A Compendium of hurl-worthy comments and experiences from the readers of Heartless Bitches International

• Calling some anti-abortion activists "pro-life" even when they support capital punishment, euthanasia, and war makes me want to puke. There is a big difference between being against abortion and being consistently pro-life. It's obvious that the main concern of many anti-abortionists is not the sanctity of human life, but instead winning some political or social victory. That, or they are blindly following moral rhetoric and never considered the chasm between being anti-abortion while ignoring or even supporting other policies of death.

  The assumption that because I don't fit your ideal of beauty that I have nothing to offer you in a relationship. Women who NEED men and vice versa. We'll see how many dates I get after this little remark, but boyfriends (and, for that matter, girlfriends) are like spinner rims. Nice, but not necessary. Think about it. Spinner rims aren't essential for the car's function, nor do they help it perform better. (In fact, they may create drag and thus make it less efficient.) In the same way, having an S.O. is not necessary to your survival. Nor does it make you "better" than someone who isn't in a relationship. Focus on yourself, making yourself whole, and when you do find someone, it's someone who's complementary, NOT supplementary. Being labelled a slut if I choose to participate in any sexual activity, and being labelled a frigid, ball-busting, prude if I choose not to. Need I say more? Girls who do anal, then claim they are still virgins because their hymens are still intact. Um, no. He still went in. Granted, he went in through the back door, but he still went in. The belief that "if you aren't Christian, you're damned." Um, what about those good non-Christians out there? They're good people; and good people are supposed to go to Heaven, right? Additionally, I know a good many atheists who behave in a more Christian manner and live a more meaningful, purposeful life than some Christians do! Where does that leave them? "God hates f@gs" and all that nonsense. You know what God hates? Ignorant people who judge others and harm them for being different. People who abandon their friends in favor of spending time with a significant other, especially when they come crawling back expecting their abandoned friends to help them cope with a breakup or something. I thought I wasn't as significant as your significant other. Having to defend the music and other stuff I like because "it's not white". Since when did liking something have to be racially justified? I am not "trying to be black" or any of that crap. I'm simply listening to music I like. It may not be "white music," but so what? The important thing is I like it. Twelve-year-old girls in the locker room discussing the performance of oral sex on their boyfriends or crushes. And the twelve-year-old boys in their locker room boasting about receiving such treatment. People who look with disdain and/or pity on me for being single. BIG PUKE!!! The idea that someone can't be both physically attractive and a smart, deep-thinking individual. I've known plenty of beautiful women and men, who get good grades, speak and write with good grammar, and are extensively knowledgeable about art, science, philosophy, and all sorts of stuff. Parents and teachers who don't inform their kids about sex except to say "Don't do it" and then wonder why teen birth rates in the U.S. are higher than they've been in the last 14 years. People who call themselves tolerant and open-minded, yet criticize someone else's religion or lifestyle or sexual orientation or whatever. How superficial rap music has gotten in the past decade or so. There were intelligent rappers out there. Now I guess everyone's forgotten about everything except "money, clothes, and hoes." Yeah, the rhythm is fun to dance to, but lyrically it gets old, and has nothing to offer. What mind-opening message do you get from "supersoak that ho"? Just what I thought. Fanbases where intelligent discussion and fun are replaced with heated, slug-fest arguments over which characters are paired with which characters. 13-year-olds with the Playboy logo emblazoned on their T-shirts. Do they even know what that seemingly innocent rabbit connotes? Girls who think they have to downplay their intelligence because smart girls intimidate guys. If you ask me, someone who truly is intimidated by someone else's intelligence is lacking in neurons himself. (For the record, most of the guys I know like smart girls much more than some bimbo.) Guys who feel that doing dumb things impresses girls. Childish antics and half-witted insults (meant of course as backhanded compliments) don't impress. Grow some balls and try a new strategy. Like treating her with respect, showing interest in her, and being thoughtful. Not doing something you saw on "Jackass" or calling out crude comments to prove yourself. People who believe you're ignorant and superficial just because you don't do the whole "emo" thing. Let me ask this: who's more superficial? The person who freely expresses himself/herself but doesn't dwell on it and leads a normal life, or the so-called emo who writes depressing poetry even though he/she is neither depressed nor living a sucky life and makes every effort to dress, act, and think emo and of course put down those who don't? Further, it just makes those with legitimate depression and legitimate problems look bad. Cliques that are so rigid with what the members must wear, do, and behave like that you'd think that the people who define the breed standards for the AKC or UKC dog shows came up with them! People who bitch at you during a formal dinner for inadvertently picking up the wrong fork. Who has worse manners? The one who picks up the wrong fork, or the one who picks on him/her for it? I rest my case. Parents who blame Cookie Monster's eating habits for their kids' eating habits. Alright, who buys the food for the household? Who stores it and decides what and how much to give the kids? Who makes dinner at night? Not Cookie Monster. (Oh, excuse me. Carrot Monster. >_<) Take responsibility for your kids, for Christ's sake! (Or rather, for the kids' sake!) If you don't want fat kids, teach them good eating habits yourself, and explain why one can't live on cookies alone. People who read too much into such innocuous things. A 4-year-old does not see Bert & Ernie as gay. (Whether they are or not.) Trust me, he or she simply sees two people that live together. Heck, they don't even know what gay *is*! And I have yet to meet Harry Potter fans who practice witchcraft because of Harry Potter. Bible-thumpers. No, it doesn't contain ALL the answers. No, it doesn't justify rudeness and hatred to other religions or to homosexuals or anyone else. And no, it is not meant to be utilized as a science textbook! Kevin Federline..he's such a poser. Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton. I don't care what they do. I have other things to worry about. For example, how to help my family cover my college tuition. And how to pass my tough chemistry test. How other women are so judgmental. Why are we so insecure that we feel the need to judge someone as threatening or trashy or what have you and put her down to build us up? Why the drama? Men (and women) who abandon a long-term partner (especially behind said partner's back) in favor of someone younger, more physically attractive, and more "interesting." As if the love of your life can be replaced as easily as a lightbulb! Doctors who assume that a patient is "just stressed" because she's a working mom/a woman of a certain age/etc. and really she's got a tumor or other serious problem. People who say "it's OK for men to cheat on their wives because they're biologically programmed to do so." Yes, humans do have a biological component. But we also have rational and emotional components too. To say otherwise is the old "boys will be boys" excuse in another form. Those other components can be used to override the temptation using consideration/common sense, or what we call "conscience". (Hmm...if I sleep with her, my wife will feel hurt, and I could contract an STD...) And the MEN in my experience lack neither consideration for others nor common sense. Nor do these MEN lack the ability to take responsibility for their thoughts, words, and actions. On that note, a guy who believes he can sleep around, but if a girl does the same, then she's a slut. Last I checked, it takes two to tango... The assumption that all women are racing against their ticking biological clock, in a rush to get married and/or have babies. Not all do. A few that do don't mean all do. The idea that you need to use alcohol and/or drugs to truly have a good time. It's OK in moderation, but since when is getting blind drunk and waking up hung over a good time? Since when is holding back your friend's hair while she pukes a good time? Or having a good friend die because he was DUI? Or finding embarrassing photos of you acting stupid under the influence posted all over the Web? Or being arrested for underage drinking, or disorderly conduct or illegal drug possession? And what's the point of going out with your friends if you don't remember the fun you had? If deciding that fun times with friends should be a fun memory and not a nauseous blur makes me boring and anti-social, then so be it.

• The so-called "natural" freakazoids come in the store--since when were bathing and shampooing unnatural but tattooing, scarification, patchouli, and tongue/eyebrow/cheek/lip rings *natural*? Hell, I wouldn't mind giving them unnatural with a firehose. Worse than that, it drives off customers.

• Misuse of religious texts to justify any form of violence, mistreatment or systematic hatred. Most religious texts tend to be misogynistic, racist, homophobic and confusing when taken literally, but these tend to be small sections of lesser importance. A tip: use your own mind and read them in greater detail before you strap a bomb to yourself, raid an abortion clinic or abuse a homosexual! When did a loving, forgiving God ever say he wanted that?

• Fake Lesbians -the women who blame alcohol or drugs for why they ended up having sex with another woman, or worse, the ones who do it to "put on a show" to get male attention. Here's an idea... how about developing an interesting personality that guys might notice? How about trying to have REAL chemistry with a guy instead of playing lesbian for him?

• I wanna puke when I am out by myself, say on the subway, and there is a girl (‘woman’ is too mature a classifier for such tawdry behaviour) hanging off her boyfriend like a parasite and she catches her boyfriend obviously checking you out and she gives YOU the dirtiest look like you’re about to steal her knuckle-dragging ‘host’ instead of confronting him directly. Why? Why this kind of hostility? Oh yeah, it’s because she needs him to live, as any good parasite knows, and it’s easier to blame the ‘competition’.

• I also wanna puke when a similar pairing are walking down the street, riding the subway/bus, etc. and the girl looks at you, then grips tightly to her boyfriend and gives you a look of pity, assuming that you must be single because you’re alone and staring at them in disgust at the sheer co-dependence of it all. Instead, I’M the one looking at her with pity since I enjoy having the confidence to go out alone and seldom think twice about enlisting “accompaniment” so I won’t look “pathetic”. I feel sad for these girls because there is a part of them, somewhere deep inside them that wishes she had the conviction to walk alone and believe in herself while doing so - [SIGH].

• A whole classroom worth of female college freshman, who outnumber their male counterparts by about 4 to 3, who don't speak up when asked to discuss a documentary about how the media subjects women and perpetrates violence against women for Sociology 101. Why is it only the men, and OF COURSE the second-year dyke in the corner, the only ones willing to discuss in-class about what it does to the self esteem of females, of any age. How it makes rape seem erotic, like women are responsible for bringing it on themselves. How their nerve-dead new tits aren't an ideal, to anyone. Come on, girls, you're in college now. Grow thehell up. Get a fucking voice.

• An online poster proposing overpopulation solutions said, "For example, if we were to somehow forcibly sterilize all but 1000 women on this planet, our population problem would be solved, at least for the next several thousand years." Whattaya say we sterilize that asshole? He's pretty glib and conscienceless about violating individuals so long as they're women. If we're going to violate people, might as well sterilize the men; they're the ones doing the impregnating. Bonus: That ignoranus wouldn't reproduce.

• Women, well, girls really, who flip their hair at me. I never learned this particular behavior. Is it an "I'm the prettiest" contest? A girly competition? Like the girl in Peanuts, with "my naturally curly hair"? Their jealousy and hatred toward a passing stranger? Do they sense that they could out-asshole me but not out-reason me? Or is it a greeting on the planet they're from? A sign that they are threatened if someone has healthy enough self-esteem to to dress up slightly? Not even cleavage or leg or makeup, which is anyone's individual choice, but a pantsuit or hat. Or maybe I hold my head too high, or don't check them out enough, or don't flip my hair, or don't play the game? It puzzles me, and I'm not interested in that shitty game.

• The high-end Right-to-Lifer who emphatically believes in the sanctity of unborn life yet refuses to help babysit or assist with care of his autistic, down syndrome grandchild because the child is "kinda gross to look at and take care of." So, you can't cope with people who are already living IN YOUR FAMILY and have health problems beyond there control? Before crusading the "unborn innocent," suck it up and show some compassion for the living innocent, you tongue-swallowing fuck-wit.

• This bleeping society of ours (the sum total of every single one of us) who reduce quality to "does it please me now" and, through a game of "I won't inconvenience you if you don't inconvenience me" sneaks away from moral responsibility. WHAT moral responsibility? You name it. We're all awayyyy.. We can't be bothhherrred.

• Mothers try to compete with other mothers through their children. Are their lives so incomplete that they have to use their own kids to hide their own insecurities as a parent?

• Men with bad hygiene: He never buys any clothes; his underwear is old; he stays out all night, even when he has worked all day (construction) and did not take a shower. And he expects his spouse to still find him attractive. Ugh.

• Atheists who assume that because I'm a Christian, I must be close-minded and intolerant to everyone else, yet they go around and push their opinions on others about how Christians are delusional and need to stop believing in fairy tales.

• Teenagers who start dressing up emo, label themselves as bisexual and stop believing in God, then constantly complain about how they're oh-so-persecuted because they're in the minority.

• White high school boys who dress up like 50 cent and call themselves "pimps".

• People who think that it's YOUR fault that you were raped, because they're ONLY sticking a part of their body you. "Oh, you should have punched and kicked them when you had the chance! Or you could've just sat there and enjoyed it!" Fuckers.

• The butchering of the Spanish language in the media.

• Teenage girls who think they're sexier and better than everyone else because their ancestors spoke the "sexy" and "seductive" languages (Spanish, Italian, Greek, Japanese, etc.) and yet fail miserably in attempts to speak the language correctly.

• People who get their undies in a bunch when they find out you're 16 years old and a virgin. Same with people who, upon meeting you, ask questions such as "are you a virgin?".

• Advertisements for hair products such as Rogaine. I can't stand that underlying assumption that if you're balding, you must be completely unattractive and have no self-confidence. I'm balding and I've accepted it. It's a part of aging, and it definitely does not mean that I'm unattractive. Anyone who does judge me based on the fact that I am balding is not worth getting to know anyway.

• People who compare and liken their self-induced trivial dramas (like gaining 10 lbs) to other people's genuine issues and concerns (like a family member falling ill).

• Women who are sweet and placating to a person's face, but then rip on that person behind their back.

• Women who participate in attempts to tear other women down and back biting rather than supporting each other and accepting our individual uniqueness.

• People who try to change people to make them 'grow', when really all they want is that person to be what *they* want them to be.

• That the people who have enough self-questioning to ask "Am I being unreasonable"? usually mostly aren't. But the ones who never ask this ARE manipulative assholes. I guess part of being an asshole is never, ever thinking that YOU are one.

• Anyone who says, "They burned witches in old Salem." You pathetic idiot. They killed and tortured PEOPLE in Old Salem.

• The guy who asked if I was gay because I was wearing a pink shirt. I honestly don't care if anyone things I'm gay, I just find the gay jokes to be juvenile. You'd think people would grow out of that by their late 20s.

• Sexist, ageist, insecure morons who assume not only that size, age and sex dictate your ability to do a job, but that somehow their own age or sex, regardless of their experience in the field, makes them your superior and not your co-worker.

• People claiming to be VERY empathetic. Can you feel me roll my inner eyes as you speak?

• How women are still seen as the creators of original sin and men the purveyors of iniquity

• Men that are jocular up front and cowards at heart. Women that validate them with their stupidity

• Women who insult you using the typical "I’m sorry, but _____, lol." What are you sorry about, are you going to insult me or what? Just fucking insult me. Grow up...lol.

• You know what makes me puke? The culture of fear which tells a woman who lives alone that if she's unfortunate enough to go out on a couple of dates with a guy whom she discovers to be a clingy, needy sicko, then she better tread really softly trying to get rid of him. "He could stalk you, rape you, kill you and your cat!" Gee, thanks. Said clinging vine guy is also rather pukeworthy, particularly when it takes several attempts to dump him because he didn't get the message the last time: "You don't want to go out with me? How about we just be friends?" Friends, sure, whatever, just don't try to stick your tongue down my throat the next time I happen to see you and get all put out when I remind you that you don't get to do that.

• That losing baby weight has become a community spectator sport. Not only is Hollywood media obsessed with whether or not actresses lose baby weight, but now the general masses seem to have joined forces in haranguing every pregnant woman into losing baby weight. "Oh, she'll lose the baby weight", "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll lose the baby weight." Why so concerned? My God, is anyone remotely interested in whether the mother, or even (*gasp*) the baby are healthy? And unfortunately, pregnant women are succumbing to these pressures and taking every precaution to keep their weight down instead of focusing on just being healthy. As if pregnant women don't have enough stress in their lives.

• In the UK, single teen girls who get themselves purposely knocked up so they get a free council house. (Out of taxpayers' pockets, of course!) And they get to cut in line in front of everyone else waiting to get a house too, just because they accomplished the amazing feat of squeezing a baby out of their uterus and being unable to afford it. And they know full well that more unfathered kids they fire out, the more money they'll get. That's their incentive right there to live an easy life of dependency.

  Basically, these young women are being rewarded in an enormous way for being irresponsible, and encouraged to never do anything with their lives except sit around and make babies, despite the fact this is, in fact, 2006. It curdles my blood!

  Not only that, they will pass on their "values" of leeching off benefits to their exponentially growing number of offspring, creating an ever increasing burden on the system.

• Women who are being physically or emotionally abused, will complain and cry about how bad things are to anyone who will listen, but if someone tells them to leave their abuser, they say, "But I LOVE him," or "But I know he loves me and will change." Some of these women are my co-workers, and hearing them whine about their situations day in and day out without doing anything to change their drama-filled lives makes me want to puke. Maybe that would shut them up for awhile.

• The idea that just because you're against the Patriot Act or the war in Iraq, you're "un-patriotic".

• People who think married couples keeping separate financial accounts is strange.

• People who end their emails and/or voicemails with "have a blessed day". Yeah, and I hope you have a hellish day.

• Adult emotional victims and people who fail to plan ahead. You get no concessions from me, dumbass. Personal responsibility is your friend.

• The "Greatest Generation" and the sense of entitlement a lot of those folks seem to have. Wow, you lived through and contributed to history. That's what I'm doing too.

• The sorry state of our veteran's hospitals.

• Celebrities on their soap-boxes. I don't care what you think about anything, just shut up and act.

• My Mother-In-Law's opinion that Post Partum Depression was something I brought on myself because I didn't want to take care of my new baby. Fucking idiot.

• People who call respect and equality for women, gays, non-caucasians, non-christians, etc, being "politically correct". First of all, respect for anyone period is not being "politically correct", it's just that. Common, decent, deserved, RESPECT. Second of all, respect has *nothing* to do with politics whatsoever, it's an innate human thing. Thirdly, because of the recent craze about being "politically correct" in the sense of being overly censored and not telling it like it is, and the subsequent backlash, affiliating common respect with political correctness now makes it look like respect for women, gays, non-caucasians, non-christians, etc, is just a "new-age" fad and not to be taken seriously. This is dangerous thinking.

• "Political correctness" itself. Urgh. What's wrong with the simple truth??

• People who excuse their own incompetence by devaluing the quality at which they are incompetent. Lousy at grammar and spelling? "Oh, I don't think it matters whether you spell a word right; what matters is that I get the point across." (Poor logic and nonfactual, by the way.) Not literate or articulate? "Who gives a fuck?" Don't even *try* to remember anyone's name other than their own? "Oh, I'm terrible at names." Too fuckin' stupid to roust their ass out of bed and leave home early enough to allow for normal variable traffic conditions? "Oh, I'm sorrreeee, if I didn't speed, tailgate and run lights this morning, I wouldn't have made it to work on time." (You're sorry, all right.) I'd tell them to stop making excuses for themselves and take some responsibility, but, well, they're too busy making excuses and evading responsibility to listen.

• In the 70s a young police science student said, "People who drive large wide vehicles should be ticketed for any small infraction; other drivers can't see around them." He is still right. Just because five out of six asses on the road now drive Humongeros doesn't make it excusable. Popularity of idiocy doesn't make it less idiotic.

• That none of the Humongero vans on the road are carefree-looking, hippie-like camper vans with beds - they're all domesticated soccer-mommy jobs with enough seats for a whole litter of offspring.

• Overpopulation. Popularity of idiocy doesn't make it less idiotic.

• People who drop litter, cigarette ashes and trash. It's not trivial - it takes an asshole to think, "The world can clean up after me."

• The fact that so many men aren't attracted to pubic hair anymore? Is it just me or is there something seriously wrong when signs of sexual maturity are considered a turn off?

• Self-righteous Anti-feminist women who believe women should have cookie-cutter lives and basically worship their husbands and boyfriends.

• Cat-calls. If you want to say something to me, cross the damn street and say it to my face motherfucker.

• Fashion Magazines, they're funny as hell to read but I die a little inside whenever I see someone take Seventeen magazine's advice

• The overwhelming amount of make-up, cosmetic and general appearance-improving products in ads today. And the fact that they're pretty much ALL for women. The fact that, despite how we are all "fine just the way we are" and that "life as a REAL woman is just so great isn't it??", they're also trying to hook in with these affirmations the hidden message that our "real" selves should also be dolling ourselves up and doing our damndest to ensure that we are physically flawless, because the truth is, to "them", THAT'S what "life as a real woman" is all about. To that, I say NAY!!!!!!!

• The presence of make-up in general. I mean, using the stuff for effect is one thing, but when you think about it, doesn't it strike you as a bit fucking WEIRD that women so commonly plaster on "facial improving" products for EVERYDAY wear?!? Or for that matter, the fact that they feel the need to do this at all? So what, is society (or more specifically the media) trying to tell us that women are too UGLY to show their faces in public without slathering on a mask?? ("You mean, she DOESN'T wear make-up? Why the hell not??" "I'll tell you why, because she has a fucking FACE, isn't that enough?!?") In my opinion, it's an insult to our gender and we should boycott it until those poor cosmetic peddlers get used to seeing what women's faces REALLY look like..... *heh*

• The fact that despite feeling this way, even *I* don't even dare go out in public without make-up (it's a habitual security thing which I've been doing since I was a pre-teen). I'm currently weaning myself off the stuff....

• That in ANY movie I've ever seen in which features a guy saves a girl, literally or metaphorically, it's almost like an unwritten law that she has to show her gratitude by putting out at some point later on or an end-of-movie kiss at the very least (they always "hook up" in some way). This is almost symbolic of our underlying attitudes that women are obligated to repay men for ANY "selfless" favours by gratifying them, usually in a sexual way. So a guy can't do a favour for a girl just "to be helpful" anymore...? (The most recent example being Sin City (a really sexist film overall) in which the little girl rescued from a pervert grows up into a hot stripper who wants nothing more than to shag her hero because she's so grateful to him). Naturally.

  Let's just momentarily set aside the fact that the strong MAN always rescuing the weak WOMAN is such a common film practice anyway...

• Text-speak. Now I understand that shortening words while texting can be a time-saver, but this form of "language" is starting to move out of actual texting and into everyday communication. Loads of song titles already show up this trend (usually the bland and incoherent kind of songs but nevermind...). Maybe I'm just old fashioned, but even though I realise that language changes over time, it's a bit of a scary thought that even future novels could soon read like 3am drunken text messages. We should keep language alive!

  Ok, so I think it's just peachy that larger women are becoming more "accepted" into society. But don't you think it's taking the idea just a *tad* too far when the media now blatantly CONDEMNS slim women? And the endless quotes of how "skinny girls suck" and "thin is OUT".... Just as there are lots of "horizontally gifted" women (like myself), there are also lots of *naturally* slim women who probably DON'T appreciate being made to feel shitty about their bodies like their bigger counterparts before them. Don't you people see?? This is still DISCRIMINATION of the body, whether you're in the "skinnies" OR the "fatties" camp! How about NOT verbally dissecting our bodies at all??

• "Newspapers" with page 3 models. You should see some of the themes they have - "here is an innocent young girl, just come of age - getting her tits out JUST FOR YOU!!" alongside some poor bint grimacing at the camera with uncomfortably large looking boobs. Do these girls HAVE no self-respect??? Do their readers HAVE no brains besides the one in their pants (which is apparently permanently switched on the id (instant gratification) mode... "I need a wank with my morning newsbites"). At least confine that stuff to magazines which actually *specialise* in porn, and keep it out of our newspapers please. Last I heard, it was for NEWS.

• The fact that, living in a democracy, the main deciding factor in voting nowadays seem to be; which candidate is the LEAST likely to wreck the "system" even more.

• That people in general in this country seem to have forgotten how to eat with a bit of common sense. It couldn't be MORE simple. Stick to fresh natural foods, and try to lay off the unhealthy stuff. It's like we just can't get our minds around this. No! There simply HAS to be a way to be healthy and thin whilst stuffing our faces with crappy fast food and being lazy arses! This is the 21st century after all!!! Uhhhh, no. Fraid not. We're human and we need certain materials to survive. This should be *instinctive*.

• Pro Lifers who are under the mistaken belief that teaching abstinence (and abstinence alone) will somehow curb abortion rates. Believe me, people are not having sex simply because abortions and contraceptives are available to them.

• They also seem to be under the assumption that Sex Education means teaching young people how to bump uglies instead of educating them on the real consequences of sex as well as what is happening to them physically and emotionally.

• People who believe that being a non-conformist means you have to dress up in wacky, punked out clothes just like them. Don't get me wrong, I'm a fan of offbeat fashions. But at the end of the day, it's still fashion. Spending all your money on your image does not make you different, smart or interesting.

• People who don't seem to understand that most of us have to work for our money and actually pay for our own food, clothing and education. I once had a discussion with a guy who had the nerve to tell me I care too much about money when I told him that I worked 2 jobs. Um, when you don't have money you care about it a lot, moron!

• People who mistake being a loudmouth asshole for being opinionated and strong minded. No, there is a difference. And just because you speak your mind louder and more obnoxiously than everyone else, doesn't make it any better or any more right. (That means you Ann Coulter.)

• Women who think they have to consume a mere 1,000 calories in order to lose fat or who believe that lifting anything over a 5lb dumbbell will make them huge. Stop watching those stupid miracle diet commercials and educate yourself about real nutrition and fitness. This includes the people who don't make the connection that once a diet ends, the weight will return.

• People who abandon cats make my very soul puke. People who even think in terms of "getting rid of" a cat. That is so inhuman - in comparison to mere socially deficient assholes - that it is almost too strong a subject for the Pukefest column. It is heinous. It is unforgivable. Scum who do this make other people miserable, as well, not just the animals. The people they make miserable, many of them volunteers, are trying to rectify the results of these crimes against life, by rescuing, feeding, spaying and neutering, and of course euthanizing. The scummy types who abandon an animal because they're moving to a smaller place, or it damages furniture, ought to drop some of their children off at an orphanage or someone's doorstep - that would also save valuable furniture, and they could certainly move into a smaller place more easily! If you ever wondered if you are having an effect and making your mark on the world, you are. You cause suffering to animals, and a lot of pain to responsible people who don't have a pet or child until they know they can take care of it for the necessary duration.

• The lemming-like rush to glorify mothers, single or otherwise. I have a degree in women's studies, and am pro-choice on anything that doesn't violate others' rights. A choice is everyone's right in the variety of people and human experience, whether your choices are good or stupid ones. Even stupidly made choices are your right, including squeezing out some babies even when you didn't plan your own life very well. Even when your own life is a lousy example of human excellence. That doesn't stop them from being stupid. But a trend toward single mothers of lemming proportions shows something else at work besides what you so self-flatteringly call "choice". If we truly were becoming more accepting of women, then ALL of women's choices would be equally accepted. There would be a concomitant increase in acceptance of never-married, single women. (They are not all gay, or all straight, but as varied as all people.) Instead of just benefits for single mothers, there would also be benefits for women who were intelligent enough to avoid having any children. How about it, corporate America? Government agencies? You have benefits for nonsmokers, why not for non-reproducers? (Calling child-free people "selfish" is like George Orwell's 1984 calling the war department the Ministry of Peace.) Instead of universal acceptance, I see what Nancy Friday called "the glorification of mommyhood". I see the militant mommy brigade. Yes, that is their choice; I do not see the same acceptance or support of other choices.

• American dog owners. They are now angry at a nearby county for (gasp) making it illegal for them to disturb others with their dogs' continuous barking. You don't suppose these same ones deplore how rude society has become? They want off-leash parks, but then they violate the leash laws and no-dog laws in the other parks. They want it both ways - as long as it's their way. Bellingham, Washington's dog bakery closed - Anchorage and Seattle probably aren't that fortunate yet - but the newspaper ran an article on dog manicures, and the people that had obscenely WAY too much money probably still do. Way too much worship of dogs and owners in this country. Some nice people do carry shit bags, but many other dogs have two assholes: their own and their owner.

• When my boyfriend recently broke up with me, I told him that his chance was over and that I was going to move on. He told me that it wasn't fair to put a limit on "True Love". Excuse me??? I CAN put a limit on true love and I CAN put a limit on my tolerance for his shit!

Copyright© Heartless Bitches International (heartless-bitches.com) 2005, All Rights Reserved

Pause your cursor over each link below for a more detailed description

Want to link to HBI?

  Want to know when we update? Subscribe to our "What's New" RSS Feed

(What is an RSS Feed?)

Get SharpReader - our favorite RSS aggregator - it's free!

If you don't have a Newsreader, you can subscribe to updates via email: