Nisha
[Unfortunately I may make an occasional mistake, so I would like
to apologize if I do now, I know how annoying it can be.
My only excuse is that English is not my first language]
Honestly, I never thought of myself as a Heartless Bitch until
I found this site. A friend of mine, who has been a member for
a very long time, recommended it to me.
I think about myself as a strong responsible person, and since life
is short and I don't want to waste it on weakness, mine or
anybody else's, I sometimes get complaints from people around me
for being not very gentle or respectful. It did upset me when
I was younger, but now I understand and respect myself more. I do try
to help my friends when they have trouble, but have little tolerance
for whining.
I don't want to get married or have children now. Since I am 26,
I am persecuted by my family and it drives me mad. So does the dating
ritual. I think the turning point of realizing myself as a heartless
bitch, even though I did not call myself this, was
when my, at that time, best friend and roommate, whom I saw as a very
independent strong type, met a guy and completely changed. The fact
that she started using baby talk and decided that she was afraid of
driving all of a sudden was really upsetting. The moment she started
considering my dates as only possible/not possible future husbands
and stopped paying attention to anything else in them, or, for that
matter, in my life, was an eye opening experience.
What else is hard for me to take:
1) I am a graduate student in Computer Science and it is very hard
to take some women's attitude that, since there are not many women in
this field, they should be treated differently, demanding at the same
time to be taken seriously. It gives bad name to feminism and
unfortunately is widely accepted by guys in the field, as I see it,
because it makes them feel better about themselves.
2) Dating guys who look smart and kind, but cannot take an independent
woman. They think they can, and it raises your hopes, yet at the end
it turns out they had some very limited image of independence in
mind.
3) Family as a required thing to be considered complete. I am in my
mid-twenties and already tired of people assuming that I cannot be
happy alone. I love men and I would love to be with a lover I can
share my life with, but I am ok even if I don't have one.
4) People who want to be loved and respected, but at the same time
want to whine, be weak, give you all their problems. If you don't
want to center your life around them, you are not a good friend.
5) baby talk; skreeching girls; guys to say that "the best body type
is a 14-year old girl, but as a sane man I will never date one of
them" and expect you to date them, since they are honest; pink t-shirts with
glittering "angel"; TV and movies that show that after you are 24-25
the only way for you to be a person is to be a part of a family.
and more-more-more.
I am not a group animal, but it is nice to share your thoughts with
people who would listen as understand. The friend I mentioned in
the beginning, was the first person I could talk to openly about
different issues in life and be honest about them, including sex, career,
family life and all. I was very happy to find this person and he told
me about your site. It seems that there could be people who would be
interested in my opinion and who are interesting to me among the
members.
Yes! I want to read more from Real Life Heartless Bitches
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