Lori
I'm the proud disappointment of my parents. My dad especially
was hoping I'd end up being a sweet and innocent sugar pink doll, growing up to
get a degree as a doctor or lawyer and then giving it all up to get married and
be a stay at home wife and mommy serving her husband and children to her dying
days. Wow, I don't think he ever imagined just how far I could get from
THAT stereotype. I think I even surprised myself. Trying to
shove me into the female status quo has been like putting Gonzo in a dress and
calling him Miss Piggy. I might do a hilarious impression of an effeminate
woman and even enjoy the gown, but I'm still the "whatever" of the group and
everybody knows it.
I look at women squealing over "these adorable little Prada pumps I found"
like they are aliens from outer space. Songs about soul mates and romance
that other women weep and obsess over are utterly nauseating to me. The
idea of motherhood and pregnancy makes cling to the ceiling. Endless
talks, articles, magazines, books, TV shows, etc. about men and what makes them
tick and how to attract them gives me hives. For the love of good sex and
chocolate, WHAT is so damned hard to figure out about men other than they're
people with their own personalities? You either like them or you don't,
and vice versa.
Nobody comes to me with their problems anymore because I really don't
care. People chase their problems like dogs chase their tails and
unfortunately, it's not as cute to watch. I don't want to hear about what
part of your body is breaking down this time, nor do I want to hear about your
boo boos in medical detail. I still maintain you must like your shitty job
because you've been Bitching about it for over a year and yet you won't go
job-hunting for something else. Relationship advice isn't worth the carbon
dioxide it's wasted with, and really, if you're coming to ME for relationship
advice, then you are seriously fucked and already know it. I could beat
people senseless with a Clue By Four broken out of their own stupidity, but they
really enjoy it too much. I'm into a lot of kinky things, but playing Dom
to societal masochism ain't one of them.
I can sew, change a tire, bake cookies from scratch, and build a
computer. I'd like to leave the world the same way I came in: With an
orgasm. I draw web comics in my free time, I adore my rose garden, and I
look hot in both pink and black. Yeah, I'm a weird and happy perverted
Heartless Bitch, and I'm having WAY too much fun with that.
Country: United States
Yes! I want to read more from Real Life Heartless Bitches
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