Celibate
I've become very good at saying "you're not my type." If pressed for further explanation, I add, "My type is someone who can express his/her own opinion instead of what s/he thinks I want to hear." I'm not about to listen to anyone trying to build themselves up by continually running me down either
I'm not impressed by supermarket glasshouse roses. I like roses home grown, with thorns, aphids and spiders. I'm impressed by people who bother to find that out before bringing me flowers.
I admire Dorothy Parker. My favourite quote is "I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true."
If well-hung was so important to me, I'd pay more attention to my horse.
I have laughed at an incompetent man in bed. (Is that it? Is that all there is? Are you done yet? Get off me, NOW!)
Have threatened the manhood of males who cheat in mixed team sport. It guarantees 100% instant and complete fair play.
One boyfriend said he'd "see if he could fit me in his schedule," when I wanted to make a 6000km round trip to see him (I was working internationally at the time.) When I dumped him (because he was too gutless to do it), he said he still wanted to be friends and I laughed at him. I think he still doesn't get it - 5 years later.
A chivalrous "after you" will only get abuse from me if the elevator goes without us while you dither in front of the door.
In response to "only men can do that," I say "Women *are* men--The upmarket, fully equipped version."
Yes! I want to read more from Real Life Heartless Bitches
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