Meg
I work very hard to judge people as individuals and to draw my criteria
from their actions rather than from easily assumed social typecasts. I
haven't always been successful at this because it's easier to make a
small concession to my principles rather than face the tirade of attacks
or unpleasant atmosphere that speaking up engenders. Recently I won a
victory in the struggle towards learning to act according to the
principles I previously only claimed to uphold.
Earlier this year I was
at a dinner party where my Aunt's boyfriend asked her "How the fuck can
you go to a salon that's run by fags? The thought of two men grosses me
the fuck out." I was tempted to ignore this unsavory statement and let
it "slide by" for the sake of our dinner guests. Thankfully, I stopped
myself before making that grave of a mistake. I instead told him that if
everyone in the world only did business with people whom they enjoyed
visualizing having sex, then humanity would still be stuck in the Stone
Age, and he'd be the poorest caveman of us all. He exploded in response
to this (apparently it hit too close to the mark) and threatened me with
his fist under my nose, saying he thought "fag" was too good a
compliment for homosexuals (a bit like a white man telling a black man
that he doesn't find the word "nigger" offensive).
Later that evening I
shared a taxi with my Aunt's guests and was surprised to find that they
approved of everything I'd said, even though they'd sat there quietly
during the incident saying *nothing* (again, it's "easier just not to
get involved in confrontation"). Apparently I earned a lot of respect
that evening from people who didn't know me well and who are a lot older
than I am, but of most marked significance was that afterwards *I* felt
stronger, rather than frightened and shaken as fights have left me
feeling in the past. More proof that it pays to be a Heartless Bitch,
and that Heartless Bitch doesn't mean you aren't afraid, but that you do
what's right in spite of it.
If I'd only figured this out sooner than
during the past year I might have taken on some responsibility for my
personal state and wasted less time after my father's death. Either way
it's out-of-my-way from here on out --- I plan to be a Heartless Bitch
for the rest of my life.
Yes! I want to read more from Real Life Heartless Bitches
| 
