Karla
What makes me a Heartless Bitch? Let me count the
ways...
1. I don't suffer fools gladly. By "fool," I don't mean a person who
can't give me an on-the-spot doctoral dissertation on the history and
development of the eighth note or other such esoterica. Lord knows my own
brain is engaged in a constant battle between the highfalutin and the
trashy. I mean those who really should know better, and don't, and who
take pride in their ignorance, and then use it to paint my friends and me as
uptight assholes.
2. I don't take at all kindly to pushy people. And by "pushy," I
don't mean "passionate" or "persuasive." I mean those folks who decide,
out of nowhere, without consulting me, what I can and should do with my life,
and what I do and don't need to make me happy, and will not stop haggling until
I break down and do what they keep insisting I should do, and then won't stop
haggling until I agree that yes, indeed, my life was a complete void until I
renounced my secular humanist agnostic ways for the power of whatever religion,
faith, or creed said person has foisted upon me. (For the record, I don't
let it get as far as Step Two. And if people want to practice their own
religions, faiths, or creeds, aces!)
3. I don't go out with men simply because THEY like ME, I "feel bad" for
them, or I "need a boyfriend." Nor do I expect or encourage other women to
go out with men for these reasons. Or women to go out with other women, or
men with other men, or whomsoever.
4. I don't care if you pee standing up or sitting down-it's no excuse for
being a sexist douche.
5. I refuse to believe that men are Neanderthals and women are
harridans. Are we not all both of these things at various times?
Please.
6. Oh, and along those lines, men are NOT from Mars and women are not from
Venus. We are not different species. Yes, men and women are
different from each other and have different experiences. But it's not
like our brains are wired completely differently, or we aren't capable of
coexisting as equals. Let's please just throw this whole Battle of the
Sexes nonsense in the cesspool where it belongs.
7. I believe that so-called "fat," "unattractive" women have and should
have just as much right as any other person on the planet regarding whom we do
and do not find attractive and desirable. Per "Large Marge's" awesome
rant, please stop expecting us to want to date annoying, dull, abusive people
simply because we're fat. Also, we were not put on Earth in order to teach
so-called pretty people a lesson in what it means to be kind and tolerant.
Neither are mentally retarded or physically disabled people, so get over
it.
8. I have no tolerance for cutesy platitudes or artfully manipulative
evasiveness. Just tell me the plain, unvarnished truth and get it over
with.
9. I derive great spiritual solace from logic and reason.
10. I think "The Secret" is a complete scam and an utter load of horseshit,
and it makes me sick that so many otherwise thinking, intelligent people think
that if they read this book, it's going to be smooth sailing from here on
out.
Oh, and what else? I don't wear pink; I think "Lifetime: Television
for Women" is a fathomless insult, and I would much rather take a kickboxing or
martial arts class so I can kick ass instead of learning how to channel my
peaceful inner warrior goddess. That's not all, but I'm running out of
room.
Country: United States
Yes! I want to read more from Real Life Heartless Bitches
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