to SHOUT?]
Reasons:
WELL, I AM A STUDENT WHO HAS BEEN FORCED TO TAKE A YEAR OFF.
[...*sigh* apparently he does have to shout...]
NO SYMPATHY REQUIRED I HAVE GOT OVER IT.
[clearly not far enough "over"]
ANY WAY TO GET BACK I NEED FUNDS. IN EXCHANGE FOR FUNDS I COULD WELL DO
WITH A HEARTLESS BITCH PREFERABLY WEALTHY WHO WOULD BENEFIT FROM
RESIDENCIAL STATUS ON AN OFFSHORE FINANCE CENTRE FOR THEIR OWN FINANCIAL
REASONS, THE IN EXCHANGE AND ON A PRENUPTUAL AGREEMENT BASIS FOR BOTH
ARTIES BENIFIT, IN THE EVENT THE HEARTLESS BITCH IN QUESTION FINDS ME
PHILANDERING AND SEEKS DIVORCE IN ORDER TO MARRY SOMEONE BETTER, THEY
WOULD HAVE TO MARRY ME, OF COURSE THEY COULD FIND SOME OTHER MUG WHO MIGHT
DO IT FOR NOTHING, HOWEVER, AS A DESPERATE STUDENT, RATHER THAN SELL MY
ARSE I HAVE DECIDED TO SELL THE FURNITURE, THE MARRAIGE WOULD BE REGISTRY
UNLESS THEY WANT THE REST, HOWEVER PAYMENT WOULD BE REQUIRED. I STRESS
THE IDEA WAS DUBIOUSLY SUGGESTED TO ME, AND WELL I AM NOT ALTOGETHER SURE
ABOUT IT, BUT IF IT MEANS GETTING BACK TO UNIVERSITY, WE COULD BE DIVORCED
BEFORE I GRADUATE.
IF YOU KNOW ANY HEARTLESS BITCHES WHO WOULD BE INTO THIS I WOULD MOST
APPRECIATE IF YOU WOULD HELP US GET IN CONTACT
YOURS FAITHFULLY,
[Bwahahahahahahah! This goes right in the "withoutaclue" bin. Perhaps he should try over at
www.stupidrichnimwits.com]
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