(Updated: July 25, 2005)
A Compendium of hurl-worthy comments and experiences from the
readers of Heartless Bitches International
Women who become pregnant because they missed a pill or the condom
broke, and then act as though their impending offspring is the Second
Coming of Christ.
ASSVertising. I coined this term for girls wearing words emblazoned
across their asses. When your left cheek is up, it says "HILLcrest", and
the next second it says "hillCREST". Or "HILrest" and "hilREST", if a
few letters slipped through the crack and got creased into invisibility.
Either way it is not sexy.
People who think that because I'm good friends with a
girl, I must either be sleeping with her or trying to
sleep with her. It bothers me even more when these
people accuse me of being too shy to ask her out.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with a man and a
woman being just friends.
When I tell people I'm interested in working for a
nonprofit organization and they tell me I'm crazy
because I won't make much money. NOBODY works for
nonprofits to make money.
People who think there's something wrong with me
because I won't sleep with a woman after just meeting
her.
People who think that because I'm going on a date with
someone (and a first date I might add) think that I'm
going to end up in a relationship with that person, or
have sex with them. When I ask someone out for
coffee, I'm asking for just that. I am not asking,
"Would you like to have a committed relationship with
me at this particular time?"
George W. Bush. Need I say more?
People who think I'm crazy not to sleep with my female
roommates. There's a lot to be said for having a
nice, peaceful living environment.
Couples who fight all the time, break up for a while,
get back together again, fight all the time, break up
again for a while, over and over again. If it didn't
work out the first 10 times, it will probably never
work out.
People who, on the generally weird day called Women's Day (a communist
invention popular here in Poland), wish me things like "I hope you find yourself a real man
who'll make you happy" or even "I hope you find yourself a strong guy who will tone
you down a bit." Oh, sure, because I dare to have strong opinions and
the guts to actually voice them despite everybody assuming that I'm just
a small cute blonde (don't even make me start on the small and cute
stereotype, or any other stereotype), I definitely must have a strong,
hidden, need for a powerful "manly man" and lack of such a persona is
the deepest tragedy and saddest thing of my whole existence.
Men who treated me like dog excrements when I was overweight - damn it,
downright fat - and now, after meeting me during a party and seeing my
new, improved, much lighter self (and I didn't do it for the guys, but
due to the subtle hints from my physician concerning the health risks)
suddenly changing their attitude. Yes, I know I look good. And that you
are superficial jerk who judges people by the appearance solely, too.
Apparently the pounds I lost went straight into my brain and made me
suddenly so much more interesting... and one of them even tried to
convince me later that what counts is inner beauty. Probably only the
one that is projected on the outside, or, preferably, weren't ever
inside at all.
"IT" girls. They do the same things, they sing about the same things,
and they make same damn movies. When will it end?
Parents who go on talk shows and claim
they have no control over their child and need to send them to "boot camp". One mother stated how her 8 year
old daughter was out of control because she wore skimpy clothes and
dressed like a little hoochie. Well, why was she allowed to appear on
the talk show dressed just like her mother stated? Who the hell is
buying her clothes? WHO IN THE HELL IS THE GROWN-UP?
Parents who allow their children to get out of control like
that are the ones who need to be sent to boot camp, not the kids.
Other women that throw me a backhanded compliment about my figure. Yeah,
I'm trim....because I ROW. It's a sport! It's not my problem that your
self esteem is wrapped up in the size of your ass. Tell me again how
"easy" it is for me to be skinny and I'll throw you into a boat and you
can see just how "easy" it is. I'm an athlete, getting skinny is a
by-product and NOT the goal. Get some goals of your own and find out
what by-products you get from that. Don't tell me that it's "easy".
Pulling for 10K at a 30 stroke rate and trying to lower your split time
5 days a week is FAR from easy. Rowing in ice is not "easy". Training is
not "easy". Sitting on your ass wishing you looked different may be
sick, but it sure is "easy".
Lazy persons who didn't bother learning English in high school and expect me
not to use English words during a conversation in French (my first language)
because they can't understand. Get a life, look around you a bit and see
that we live in Québec. We have TWO main languages here. On the same note,
people who think that because I read books in English, watch English TV and
don't hate people living in Ontario it automaticaly means that I don't like
my french-canadian origins and don't encourage my culture. You watch the
same shows and read the same books, they are just translated, the money goes
to the same place.
Guys that think that simply because I like to wear short skirts, they
have the right to put their hand on my leg. If you do that, buddy,
you're likely to lose your nuts. Same goes for guys I don't know who put
their hands on my breasts.
Mama Gena and her goddess philosphy that encourages women to be vain,
shallow spoiled brats that believe men should be "trained" to serve your
every whim. I bet if it was the other way around, she'd be labeled a
sexist.
People who don’t bother to check the other side of the story before they take sides in an argument/protest/political policy, then look at me like I’m a freak when I say, “I don’t really know enough about that subject to have an opinion about it”.
People that think being single at 21 is a illness which should be cure, and try to set me up with any male they come across, then question my sexuality when I say that I just want to stay single for a while, because I want a bit of time to figure out who I am on my own, not who I am as someone’s girlfriend.
People with an over-inflated sense of entitlement who protest loudly that the world "owes" them, and everyone else is expected to do it for them.
Whenever I mention that I'm going to temple or I'm visiting my family
for Hanukkah, people ask me "Are you Jewish?". Does anyone whenever you
mention to them that you go to church or are visitng your family for
Christmas say "Are you Christian?". One of these days I'm going to
sarcastically say "No. I'm Muslim."!
The fact that the American public was dumb enough to re-elect Wubya
after all the damage he has done to the economy, women's rights, and gay
rights. When America goes to Hell in a handbasket, I'll be living in
Canada.
Those absolutely inane ads for pads and tampons that compare a woman on her period to a baby in diapers (including the ever so juvenile and untrue implied problem of "smell") As if it wasn't bad enough to have to bust down all the other "unclean" and or pseudo religious mark of original sin bullshit
When I tell a guy straight I’m not interested, or better yet, to fuck off, and
according to his ego; I secretly want him but (Oh I love this)... I’m 'playing
hard to get'. You see, it’s a tactic *I’m* using to draw *him*. It couldn’t
possibly have anything to do with the fact that he’s a shallow sleazy asshole or
anything?
Women (mostly other peoples' mothers) who say that there is no ideal weight, go on about how important it is that you're comfortable, and then turn around and say that I'm unhealthy because I'm slim or tell me that I'm "anorexic" because I'm not chubby.
People who get angry when I am proud of my accomplishments or say something like "It's just EASY for you" when I get better marks than them/am slimmer than they are/raise enough money (MYSELF) to go on vacation/are better at ANYTHING than they are. WHAT THE FUCK do you think I was doing when you were off getting wasted? Studying! How about when you were sitting on the couch looking at a BLANK T.V. screen? Training! How about when you were complaining about how Mommy and Daddy couldn't pay for the airline tickets? I WAS WORKING MY ASS OFF!!!
The fact (pointed out by John Stewart) that although Jesus preached love, peace, acceptance and turning the other cheek, more people have died in his name than in anyone else's, and that INCLUDES Hitler.
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