Jennifer
I am a Heartless Bitch because, at 27, I have chosen at this time to be both single and childless. I am Heartless because I would rather be friends with a man than to fuck him -- shallow is the new deep, it seems, and as always I am a non-joiner. Some rejections of a sexual advance, no matter how politely firm, have been interpreted as personal sleights -- not my problem. If someone can't respect me and my decisions now, they're sure as hell not going to respect them in the morning, and getting involved with that kind of crap is disrespectful to myself.
I am a Bitch because I respect myself enough to not put up with bullshit, whether it comes from someone else or from myself. I am a Heartless Bitch because I don't grant concessions on this to people I have granted friendship status; if I would dismiss a stranger or acquaintance for saying or doing something patently offensive, why would I put up with the same behavior from someone with whom I have an emotional attachment? The only difference between the two is that in one case I may have exercised poor judgment of character, a condition which is quickly rectified through attempting to wade through the muck and come out on the same side. If that doesn't happen, I know I chose poorly and move on. Some people accuse me of giving up too easily on people; funny how those people never accused me of being a doormat before I re-grew my spine.
As an adult child of an alcoholic, I realise that I am far from being without issues. I am proactive about identifying, tackling, and eliminating those issues through self-evaluation and talk therapy. I am an introvert by nature to begin with; the work I am doing on myself requires that I take time to be alone, and some people take offense to that. They'd rather I spread myself too thin now and do a half-assed job of volunteering to chair this or to engage in fund-raising for that than to wait until I'm in a better place emotionally and can actually give half a shit about what's going on. If setting boundaries and sticking to them and deciding that I have to regain my strength before lending it to help others makes me a Heartless Bitch, then so be it. I'm crossing through the No Man's Land between victimhood and empowerment and gaining ground every day; yes, I'm being selfish right now. It's a good kind of selfish. Fuck you if it offends you and you can't deal with it.
Country: United States
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