Rae
Though it pains me to admit it, the only reason I now qualify as a
genuinely Heartless Bitch is because I’ve been through many of the
absurd stages so vividly illuminated by the weakest weeklies. While I
was never down with the xenophobic, racist, and homophobic nonsense, I
could uncomfortably identify with the ubiquitous pseudo-power moments of
"yeah, I made that asshole cry."
Now in my mid-thirties, I recognize
that the bluster and blow of my 20s was fear-driven, nothing else. While
I remain direct and fearless in most exchanges, I no longer feel a need
to intimidate with cruelty, not in my personal relationships nor in my
work as a college professor. Because my dissertation covered Cyborg
Feminism and dealt primarily with electronic discourse and gender, I
spent several years online in ethnographic research. I’ve often seen
that Bitch becomes my label only once a denizen recognizes I’m female.
Oddly, even though I commonly stick to non-gendered user names, once I
join a discussion the folks on literary listservs or discussion groups
almost always presume I’m male, and I’m fairly certain my virtual
phallus is tucked in my pants.
I want to be part of a forum that
recognize directness and refusal to put up with lame-ass commentary is
not a masculine trait. Finally, I don’t want to sound like I’m working a
program, but what I particularly like here is the no-bullshit approach
to mentoring. Perhaps the dumbest ones never comprehend that HBI isn’t
all about nitpicking grammatical minutiae nor are you dolling out abuse
that isn’t deserved.
I see, instead, that you are helping us recognize
and find humor in the ways we relate, and the often-bizarre methods we
use to negotiate power in relationships, social or romantic "we" being
both men and women. I’d like to be part of that mentoring, as both a
student of the fully self-actualized Bitches I’m quickly growing to
admire and perhaps a teacher eventually to some of the neophytes who
want desperately to be worthy of the title but haven’t yet even grasped
the concept.
Yes! I want to read more from Real Life Heartless Bitches
|
