I was directed to this place by another friend of mine, a current member of Heartless Bitches International. Recently I opened up a CafePress store based on the theme of Bitchiness. Why? Because I never get any damn nice shoes or pants for me. Reading through the list of causes to join, I found myself going, "WOW, that sounds like me!" I consider my bitchiness not only to be a skill, but also to be something I take great pride in. My mother calls me a Bitch with the greatest of honor, and I am always glad to remind her I learned it from her. Here are a few of the questions that I've asked myself in passing...

1. Why does it seem the nail polish on my middle finger is always the first to chip? (Overuse?)
2. Why do people keep telling me to lower my damn voice?
3. Would my brother's steel-toed boots or my 3 1/2 inch heeled boots hurt more going up someone's ass?
4. Why is it that a complete lack of grammar in speech makes me contemplate putting my heeled shoe or my brother's steel-toed boots UP someone's ass?
5. WHY CAN'T THEY PUT THE GODDAMN TOILET SEAT DOWN?! IT TAKES TWO SECONDS!
6. Why does it make me so angry?
7. Why does talking to a cat who answers only with "meow" provide more stimulating conversation to me than 80% of the modern population?
8. Why do I want to maim the cast of reality TV shows?
9. Why do I shout the word "tampon" at passing males to watch them squirm?
10. Why is it that modern pop singers provoke only my unbridled and unhindered seething rage at the insipid and inevitable decline of Western society as we know it due to a degradation of intelligence, morality, quality, and SENSE OF DIGNITY that has become a faded memory?

To all of these questions, and many more, I could only come up with one reasonable answer: Because I'm a Heartless Bitch.

Country: United States of America

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