Jan
I watched my mother silently swallow my father's
verbal/emotional/psychological abuse for years, and wondered "Why?" When
I finally got enough nerve to ask, she said, "That's just the way he is.
I'm used to it. Be quiet so he doesn't get mad again." It was then I
knew I would NEVER be like her-so in a convoluted way, SHE became my
role model.
At about the age of 12, he mistook me for his next victim -my mother
wasn't "fun" because he couldn't make her cry anymore. I decided then
that if my mother chose to put up with him, that was her problem-I
wasn't going to spend the next 6years walking on eggs and being
tormented. He was shell-shocked by the venomous wrath I unleashed upon
him. The unbridled look of fury in my eyes and the sheer force of my
conviction behind the torrent of reasons why I would not tolerate his
abuse made him step back- and I believe he was convinced I had gone
insane and would hurt him if he continued. He called me a "crazy Bitch
with ice water running through my veins." She remained a victim, I
refused to become one. Thus, my journey began.
I have lived in the same small Louisiana city for 32 years and my
reputation for being opinionated, confident, argumentative, sarcastic,
outspoken, and assertive precedes me. Some of my critics, aka victims,
will say I am spiteful, malicious, hyper-cynical, and rude. Everywhere I
go, someone will know me, or know of me, though I do have few friends
who applaud my ability to express myself and not care about what's
"politically correct". They affectionately introduce me to the
uninitiated as "The Bitch". When asked, "Why do you call her THAT?" they
say, "Fuck with her, and you'll find out." Women usually get the hint
and walk away. Men can't seem to resist-they just have to "show me who's
boss". They open their mouth and find themselves in a verbal knife fight
armed with nothing but their dick in their hand-which quickly shrivels
up to avoid my slicing commentary. After I have intentionally scarred
them for life with sarcasm and ridicule, I dismiss them. Next time they
see me, they will deny ever having met me and go out of their way to
avoid me.
I am a Licensed Practical Nurse, working on my Bachelor's, a Licensed Real Estate Agent, a Paralegal, and a Bartender. Every crowd has a smart ass with a stupid comment that they can't keep to themselves, so I tell them, "I can kill you in several different ways that won't show up in the autopsy, resuscitate you so I can enjoy killing you again, find a vacant wooded lot anywhere in the country to bury you on, plan my own legal defense IF I get caught, and use my bar card for a free drink to celebrate my acquittal." Funny how everyone suddenly has to clear their throat and is late for an appointment-all at the same time.
My son is 20yrs old (still with me), autistic and terminally ill with Cystic Fibrosis. My daughter was found murdered 2 yrs ago, packed in ice in a motel bathtub 8 days after her 22nd birthday. Did it fuck me up? For about three months until I realized she's the one that's dead-I can't help that. But I CAN help myself and a son that's still alive. Am I cold, devoid of feelings? No. I am a realist. There's no throwing back the cards once they're dealt-play 'em and do the best you fucking can.
Ignorance can be fixed. Rule: Don't ever try to intimidate me by starting a conversation on a controversial topic you know little about, as I enjoy researching a variety of subjects, and love to engage in a lively debate. Come prepared or I will make you cry in public. And then I'll laugh at you.
Mental illness is not a valid excuse for acting like a slut, an idiot, or a fuckwad, nor is it to be used to get attention/sympathy. You want my attention? Go ahead, act stupid. I will use your mental illness as my DEFENSE for repeatedly slapping the holy fuck out of you. Attempt suicide and want my sympathy? Oh, I'm so sorry...Well, there's always next time. Sterilization should be mandatory. Take your happy pill when you're supposed to, and go to therapy. Relax with a good book… "SUICIDE...Doing it Right The First Time"
Women who have kids from multiple marriages and use them as a tax-free paycheck piss me the fuck off and I have no problem telling them they should have been spayed after the first one. I won't even start on the stupid men that married them. This topic is a 10 page rant in itself.
I have no use for people who constantly find themselves in a hole and just don't have the sense God gave a doodlebug to quit digging. They don't ask for my advice a second time.
Country: United States
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