Jim
My childhood was not pleasant. I was abused, verbally and emotionally,
by my family. I don't whine about my childhood or blame all my problems
on this, however, and it is not because nobody wants to hear it or
because to do so would be pathetic. It is because it isn't relevant. The
only thing that matters in this world is who I am now, at this time,
what I can accomplish, what I am capable of. The fact that I had to
overcome more or less than the next person is irrelevant. What is
relevant is that I take responsibility for my life, what I accomplish
and what I fail to accomplish.
Who I am is not something I realized overnight. It has taken me a long
time to learn what I know about this complex world. I used to follow the
"nice guy" routine and being everyone's friend was my basic strategy. I
learned this at home because doing what other people wanted was the only
path I saw. I needed everyone to like me, but now I understand I was a
weak person who was going to go nowhere with his life.
As I grew older I began to spend a decent amount of time evaluating my
life and fixing the problems I found. I still do this, because who I am
is my responsibility, and I want to be the best I can. I am a work in
progress, and I am getting better every day. A big reason why I have
made it to where I am now is that I did not waste my time trying to
learn how to "act" like a man by doing things like following the advice
of those "men's" magazines like Maxim or imitating friends, television
and movies. To do so would be following the same erroneous path that
produces so many shallow people. Instead I have gone through the more
difficult process of becoming a complete person, someone who is
independent and responsible and who knows himself. It wasn't easy, there
were many bumps along the way, but now I am a secure person because my
belief in my own value is based on what I see inside myself, not how I
measure up to some phony standard.
Today, I am not intimidated or threatened by those who think they are
better people because they have more money, a better job, or are better
looking. I don't fall all over women who think they can get any guy they
want because of their hair color or because they look good on a
stairmaster. I walk right by without giving them a second glance because
leering at women like that only feeds their egos and is degrading of
myself. I ignore guys who think they are big shit because they drive a
BMW they didn't pay for, because they can drink a case of beer in one
night or because freshman girls were falling all over them when they
were in college. As far as I am concerned those guys are magnets for
insecure women and draw them away from me. I can clearly see through the
deception and pseudo-confidence so common in the people around me.
So who am I really? I am smart, ambitious, friendly, resourceful, and
determined. I like to think of myself as a good person. But does that
make me a "nice guy"? No, because nice guys are really immature guys who
think being weak or a pushover makes them good people. I am not "nice"
because I fight for the things I believe in, such as the human rights of
free speech and self determination, the intrinsic beauty that does exist
in this world, and most importantly, I believe in myself and my
potential. And anyone who gets in my way can go to hell.
Yes! I want to read more from Real Life Heartless Bitches
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