I was born a Bitch. I come from a long, proud line of Bitches. I didn't *become* a Bitch so much as cease to pretend that I *wasn't* a Bitch.

Being a Heartless Bitch means that I will take care of my own problems and I expect you to take care of yours. It means I don't have to pretend to feel sorry for people who are trying to manipulate me. I look you dead in the eye and tell you the rules I play by. Bust them and yes, you will fail my class or I will dump your sorry self, all fair and even. And when the angry wail goes up, "What are you, some kind of HEARTLESS BITCH???" --all I have to say is "Yup."

It saves a lot of time.

I'm a Bitch because I'm impatient. It's way quicker to haul that damned appliance out to the dumpster myself. Yeah, I know, I know, "you were going to get to it any day now," well, too late, I already did it.

I'm a Bitch because I walk tall and proud and fast. When I go down the concourse of an airport, people part in front of me like they're the Red Sea and I'm Charlton Heston.

Car dealers know I'm a Bitch. I don't want any car *that* badly, and I don't get tired out. One used-car dealer told my ex-husband, "your wife is as tough as an old boot," and my ex agreed. They were both right.

Country: United States of America

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