My friends are starting
to say so:
- "I know
why you didn't get that job: you let the interviewer see you were
smarter than she was."
Have you ever had a fat,
brilliant, voluptuous woman try to pick you up? No? Maybe we should
talk.
On the other hand, I don't try to
pick up just anybody. If you want to make me really hot, talk
literature. Or politics. And I don't want to see any bigotry,
honey. An open fly is less ugly.
I'm into the 26th year of
a solid happy marriage, and this past year was also enlivened
by the love of two Fine Fancy Women -- I dunno, how heartlessly
bitchy is that?
I have more interesting things to
do than make a career out of prettiness. I haven't made a serious
attempt to lose weight in about ten years, and never will again. The
amount of mental energy I'd need to get thin could be used to write a
book a year. Looking like the Twat-of-the-Week is a full-time job,
dammit!
I'm not going to play dumb
or helpless just so you'll like me. Maybe I don't WANT you to
like me. (Yeah, that was the big revelation of the year, to finally
meet a warm, intelligent person whose friendship I didn't
want.)
Five years ago, I informed Gawd
that I would never "spread the word" again, and His people
could choke on it, for all I cared. I was a Fundamentalist at the time.
I quit being a Fun-damn-mentalist because being heartless isn't the same
as being a judgmental she-prick. (Can you be a universalist and a
Heartless Bitch? We're about to find out.)
I don't have to know all
the answers in advance.
I know when NOT to be a
Heartless Bitch; which is really Being
In Total
Control, Hot damn!
I'm inquisitive & spontaneous
enough to fill out this application on a whim, but serious enough to say
what I really think.
Actually, only Fred Phelps
thinks I'm a Heartless Bitch.
Yes! I want to read more from Real Life Heartless Bitches
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