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and Damned Proud of it!

If I hear one more of the Martha Stewart clones here at work tell one more disgusting baby's diarrhea story at the coffee machine, I will puke on someone's shoes. The same goes for the daily soap opera update.

If I hear one more married man say, "I've never cheated on my wife, but I can't stop thinking about you." I will go completely postal. Do I look like I just fell off the turnip truck?!

If one more former cheerleader bitches and complains all day long that her ass-kissing husband had the nerve not to start her car for her on that cold morning last week, I may have to punch her in the head. Start you own damn car you lazy, spoiled brat -- and while you're at it, start his. He's got to go to work to pay for that house he just bought for you.

If I hear the excuse, "I was drunk, I didn't know what I was doing" one more freakin' time I will light the drunk ass on fire.

The worst thing in the world is a coward! Everybody fucks up once in a while. When you do -- stand up and take your licks -- quit blaming the rest of the world for your bad choices.

Yes! I want to read more from Real Life Heartless Bitches

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