Vivienne
While I have all the sympathy in the world for true underdogs, the
voiceless who cannot speak for themselves, I have increasingly little
sympathy for the whiny adults (from age 20 to 100) in our materialistic,
superficial culture, for people who are so empty inside that they must
keep up with the Joneses, buy the latest/greatest of this or that, and
provide their whining brats with anything their selfish little hearts
desire.
Heartless Bitches, in my experience are (like myself) not afraid of
being politically incorrect. In fact, political correctness often turns
their stomachs. For this reason, Heartless Bitches are often not popular
with other women. They may be on the fringe of "the In crowd", but are
probably not members of "the In crowd" (unless it's a crowd of Heartless
Bitches), and they never can be: Heartless Bitches cannot, in good
conscience, subvert their individuality to conform to some
pre-established standards. They are what they are, warts and all.
Heartless Bitches want justice, and they work for it. They aren't
content to merely whine, or even to rant and rave (though they often do
the latter two, just because it often needs to be done) -- they need to
act on gross injustices. This is why they are often activists in some
ways or at some times (but often not as members of a group). I marched
on Washington a year ago this past January to protest the selection
(*not* election) of the dumbest member of the Bush family. I previously
attended various anti-police brutality protests here in Chicago. My
first march was a pro-choice march on Washington in 1989 when I was 22.
When people complain to me about how shitty things are, unless they can
articulate a reason for abstaining from voting (and, really, it's not
that hard: it's not like both parties don't accept corporate money for
campaign finance), I always ask them, "Oh, yeah? And did you vote last
election? Do you ever write your congressmen or senators?" When I hear
answers in the negative, my response is "Then shut the fuck up; you have
no right to complain if you can't be bothered to exercise your rights to
help change things." However, active anarchism and a conscious refusal
to participate in a rigged political system to earn my respect -- as
long as it's not "couch" anarchism.
The other thing that really pisses me off are people (women) who look at
my life and tell me how "lucky" I am. I'm not lucky. I'm the product of
decisions I made (for better and worse). I made mistakes, I fucked up a
lot, but my 20/20 hindsight wasn't laced with amnesia, and I learned. I
stopped blaming my parents and took responsibility for changing the
things in myself that I didn't like.
Heartless Bitches don't stop being Heartless Bitches when they're
involved with a significant other. They know that it's not an act, it's
*who* they are; they can no more change it than they can change the
color of their blood. Heartless Bitchiness is a combination of strength,
stridence, a refusal to back down, and the ability to shrewdly assess
opportunities, without abusing one's strength or knowledge for negative,
self-serving purposes (unless you find a really deserving moronic target
on occasion).
Heartless Bitches have an instinct for self-preservation and a refusal
to be victims that most other people lack. It isn't merely identifying
with one's aggressors; it is self-knowledge. Heartless Bitches know most
people aren't black and white, all good or all bad; they know that we
all have good and bad within us, and Heartless Bitches are in touch with
their inner badness. In fact "bad", transgressive artists, writers, and
other cultural figures fascinate Heartless Bitches.
Heartless Bitches like me have friends that other people often don't
like because those friends speak the truth when no one really wants to
hear it. Heartless Bitches may sometimes have difficulties with these
friends themselves, but they know it takes a true friend and a strong
person to tell you the unpleasant truth to your face -- or to hear it
from you. The last thing a Heartless Bitch wants in a friend is cowardly
niceness for the sake of keeping the peace.
Heartless Bitches stand their ground. They aggress if it's warranted,
but they never retreat unless they truly believe they've made a mistake
-- and then they're capable of true apology, not meaningless niceties to
smooth things over uneasily.
Yes! I want to read more from Real Life Heartless Bitches
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