Sandra
I am a Heartless Bitch because I've outgrown my illusions.
1) I no longer believe that I'm a "good person" just because I hold
kind thoughts in the recesses of my heart and haven't abused anyone.
Instead, I've come to believe that I'm only as good as my actions and
only "deserve" what I can bring about through my own efforts. This
attitude is humbling, but it's also empowering. It isn't what I AM
but what I DO that gives me value and that (what I do) I generally
control.
2) I'm no longer impressed by people who are impressed with themselves
nor am I blindly impressed with people who are successful. Many
successful people have gotten to where they are by being greedy and
ruthless. If in the wake of their success, they have left a score of
damaged people, they deserve my disdain, not my admiration. The
people who impress me are successful without having lost the ability
to do the "right thing". They are compassionate and they know how to
bring out the best in others.
3) I have given up being a bleeding heart. I don't pity others
because I don't have the kind of wisdom that would allow me to
understand what is going on in their lives. Some of the most
grievously challenged people are amazingly strong and peaceful while
some of the most successful and pampered can be emotionally and
spiritually destitute. I can't accurately judge others, so I simply
expect everyone to work with what they have.
4) I refuse to encourage self-defeating behavior or to be controlled
by it. If someone wants to make the same mistake over and over again,
I'll point out the mistake, but I won't try to fix it or make it
better.
5) I've lost patience with any form of self-deception and dishonesty.
I don't speak in euphemisms nor am I comforted by them. I expect
the truth from everyone that I deal with on a personal level and I
expect them to be able to accept the truth from me. I'm no longer
willing to play the "Ms. Nice Guy" games. I'm not good at games
and I'm far too busy. Besides, I want to be on the level with people
-- not unfriendly, but certainly unpretentious.
6) I'm generally kind and generous with my time, but I refuse to be
responsible for anyone else's happiness. I understand that my
happiness ultimately derives from how I feel about myself and I don't
even try to make anyone else responsible for it. That isn't to say
that I can't be hurt. Far from it! But I'm only hurt if I allow the
hurt. That's as true for me as it is for anyone.
Since becoming a Heartless Bitch, I've become a lot tougher on myself
and tougher on other people as well. I don't care to listen to
anyone's whining, but I'll still jump at a chance to help someone who
simply needs a nudge to lead a more satisfying life.
Yes! I want to read more from Real Life Heartless Bitches
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