Alice
I'm a Heartless Bitch because when I was growing up, I was determined not to grow up to be my mother, who was and is and always shall be the "nice woman,", aka the Human Doormat. Some guy is trying to sell you a computer by saying "you can store your recipes on it", because he doesn't know you have a PhD? That's OK, just smile and nod! Car got plowed into by an absentminded truck driver? Oh, don't worry, we'll pay to have the car fixed ourselves! Everything rude, inconvenient or insensitive must be tolerated with a smile because otherwise you may look like one of THOSE GIRLS. (Poor? Ethnic? Assertive? Whatever, they're ALL bad!)
I'm sorry, but I'm pretty sure my mom didn't work in a factory for two years and take care of her eight siblings in order to grow up, move to a great neighborhood and produce a spineless housewife who marries her equally spineless "nice guy" high school crush. I'd rather swallow mercury than settle down with a "nice guy." Guys who use the word "nice" to describe themselves instead of the far more accurate "cowardly and boring introvert" really piss me off, and I'm done giving them a chance, my phone number or even the back of my hand anymore.
I WILL however reserve the back of my hand for the following: damn teenagers talking through the movie; people who by a pack of gum with a personal check; guys who holler at you from the back of a truck while driving by a 90 MPH, like you're gonna take a flying leap and grab hold of the bumper in response to such a pickup line; that religious chick in my high school who cried at lunch about her "relationship problems" EVERY DAY FOR TWO YEARS, regardless of whether they were real or imaginary; WalMart greeters; soul love ballads where all the lyrics consist of a moaning guy and his thirty-seven-moaning-guy-backup-singers describing exactly how they will be good to you in various ways; Thomas Kinkade.
Fucking Thomas Kinkade.
Country: United States
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