My vocation as a Heartless Bitch is to amuse myself with my own clever rhetoric; if it's at the expense of the weak, the stupid, and the hapless, so much the better.

On Biological Determinism:

Men are not superior creatures for abiding by the rules they wrote, while women are not inferior beings because they have their own set of rules that don't include standing to pee.

On Relationships:

If I wanted a hairy, drooling beast pawing at me, I'd get a Rottweiler. They smell better, and most are housebroken.

On Motherhood:

Sorry, Ma, but you don't get to vindicate your own mistakes by watching history repeat itself.

On Opportunity:

Life is too short to stand sweetly by the wall, trying to look cute and hoping someone will ask you to dance.

On Codependence:

I'm not handing out emotional lollipops; go find another sucker.

On Perspective:

Close enough to be hurt is also close enough to inflict some serious damage.

On Survival:

Living is the best revenge.

Yes! I want to read more from Real Life Heartless Bitches

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