(for the Week of May 24, 1999)
Malina - "The two most common things in the universe are Hydrogen and Ignorance...Don't be common."
Morrigan - "Nothing is so weak and unstable than a reputation for power not built on your own forces."
Raine - "I can't tolerate men who use women or women who let themselves be used."
Cheryl - "You be sure and let me know when that attitude gets you somewhere honey."
Maya - "Bitchiness is a state of mind, be at one with the Inner Bitch."
Arlene - "If you can't stand the Heat, then get out of my face, because I like it hot."
Valiya - "Your self-pity makes me want to vomit."
Tracy - "I don't want to be divorced....I want to be a widow!"
Denise - "I've already got one asshole in my pants, I don't need another!"
Rachael - "Girls who look like holocaust-surviving heroin addicts for the sake of the male population make me want to puke."
Rudey - "Women who speak like children to please a man need their eyeliner shoved up their ass."
Elaine - "I'm sometimes called heartless. I do have a heart, it's just that I'd rather use if for things like pumping blood than giving a toss about your problems."
Melissa - "Put him back in the oven honey, cause he ain't done and I'm not hungry."
Kelly - "A man is a man, and a woman is a woman...but anyway you slice it, we each have our fair share of bitches and assholes."
Lucy - In response to being branded a "little slag" just because I have long blonde hair and blue eyes: "In that case, just because you let yourself continue to exist, you're obviously an arsehole."
Kasey - "If you like me, I'll relish you. If you love me, I'll treasure you. If you hurt me, I'll DESTROY you."
Pat - "If you're trying to bully ME, mister ... you're in the WRONG cave."
Lee - "The bigger a man's ego, the smaller his penis."
Berrin - "You himbo, if you had %10 of my brain, you would be working on a logical subject instead of looking at that Playboy magazine!"
Nikki - "I need more money, more power, and less shit from stupid people like you."
Kristina - "If you're threatened by a woman who has a mind of her own, won't take shit from anybody, and doesn't want to be dependent on someone else... I'm not the woman for you. I refuse to be a princess, a housewife, or a doormat!"
Sarah - "Strong women don't exist for weak men to lean on."
Cindy - "Bitch: Not just a word, a lifestyle!"
Lisa - "Stop flirting honey, just fuck him and get it over with it."
Emiley - "You may want me but you couldn't handle me"
Nadia - "Men were given one more brain cell than dogs so they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties."
Andrea - "I am not sarcastic or cynical, it's not my problem if you don't know what to do when your boyfriend/husband cheats on you!"
Amanda - "I'm strong, I'm intelligent, and I know what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay."
Vida - "Only YOU can change YOUR life."
Jamie - "Do you even know where my clit is? Then you'd better find it pretty fuckin' fast!"
Vicky - "Just 'cause daddy paid for your college degree doesn't mean you have a BRAIN!"
Elizabeth - "Are you talking for a reason?"
Debe - "Listen and respect other people's opinions - they are probably not right - but what the hell, let 'em talk."
Sherry - "It's a small world. You gotta use your elbows a lot."
Carol - "If you don't like it then change it or shut up"
Kim - "Instant bitch, just add you!"
Magdalena - "Live your life as you please"
Jessica - "Who needs hopeless, helpless people when I have my original self and my mirror."
Connie - "It has taken me a long to get here, but I have released my inner bitch. I am proud of what I have become."
Amanda - "All that bragging, and that's the best you can do?"
Julia - To the pig who hassles me at a singles bar: "You're the reason there are lesbians in the world."
Christine - "Keep your dick in your pants ASSHOLE, and quit pissin' in the gene pool."
Kimberley - "Permavictim? I don't think so. Enabler? I don't think so. Miss Nicely? I DON'T THINK SO!!!"
Anita - "Ever notice that men with tiny penises try to overcome their penis envy with fast cars or reckless driving- women seeing this just nod at each other and say, "yep, no penis"."
Amie - "If my views don't fit nicely in a box you build, don't think they cancel themselves out."
Jaime - "Did I do something to give you the impression that I give a fuck? Because if I did, I'll stop it right now."
Malika - "I'm not rude, you're insignificant."
Cindy - "Yes I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial."
Lindsey - "If you act ignorant, I will treat you accordingly."
Roseanne - "Ladies read romances and know they are worthless, sluts watch porn and know they are perfect."
Julia - "If you are not where you want to be, doing what you want to do, with whom you want to do it, every minute of everyday, it's your own friggin' fault."
Trace - "I'm so great, I'm jealous of myself."
Kim - "I've spent 37 years trying to please others....now I only choose to please myself."
Michelle - (best when said after some fool has continually made a pest of himself in a bar) grab his crotch & ask "Does that come in an adult size?"
Trysha - "The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who, in times of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality" -- Dante.
Gabriella - "Bitch is my first name, I don't hide from the truth."
Kellyanne - "I AM your bad karma, bud."
Katherine - "Do refrain from wasting my time with inane ramblings about your trite and pathetic life."
Dee - "You can't make the hard decisions if you're soft in the head."
Dawn - "I cannot change the world all at once so I must gird my loins and prepare for battle on a daily basis."
Janice - "I think, therefore I am single."
Zona - "I see the emotional angles in this situation, but I'm going to go with my BRAIN'S opinion, thanks."
Cheree - "Stop being a pussy and stand up for yourself!"
Michele - "You! Off my planet!"
Jennifer - "If men are from Mars, and Women are from Venus, then what planet are you from honey?"
Karen - "Don't give me that attitude, I've got one of my own!"
Megan - "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me."
Tonna - "I like men, it's not their fault they have a penis instead of a BRAIN!"
Skye - "Hello, it's me...I'm not at home...if you'd like to reach me...LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" - Sheryl Crow
Jane - "If I need breasts to attract a man, he's not the kind of man I want."
Adriana - "I speak it. . I believe it. . . and I live it!"
Grethe - "Lower head, raise eyebrow and then roll eyes."
Melissa - "You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing."
Sandra - "Live your life to suit no one but yourself. Less guilt."
Kendra - "I'm a strong, independent woman, and if that means I'm a bitch, so be it."
Debbie - "Keep talking, I've found new places to bury the bodies."
Jill - "What the hell are you talking about? I'm a fat chick. I can have whatever the hell I want!"
Barbara - "I take no excuses, no put-downs and NO PRISONERS! Deal with it!"
Shelivith - "Muahahaha...you're such a funny man..that's why I am going to kill you last!"
Cyndi - "I don't recall giving birth to you so I ain't your mama! Go tell someone who gives a shit."
Kristina - "Dear Tom. My feminism is about ME, not about you. Get over it. Love, Kristina."
Lori - "You can only be young once, but you can be a bitch forever!"
R.vavich - "Anyone else smell bullshit?"
Rebecca - "I could tell you what gives me the right to be a Bitch, but then I'd have to kill you."
Michelle, - "Like, what'll it be today? Wiccan? Vegan? or bi? Think about how your trend affects the genuine before you begin to advertise."
Alisa - " "It'll be better for the both of us" is the EASY WAY OUT! Take responsibility for your own emotions and let me feel mine in PEACE!"
Leslie - "Some people need to count to ten before they speak, I suggest you count to one million."
Frances - "If I want your inane opinion, I'll beat it out of you."
Jamie - "Age is just a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter........Satchel Paige"
Lindsey - "Intelligence has limits, stupidity does not."
Cindy - "I am worth the effort I put into myself!"
Quasar - "Well, it's been lovely, but I have to scream now."
Michelle - "I'm your worst nightmare. You won't know I'm killing you until you draw your last breath."
Marti - "I am not your mother, maid or hooker."
Lisa - "what doesn't kill you will make you stronger, so quit bitchin' and get on with living!"
Tiffany - "If I was to tap you on your arm...would you fall over from that extremely big ego that's in the hollow spot sitting on your shoulders?"
Robin - "Joke 'em if they can't take a fuck"
Rachel - "I can't take you seriously if your skirt is so short I can see your tampon string."
Glenda - "Men will listen to anything if they think it is foreplay."
Corina - "I'm a bitch, I've got an attitude, and if you don't like it, get the FUCK out of my way!"
Myra - "I have no room in MY life for losers..."
Morrigan - "Darling, I only bitch at you cuz you're so special to me, I mean why waste my precious breath and energy on some one that means squat to me?"
Jann - "I make my own rules! Live my life my way! So piss and moan to somebody who gives a shit!"
Deborah - "I don't play head games, so don't fuck with my gray matter."
Deb - "I am woman, hear me roar...then get the hell out of my way!"
Blake - "So I'm a guy. I still hate men."
Billi - "Call me a Heartless Bitch or a calculating cunt and I won't care--but God help anyone who calls me stupid or dependent!"
Aimee - "Why in hell should I feel sorry for people who bring their problems on themselves?"
Lorrie-anne - "This is my ass you idiot. You can kiss it. You see, it's kind of like the Blarney Stone of Ireland. Kiss it and it will bring you good luck and much happiness!"
Shannon - "I need a partner in a man, not a project!"
Connor - "If you let someone kick you once, they'll kick you once. If you let someone kick you three times, they'll kick you three times, but if you reach out and break that mother fucker's foot, ain't no more kickin' gonna be goin' on!!"
Dee - "I don't beg on my knees. But by the time I am finished, you'll be on your knees, screaming for a god who doesn't welcome weaklings in its paradise. Only us bitches.... So how do you like hell?"
Janine - "I definitely don't hate whiners, I just can't stand them."
Rachel - "this isn't an original, but I love it: "Heaven won't have me and Hell is afraid I'll take over!" I'm not some damsel in distress- if you try to fight my dragons for me, you may wind up extra-crispy!"
Shea - "WHAT IF YOUR BALLS WERE THIS BIG!?"
Sonia - "Maybe you're not an asshole, but you sure do one hell of a good imitation of one."
Kryztina - "Take back your clit, your tits, your shit, and move on!"
Sylvia - "Bitches are the caffeine high of feminist society"
Michelle - "The only job a woman can't do is provide Y chromosomes for her off-spring..."
Chiara - "Bitching is okay, but if it has to do with a man, I don't wanna hear about it."
Cheryl - "Life is. Deal with it."
Courtney - "Give me a second to see how interesting you are; Don't be stupid."
Kelly - "Life is full of lemons, go buy some tequila & throw one bitch of a party."
Kim - "Unless you crap on a golden toilet seat, you're getting no special treatment from me."
Selena - "Someday, you are going to grow up and get a clue. On that day, we have a date."
Shalott - "Why don't you guys just get out a ruler and get it over with?"
Heather - "I am more of a man than you could ever be and more womyn than you could ever handle!"
Jodi - "there is no such thing as hot flashes-- just power surges"
Michael - "Sorry buddy, but all the 2-ton, butch 4x4 trucks in the world still won't help you compensate for your incredibly microscopic dick."
Teal - "I just want to tell all women who complain about how they NEED a man: You don't need a man, get a vibrator... they probably have better conversational skills anyway"
Xtas - "Get a life, get a dream, get a blow-up doll. This doll IS NOT for you!"
Sydne - "Do not expect me to show you the way. It took me a long time to get here, and believe me, you won't make it."
Kate - "I am a founding member of S.W.A.F: Serious Woman Against Fuck-o's"
Kathy - "If you don't shut up I'll open your skull and plant azaleas in there and at last you'll be good for something."
Kelly - "Save your breath, you'll need it for your date."
Sharon - "If you can't spell "Are" and "you" don't bother to IM me."
Susan - "If you don't like my attitude, I can rip out your spine and beat you to death with it, and then maybe you will have a nice day."
Suzanne - "I'm sorry, I can't be around you. You see, I am lactose intolerant and you are cheesy."
Amy - "Now honestly if your penis was all that and a bag of chips you wouldn't be here trolling for a date now would you?"
Cheryl - "I REFUSE to play-act someone else's dreams!"
Jessica - "My ex-boyfriend once told me that he was insecure because I didn't NEED him. He was right, I didn't."
Jin - "I'm not evil...I'm just insane."
Dianna - "Tell me what you need and I will tell you how you are going to get along without it."
Dianna - "If you don't like me speaking my mind, you are free to turn a deaf ear!"
Dianna - "Sorry, I'm allergic to assholes."
Ariel - "Would my sleeping with your girlfriend piss you off less if I were male?"
Melanie - "I don't have time to coddle people, I'm too busy living my life."
Rita - "You have my respect. It's my disrespect you earn."
Sara - "You never mattered anyway."
Sabrina - "Persistence is better than patience. It works faster and there's no confusion about what you want."
Molly - "Bitchdom has many levels; reaching the top is a goal worthy of an entire life's dedication."
Josephine - "DON'T SHOUT WHILE I'M SHOUTING DAMMIT!"
Lorelei - "I've only ever done it my way."
Kim - "If I wanted your advice, I would have given it to you."
Hairfish - To my husband of 20 years: "Don't ask me to spend less time at the computer, and I won't ask you to talk to me about anything important."
"April" - "Patience & Determination equal Success... look within, find it, and move forward."
Melanie - "Take responsibility for your own life, but be prepared to shoulder the blame as well as the glory."
Steffani - "No cute, catchy slogans; just pure unadulterated bitch..."
Yes! I want to Read about more "Real Life Heartless Bitches"
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