Exemplary Real-Life Heartless Bitches, 2004
Carolyn - "I'll bare my teeth when you walk by. Does that work for you?"
Michele - "I'm not a licensed therapist. But I'll still charge you $150 an hour if you expect me to fix up your psychological problems."
Yvette - "They say if life gives you lemons make lemonade. Unfortunately, this platitude is useless as most people never bothered to learn to make lemonade, and are just going to scream for Mummy to come make it for them."
Nanaho - "There are too many masochists in the world--and I'm not one of them."
Neeta - "My being a bitch does not imply my wanting to have you as my dog. I'm not here to train anybody."
Ryan - "I'm not your diary. Complain somewhere else."
Cassandra - "Don't try to justify your choices to me. I will not appease your guilt, and if you believe you are right, then stand for something! No one else can validate you. That's your job and you're an idiot if you think it isn't."
Tracy - "Let's not waste each others time with pleasantries and just say what the fuck we want."
Claudette - "I devote my life to becoming better, not bitter. - Fuck that noise. Pass the gin."
Suzanne - "My life is good, and I won't compromise on what's important. If you threaten that, you become nothing to me."
Tina - "I've seen too many women out there who are satisfied with their status as a "Victim." Many of them are so satisfied that they refuse to buy the upgrade to "Survivor.""
Anita - "Be a bitch; get the t-shirt!"
Tabitha - "Being a Bitch doesn't make me who I am. Being who I am makes me a Bitch."
Kesl - "Would you like me to get your inflatable soapbox?"
Ashley - "Being a Heartless Bitch is not about how much ass I can kick or who I can make cry, it's about standing up for what I believe in with grace and tact as well as forceful assertion."
Usarmygal - "It's time for people to spend more time on what they're doing with their own lives and quit worrying about what the next person is doing with theirs."
Elizabeth - "I understand that you want to meddle in my life because you already fucked up yours. That does NOT mean that I will let you or that I won't knock you on your ass if you try!"
Kimberly - "I'm not a bitch because LIFE made me this way. I'm a bitch because stupid people give me gas."
James - "Yeah, life can be a bitch. Deal with it, and move on."
Emily - "I speak my mind because I can. If I wanted to stay silent, I'd be the first to sew my mouth shut."
Amy - "I have received at least my share of abuse, and I will abstain from passing it along to you. I expect you to do the same."
Tari - "Three rules: don't drink more than you can stand, always carry enough cash for a cab home, and never be afraid to say "fuck it.""
Antoinette - "Live, learn, point, laugh."
Elise - "The truth hurts, even more so when it's coming from a Heartless Bitch who doesn't give two shits what you think."
Branwyn - "I'm extremely blessed to come from a line of smart, competent, capable women. I'm proud to say my mother is my best friend; I believe in myself, but she believed in me first."
Nicole - "If educated women scare you, I hear there are some medications that can really help. Of course, they also cause impotence, but that's hardly a concern in your case."
Sanna - "Just because it isn't an option for you doesn't mean that rationality can't be a genuine form of self-expression."
Leni - "If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, who the hell is actually from Earth? Ahhh right... The Atlantean Warrior Women."
Millie - "My personal mission statement is: "I may not be nice, but I GET SHIT DONE.""
Hawk - "You don't need him (her), you need yourself."
Aisha - "When people ask me what college I want to go to I usually reply with these three: Juliard, Yale, and Whittenberg. When they give me funny looks I automatically know this person isn't worth talking to."
Hannah - "Yes, I'm renting this jackhammer to use myself. I bought the house on my own; nobody's going to come along and offer to do the damn work for me!"
Meredith - "I pour my heart and soul into life, and Goddamn it, I demand to get that back out of it."
Kristin - "If you have nothing useful to contribute, by all means get the fuck out of the way."
Alison - "To me, the ultimate complement is being told that I handled something stressful or sad with grace rather than with venom."
Sandra - "You are what you do."
Jennifer - "Don't ask the question if you don't want the truth. I don't mind giving you the reality check you deserve."
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