Kat
I come from an abusive past, parentally speaking, and had a tendency to get into relationships with idiots who were just as bad to me as my mother was. I was a downtrodden victim, an emotional child with little sense of self, let alone self-respect, living with man after man who acted stupid and fucked me emotionally.
But one day it all changed.
I don't remember exactly when it was that I figured it out, but I know that the epiphany was like lightning at a picnic. I'd been single for a while, and when I finally gave myself the chance to be attachment-free and self-reliant, it occurred to me that *no one* completes any other person. I figured out that I was a bit broken, but that my wholeness was something I had to make from scratch, and honestly, I was okay with that. I have to admit that I breathed a big sigh of relief. I'd never felt better. After all, what's better than being in charge of your own destiny?
I started going to therapy and learning how to be okay with myself. I tapped into my intellect and realized that my brains would be my greatest strength. Years later, I'm in a relationship again--with a kind, loving, respectful person instead of a co-dependent nutjob.
I know it doesn't sound like much of an accomplishment to figure out that being single is okay and that being truly self-reliant is even better, but believe me, it changed my life.
I'm a Heartless Bitch because I'm strictly my own person. I'm no one's "my girl," no one's trophy, no one's albatross--I'm just me. Me, with my hobbies, strengths, failures, favorite recipes, and mistakes. I'll never again rely on another human being for my own emotional security. Phrases like "You complete me" and "I want to be your everything" make me retch, as does the attitude that any woman is supposed to be a perfectly demure people-pleaser without the audacity to keep her own best interests at heart. It's not that I don't think of others--I just always make sure to take care of Number One.
Country: United States
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