Claire
I used to be one of those "nice girls" - the ones that do what is expected, don't speak up for themselves, put everyone else first. I had a partner who I knew didn't love me, was a lot older than me and treated me like a child.
I came to my senses while healing from the effects of childhood sexual abuse - it took a long time to realise that I had the right to be angry about what happened, that it wasn't my fault and that I had the right to be safe and happy. But once I reached that point, I discovered that there were just as many people out there who wanted me to bury my story, to hide it and pretend it never happened. I'm sorry, I did that while I was a kid, I don't need to lie about the fact that my father raped me as a child to protect your delicate sensibilities. I decided at that point that if I was to heal, I needed people around me who were supportive of my healing, respectful of my needs and appreciated me for me, and if I couldn't get that from my current social circle, maybe I needed to find people who would. Heartless? Maybe. But it worked.
I separated from my partner, and remained single for 4 years while concentrating on my own needs and desires, learning to listen to myself again. I severed unhealthy relationships with family members who were more interested in maintaining peace than in hearing the truth. I went to the police and pressed charges - even though he wound up being acquitted due to lack of evidence, I faced my father in court and told my story, my way.
I decided to stop being the victim and found freedom.
Country: Australia
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