This Week's Real-Life Heartless Bitches:
The comments on these pages should not be construed as "Whining" - these
are the "Reasons" why our members have been labelled "Heartless Bitches".
If you ever wanted to know what makes a woman a Heartless Bitch, you'll find it here.
(For the week of Aug 24, 1998 - based on applications from June23rd-Aug12/98)
Heartless Hall of Fame: Women who personify the True Spirit of HBI
Amanda - "Shutting up is never an option."
Amie - "I'm not an elitist -- I really *AM* smarter, more together, wittier, and better than you!"
Angela - "There's nothing like step on the fallen. Except when they bleed, they stain your shoes. Don't fuck with me, or I'll circumcise you with my teeth."
Angela - "Where did you buy your balls? I gotta get a pair just like 'em."
April - "If you can't see where you're going, pull your head outta your ass!"
Ariana - "Isn't it ironic? Here you are all alone and here I am trying to be."
Betsy - "You can't live with them, but you sure can fuck with their heads a little bit."
Beth - "Live is an adventure: live & learn from mistakes -- always move forward with no regrets."
Beth - "If you're gonna act like a stupid asshole, then get used to dealing with this bitch...because she takes no prisoners."
Beverly - "I have absolutely no tolerance of ignorance, for ignorance there is a cure, it is called learning."
Bonnie - "Brains over "bra"wn!"
Breanne - "Neuter the stupid... snip and clip!"
Cynthia - "Whining will get you nothing but a kick in the butt!"
Deana - "If ya can't play with the Big girls, get a Barbie. I play hard, and I play for keeps."
Debra - "I'm looking 40 right in the eye, I look the best I've ever looked, feel the best I've felt, and if you don't like it, you can KISS my ass!"
Deborah - "OK, so you had to go bury your father...where's the rent?"
Dei - "I pity you because you are mindless, not because your life is shit."
D - "Everyone had a bad childhood---get over it"
Dorothy - "If man is five and the devil is six, then that must make me seven."
Echo - "Honesty is a weapon I'm not afraid to use."
Elandra - "Maybe if you'd stop thinking WITH your penis, or thinking ABOUT your penis, you'd get a clue."
Elena - "A Female is marked by seconds of genetic selection. A Woman is years of hard work, but each day on the making pays back in strength."
Elena - "Pregnancy: when the plus sign is a bad thing."
Elisabeth - "It takes a special kind of stupid to forget to (eat lunch, use a condom, accelerate on an on-ramp, etc...)"
Ellie - "Live and let live or pay the consequences for fucking with me."
Goatgirl - "Curmudgeonly awaiting the implosion of the patriarchy."
Grayce - "I was born a BITCH...I'll die a BITCH!"
Hannah - "Yes, I know I'm flaunting my bitchiness, did you know you are flaunting your low IQ?"
Heather - "Write it off as business; don't get personal."
Headspent - "Sorry honey, but I change for no one but MYSELF."
Heidi - "Reality is your creation, baby, so start making your Self something useful."
Holli - "How can men say I'm "too smart" or "too intimidating" to date? Don't they really mean they're "too stupid" or "too weak" to stand in my shadow? Yeah, I'm brilliant, beautiful, funny, creative and compassionate - and if that's not what you're looking for in a woman - well, the other 98% of the back-stabbing, ignorant, female population should suit you just fine."
Hollis - "Fuck you? No, you'd fall in love and I'd fall ASLEEP."
Ivonne-marie - "Men are like fine wine. They all start out as grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd want to have dinner with."
Jamie - "Cry me a fucking river and I'll push you in."
Jennifer - "Just what the hell are you looking at? My eyes are up here bozo."
Jennifur - "Sure tough macho men have feelings and deep down are sensitive...but who the hell cares?"
Jennifer - "When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they're not it."
Jessyca - "One has to learn to stand on her own two feet - and kick if necessary."
Jessica - "Human by birth, Heartless Bitch by choice."
Jodi - "Make no mistake, dickhead, I AM the evil twin sister."
Kathy - ""Why did you make men so stupid that they would rather fuck an empty-headed Barbie with plastic parts than a witty, intelligent, honest and assertive woman?" is the first question I am gonna ask Her when I get to Heaven."
Kathy - "If I had a dick, I'd tell you to suck it!"
Katrina - "I am a woman, I have needs! *roar*"
Kerry - "No regrets. I don't accuse anybody. Least of all myself, my family, or the system. I knew what I was doing" -Rosa Liksom - One Night Stands
Kiernan - "Sure, men can write their name in the snow, but snow doesn't last forever!"
Kim - "I know what I want, and it's NOT YOU!"
Krystee - "Voted most likely to puncture a lounge lizard with her stilettos."
Laura - ""I'm polite once. Don't fuck it up.""
Laura - "Most men have their heads shoved so far up their ass, they will never see the light of day again!"
Lindsay - "For anyone who has the nerve to call me a bitch in the derogative sense, remember that I'm the same BITCH who will eventually walk all over your pathetic ass."
Lisa - "Shoo, go away."
Lucianne - "We'll kick your ass without even smearing our eyeliner"
Lyn - "Bitch? Why YES I AM!"
Lynn - "I'm a Heartless Bitch because I have learned that men are great, but I can live just fine without one (thank you) until one worth the energy and time comes along."
Connie - "It's only misspent if you didn't learn from it. Once you learn, evolve, Dammit!"
Martha - "I think that Michael Bolton should hang himself from a flagpole nude and allow people to fling rubber bands at him for all the misery he's caused me in my entire life."
Maria - "(In response to some lame pick-up line): Oh, I see you're a wit. No, excuse me, that's only half right."
Maureen - "If you don't like it, then just take your skate key and go home!"
Meg - "I'm in the fortunate position of not giving a shit."
Melissa - "Darling...your proctologist called...THEY FOUND YOUR HEAD!"
Melissa - "You've run out of time, your god-favors-fools-card has expired, and I'm here to collect the debt owed to me..."
Michael - "My decisions are not based on your needs."
Mim - "Just send it to me in e-mail, OK?"
Minerva - "You keep THAT up and I am gonna hafta take you apart and put ya back together WRONG! Oops! Too late!"
Nicole - "Why don't you call me a bitch one more time? It makes me feel proud that you FINALLY understood something about me correctly."
Nora - "Give me what I want, and I'll give you what you want."
Olivia - "Yes, you ARE fat. Have another cheeseburger, honey."
Palmyra - "My pen is pretty damn mighty, but get in my way and I won't hesitate to use my sword."
Paola - "Get a grip -- before I give you one!"
Ramona - "If a woman tries to steal your husband, the best revenge is to let her keep him!"
Roberta - "Sweetie, the only time I have penis envy is after a hard 2-hour haul on my hardtail, I'm in full leathers, and you turds have been using the only stinkin' portajohn all friggin' weekend!"
R. - "The girls they love perch on their seats like delicate, tight lidded jars. Painted china dolls desperately afraid of breaking their simpering faces. But I am not those girls. I am wanton and wild and sit with inappropriate spaces between my knees. I take my lovers in public, and my eyes dare the Pharisees to speak."
Sarah - "Feminism is the radical notion that women are people."
Sarita - "My ex keeps threatening to kill himself if I don't come back. If he'd just DO it, eighty percent of my problems would disappear right there."
Sharyn - "If living life is like driving a car, where the hell did you get your license?"
Sherry - "Responding to correspondence insensitively addressed: "Thank-you for your lovely letter . . . Mrs. and Mr. Sherry Thompson.""
Shelly - "If I only had a quarter for every person who admitted their faults instead of spewing out excuses...I'd have about $1.25..."
Sue - "My only piece of advice for women...."Grow a backbone, then stand up on your two hind-legs, and act like one!" I don't think being a woman is any excuse for being weak."
Susan - "Don't piss me off...I'm running out of places to hide the bodies."
Suzanne - "Subjugate me, edit me or ignore me at your peril. I may be a work in progress, but don't get in my way and don't cross my boundaries. They're there for a reason and you're not on the guest list."
Tamara - "Oops, did I step on your ego, li'l man?"
Tanya - "Get the hell out of my way because you couldn't possible have a clue where I'm headed, nor the capacity to accompany me there."
Terri - "Being a Bitch means never having to say you're sorry..."
Trudy - "Go shove a chopstick up your ass and rotate."
Vera - "It's a man's world...until a Bitch wakes him up."
Vicki - "There is dignity in complaining, which is merely a venting tool that serves to inform others. There is no dignity in whining, which is merely a venting tool for the release of useless hot air."
Yvonne - "Find another den mother. If I wanted kids I'd have some of my own!"
Amy - "The only difference between me and a rotweiler is lipstick."
Anke - "I have a voice and they'd better LISTEN."
Candi - "Don't tell me that I'm the best you've ever had, because I already know and don't need confirmation. Besides that, then I'd have to lie and tell you that you were too."
Beverly - "Bitch??? You bet, and damn proud of it."
Carmen - "What made my last relationship fail?...he had to go and fall in love with me...boo hoo"
Christine - "I am red-headed, Irish, 5'10", 200 pound witch. Let's call it genetic."
Deb - "So, were you born an asshole or are you a self-made man?"
Diata - ""Women yearn for change, and will make great sacrifices for it." --Lydia, in A Voice Compels Us: Voices of Salvadoran Women. Quote found in--Yearning: race, gender, and cultural politics-- by bell hooks."
Doreen - "The bigger the dick, the bigger the dickhead."
Jean - "Women and cats do as they please, men and dogs do as they're told"
Jolivette - "I AM the bitch in "BITCHES BREW" by Miles Davis."
Krystal - "whine...elsewhere."
Lisa - "PMS stands for Pack My Suitcase."
Lynne - "Quit beating yourself up - there's plenty of jerks out there waiting to do it for you!"
Magdalene - "Could you find your asshole on a rainy day or would the dripping just confuse you?"
Mary - "I would be a bitch, if I was any nicer!"
Megan - "Never conceited, but always convinced!"
Melinda - "No, (insert boss, ex, plumber, car salesman here) ,I don't mind you callin' me (insert "baby, sweetie, other obnoxious demeaning term of endearment here)" as long as you don't mind me callin' you a pencil-dicked, balding, pervert!!"
Michele - "Thanks for sharing... but do I look like a woman who gives a shit?"
Missie - "Bitch? Who, me? Damn right, and DAMN PROUD!"
Nancy - "I don't need a dick if I have half a brain!"
Patty - "There is no virtue in suffering as a result of what you allow others to do to you."
Patricia - "Whining for sympathy only makes you look pathetic"
Shana - "The best blonde joke I ever heard was my ex-husband."
Sarah - "Feminism is the radical notion that women are people."
Sara - "As a Heartless Bitch, I don't fight men, I fight sexism. If you're still offended, suck my clit."
Rhonda - "Put that thing away!!!"
Rachel - "I understand how your feeling....But I really don't give a shit!"
Pixie - "I am sick and tired of whiny little twits with concave bellies and big breasts who can use men more than I use make-up."
Philipp - "with good emotions people make bad literature"
Suzanne - "Sure, God made man before He made woman but then, you always produce a rough draft before completing the final masterpiece."
Tammy - "Honey, my pets are better companionship than you could ever be! Get a Clue!!"
Tammie - "I have no tolerance nor patience for the incompetent of the world, and you know who you are!"
Terri - "The nicest thing about being alone is that YOU aren't here to enjoy it with me."
Tricia - "Don't ruin something we never had."
Valerie - "Never Underestimate the Power of a Woman - if you do and live, you'll regret it."
Vicky - "Don't piss me off. I have a shovel and a big back yard."
Yes! I want to Read about more "Real Life Heartless Bitches"
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