Christine
If you're too dumb for me, I will not listen.
If you end every sentence fragment...? Like this...? I will mock you...? Til you cry...?
Honking at me while I'm walking will not persuade me to hop in with you.
It only persuades me that you are a non-verbal being capable of
communication only by slapping your steering wheel.
I actually work out to get stronger. Why do you go? Hmm, to show off
your new spandex. Would you mind sticking your hand between the weights
on this machine? You wouldn't? Thank you.
If you think I am going to laugh at your jokes when they're not funny,
enjoy the silence.
If Britney Spears is your favorite "singer," I will box your ears.
Actually, she's probably less annoying when you're deaf.
If you have, have considered getting, or have needled someone to get
breast implants, you deserve any malpractice that occurs.
You can see flames actually spurting from my eyes when I see a girl at a
sporting event wearing as little as she can get away with just for the
joy of getting on the jumbotron. And shame on the camera person who
focuses on her.
Does it occur to anyone else that the models that exemplify our standard
of beauty are only beautiful because upper level fuckers in the fashion
industry tell us so? And those guys are generally the type to be more
attracted to boys than girls? So we therefore have female models who
look like little boys and all the "100% Not Gay" guys in America are
wishing their girlfriends looked more like models. How fucked up is
that?
I'm glad I'm attractive. I love the shock people get when I don't giggle on command.
You know, just because you consider Maya Angelou "totally, like cool and
stuff," it doesn't mean you should ruin my day by breathing.
I like guys. I like girls. I like being in love. I like sex. I like
friends. I just don't like wasting my time.
Yes! I want to read more from Real Life Heartless Bitches
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