Alex
You know those party games where you're asked to define a friend in one word? Maybe I just have crappy, unoriginal friends, but they always come up with "spunky." I think it's their polite way of saying "Heartless Bitch." Considering I'm filling out this application, they're probably right.
But what's so bad about being a Heartless Bitch? I do what I want, when I want, and I don't let anything get in my way. To others, this may be Bitchy. I call it living a fulfilled and happy life.
Last week, I was in San Francisco with some friends and had some bad pasta for lunch. (If you're wondering, it was at the Café Zoetrope. Considering my reaction to the penne, I don't suggest you go there.) This resulted in standing in line at a nearby Starbucks, barely holding down the contents of my stomach while I waited for someone to bring a key. (Which was for customers only, despite my nausea. Fucking assholes.) When an innocent man with a full bladder cut me in line, I banged on the door and said, "Listen. I'm about to vomit. Get out of my way." and shoved past him. Bitchy? Maybe. But on the bright side, he didn't end up wearing penne with basil sauce and chocolate gelato on his shoes.
So in what universe does Bitchy have to be tantamount to rude? If telling someone that s/he has wronged me in one way or another is a cardinal sin, then fuck it! I'm probably going to hell anyway, I giggled at that "What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? THE HOLOCAUST!" joke.
Country: United States of America
Yes! I want to read more from Real Life Heartless Bitches
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