A Compendium of hurl-worthy comments and experiences from the readers of Heartless Bitches International

• Men who expect you to trust them right away. If you actually say this, you are either retarded or a manipulative bastard. Either way, I don't want to know you. Trust has to be earned. And no, I'm not paranoid...you're just a moron.

• Anyone using netspeak. Ultimate litmus test for idiocy.

• Faux-concern for those in a difficult situation aka a smug sense of superiority masquerading as sympathy.

• People who TELL you what you are going through. You are not a therapist, I didn't ask for your half-baked analysis.

• Men who continue to wheedle you after you SAY you are not interested. And who then make excuses based on race or culture. Don't flatter yourself: I'm not prejudiced, I just don't find YOU attractive.

• Women that claim you as their BESTFRIENDOMGZ11 as a manipulative tactic.

• People who accuse you of being angry. How dare you have an emotion!

• People who refer to depression and self-injury as "emo". Way to flaunt your ignorance by minimizing legitimate mental illnesses. I think I'm going to believe the entire medical community over brain-dead teenagers, thanks.

• People who insult you, then justify it by saying it's their opinion. No shit, Sherlock. It's still rude and out of line.

• Anyone who claims a man can "compromise" with a woman on whether to have an abortion or not. How about we compromise on his kidneys? I mean, he only needs one, right? And the other kidney could save a life!

• Sitcom/cartoon dads who treat their daughters like second class citzens at best, or shit at worst. What's funny about being mean to your own kid?

• Anti-feminsts who look down on\demonize working women despite having jobs themselves. Yes, Lynn Johnston, I'm looking at you.

• Married women who tell us they feel sorry for us "poor single women" in this dating game, because it's "so difficult"... using their "sympathy" as a way to brag about their marital status. These bitches act as if they were never single or they are somehow so much better or desired than a single woman.

• Fantasy-princess-wannabe girls who get so obsessed with how they are virgins that they completely lose their identity as human beings when they finally get laid.

• The expression, "to lose one's virginity." I did not lose it, like, "Oops! Where did it go?" I did not "give it away" either. There is not some guy out there walking around with my virginity in his wallet.

• Calling some anti-abortion activists "pro-life" even when they support capital punishment, euthanasia, and war makes me want to puke. There is a big difference between being against abortion and being consistently pro-life. It's obvious that the main concern of many anti-abortionists is not the sanctity of human life, but instead winning some political or social victory. That, or they are blindly following moral rhetoric and never considered the chasm between being anti-abortion while ignoring or even supporting other policies of death.

• The assumption that because I don't fit your ideal of beauty that I have nothing to offer you in a relationship.

• Women who NEED men and vice versa. We'll see how many dates I get after this little remark, but boyfriends (and, for that matter, girlfriends) are like spinner rims. Nice, but not necessary. Think about it. Spinner rims aren't essential for the car's function, nor do they help it perform better. (In fact, they may create drag and thus make it less efficient.) In the same way, having an S.O. is not necessary to your survival. Nor does it make you "better" than someone who isn't in a relationship. Focus on yourself, making yourself whole, and when you do find someone, it's someone who's complementary, NOT supplementary.

• Being labelled a slut if I choose to participate in any sexual activity, and being labelled a frigid, ball-busting, prude if I choose not to. Need I say more?

• Girls who do anal, then claim they are still virgins because their hymens are still intact. Um, no. He still went in. Granted, he went in through the back door, but he still went in.

• The belief that "if you aren't Christian, you're damned." Um, what about those good non-Christians out there? They're good people; and good people are supposed to go to Heaven, right? Additionally, I know a good many atheists who behave in a more Christian manner and live a more meaningful, purposeful life than some Christians do! Where does that leave them?

• "God hates f@gs" and all that nonsense. You know what God hates? Ignorant people who judge others and harm them for being different.

• People who abandon their friends in favor of spending time with a significant other, especially when they come crawling back expecting their abandoned friends to help them cope with a breakup or something. I thought I wasn't as significant as your significant other.

• Having to defend the music and other stuff I like because "it's not white". Since when did liking something have to be racially justified? I am not "trying to be black" or any of that crap. I'm simply listening to music I like. It may not be "white music," but so what? The important thing is I like it.

• Twelve-year-old girls in the locker room discussing the performance of oral sex on their boyfriends or crushes. And the twelve-year-old boys in their locker room boasting about receiving such treatment.

• People who look with disdain and/or pity on me for being single. BIG PUKE!!!

• The idea that someone can't be both physically attractive and a smart, deep-thinking individual. I've known plenty of beautiful women and men, who get good grades, speak and write with good grammar, and are extensively knowledgeable about art, science, philosophy, and all sorts of stuff.

• Parents and teachers who don't inform their kids about sex except to say "Don't do it" and then wonder why teen birth rates in the U.S. are higher than they've been in the last 14 years.

• People who call themselves tolerant and open-minded, yet criticize someone else's religion or lifestyle or sexual orientation or whatever.

• How superficial rap music has gotten in the past decade or so. There were intelligent rappers out there. Now I guess everyone's forgotten about everything except "money, clothes, and hoes." Yeah, the rhythm is fun to dance to, but lyrically it gets old, and has nothing to offer. What mind-opening message do you get from "supersoak that ho"? Just what I thought.

• Fanbases where intelligent discussion and fun are replaced with heated, slug-fest arguments over which characters are paired with which characters.

• 13-year-olds with the Playboy logo emblazoned on their T-shirts. Do they even know what that seemingly innocent rabbit connotes?

• Girls who think they have to downplay their intelligence because smart girls intimidate guys. If you ask me, someone who truly is intimidated by someone else's intelligence is lacking in neurons himself. (For the record, most of the guys I know like smart girls much more than some bimbo.)

• Guys who feel that doing dumb things impresses girls. Childish antics and half-witted insults (meant of course as backhanded compliments) don't impress. Grow some balls and try a new strategy. Like treating her with respect, showing interest in her, and being thoughtful. Not doing something you saw on "Jackass" or calling out crude comments to prove yourself.

• People who believe you're ignorant and superficial just because you don't do the whole "emo" thing. Let me ask this: who's more superficial? The person who freely expresses himself/herself but doesn't dwell on it and leads a normal life, or the so-called emo who writes depressing poetry even though he/she is neither depressed nor living a sucky life and makes every effort to dress, act, and think emo and of course put down those who don't? Further, it just makes those with legitimate depression and legitimate problems look bad.

• Cliques that are so rigid with what the members must wear, do, and behave like that you'd think that the people who define the breed standards for the AKC or UKC dog shows came up with them!

• People who bitch at you during a formal dinner for inadvertently picking up the wrong fork. Who has worse manners? The one who picks up the wrong fork, or the one who picks on him/her for it? I rest my case.

• Parents who blame Cookie Monster's eating habits for their kids' eating habits. Alright, who buys the food for the household? Who stores it and decides what and how much to give the kids? Who makes dinner at night? Not Cookie Monster. (Oh, excuse me. Carrot Monster. >_<) Take responsibility for your kids, for Christ's sake! (Or rather, for the kids' sake!) If you don't want fat kids, teach them good eating habits yourself, and explain why one can't live on cookies alone.

• People who read too much into such innocuous things. A 4-year-old does not see Bert and Ernie as gay. (Whether they are or not.) Trust me, he or she simply sees two people that live together. Heck, they don't even know what gay *is*! And I have yet to meet Harry Potter fans who practice witchcraft because of Harry Potter.

• Bible-thumpers. No, it doesn't contain ALL the answers. No, it doesn't justify rudeness and hatred to other religions or to homosexuals or anyone else. And no, it is not meant to be utilized as a science textbook!

• Kevin Federline... he's such a poser.

• Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton. I don't care what they do. I have other things to worry about. For example, how to help my family cover my college tuition. And how to pass my tough chemistry test.

• How other women are so judgmental. Why are we so insecure that we feel the need to judge someone as threatening or trashy or what have you and put her down to build us up? Why the drama?

• Men (and women) who abandon a long-term partner (especially behind said partner's back) in favor of someone younger, more physically attractive, and more "interesting." As if the love of your life can be replaced as easily as a lightbulb!

• Doctors who assume that a patient is "just stressed" because she's a working mom/a woman of a certain age/etc. and really she's got a tumor or other serious problem.

• People who say "it's OK for men to cheat on their wives because they're biologically programmed to do so." Yes, humans do have a biological component. But we also have rational and emotional components too. To say otherwise is the old "boys will be boys" excuse in another form. Those other components can be used to override the temptation using consideration/common sense, or what we call "conscience". (Hmm...if I sleep with her, my wife will feel hurt, and I could contract an STD...) And the MEN in my experience lack neither consideration for others nor common sense. Nor do these MEN lack the ability to take responsibility for their thoughts, words, and actions.

• On that note, a guy who believes he can sleep around, but if a girl does the same, then she's a slut. Last I checked, it takes two to tango...

• The assumption that all women are racing against their ticking biological clock, in a rush to get married and/or have babies. Not all do. A few that do don't mean all do.

• The idea that you need to use alcohol and/or drugs to truly have a good time. It's OK in moderation, but since when is getting blind drunk and waking up hung over a good time? Since when is holding back your friend's hair while she pukes a good time? Or having a good friend die because he was DUI? Or finding embarrassing photos of you acting stupid under the influence posted all over the Web? Or being arrested for underage drinking, or disorderly conduct or illegal drug possession? And what's the point of going out with your friends if you don't remember the fun you had? If deciding that fun times with friends should be a fun memory and not a nauseous blur makes me boring and anti-social, then so be it.

Copyright© Heartless Bitches International (heartless-bitches.com) 2008, All Rights Reserved

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