I'm a Heartless Bitch because...

1. I've done the married thing, and my idea of a fun time would be to use my ex-husband to find out if a Rotato will work well for peeling that cucumber-like body part.
   
2. I harbor a deep and abiding hatred for Idiots, Morons, and Mouthbreathers, and believe it should be legal to declare open hunting season on them.
3. I dream with friends about taking over New Hampshire someday (we have our reasons why it's NH) and setting up our own government, cloning gorgeous male stars for our own personal harem of slaves, making Idiocity illegal, and ruling that you CAN shoot tourists come tourist season.
   
4. I've decided that sex is superfluous, and I don't need a "romantic" relationship to feel fulfilled. I get all I really need from my best friend, because he LISTENS to me, understands me, has proven I can trust him, and is always available for hugs when I need 'em--REAL hugs, not the kind my ex would give me... (Which was more like, me hugging him, him groping me)
   
5. I don't believe in second chances, personally. You hurt me once, you're screwed. Period. I learned the hard way--several times over with a variety of people in a short span of years--that the old adage is true... "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me." (The only exceptions are within the very small handful of people who've proven by time and trial that they are real friends, because the best people do make mistakes.)
   
6. I have two children, thank you. They are my children, even though I did not give birth to them. They are adopted. Who the fuck are you to say they can't really be my children just because they are CATS!? At least my children don't do drugs, don't listen to N-fucking-SYNC and Spears, and wear clothes made at Whores-R-Us.
   
7. My idea of a good time involves items like a Rotato, a bodywrap of wet rawhide and a sunlamp, and rusty, jagged knives. And to me, "Idiot" is just another word for "live game".
   
8. I drool over a beautifully-made dagger or sword, or a well-balanced, powerful gun. "A thing of beauty is a joy forever."
   
9. Teenyboppers = Homicidal Urges
   

Yes! I want to read more from Real Life Heartless Bitches

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