Max von Sydow had a great line in Hannah and Her Sisters:

"If Jesus could see all the things being done in his name today, he'd never stop throwing up."

I'm not anybody's saviour -- and I wouldn't want to be -- but Heartless Bitchiness is pretty much the only thing that keeps me sane. If I actually expended the time and energy to think deeply and sensitively about the low self-esteem, childhood trauma, and whatever other fucked-up-ness is at the root of things like The Rules, Martha Stewart, his 'n' hers ski outfits, people who take Psychic Friends Network seriously, "I'll-have-to-ask-my-husband"-itis, Dear Abby, "About Our Wedding" websites, Cathy comics, the entire cornucopia of "women's" magazines ("Lose 20 pounds in 7 minutes!" 50 More Ways to Please Your Man in Bed!"), Baby Gap, Viagra for free while women still pay for birth control, and the unaccountable popularity of Cameron Diaz, I'd never get out of bed in the morning.

Yes! I want to read more from Real Life Heartless Bitches

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