Trucelt
I had the immense good fortune to read "Bitches and Abdicators" at an
impressionable age. In the book, Tony Scalia defines the word Bitch as
"Woman who is going to get her way." This single phrase saved me from
following the road of my Mother, a sweet, miserable little southern belle, who
wormed and cried her way through an abusive marriage for 17 years, then
proceeded to attempt to spend the rest of her life sucking the marrow out of the
lives of her children. (Go for it big brother, she's all yours!)
My parents decided it was more important (and convenient) for me to go to
finishing school, rather than to college. My father's argument being that
since he was so successful, he would be able to introduce me to any number of
eligible young executives without having to go to all the expense of paying
tuition.
Yeah, so-long folks, and thanks for all the food! ! ! At 17 I got a
job in military intelligence for several years, then worked my way into the
Contracts dept. of a large Gov't consulting firm. Today I am Subcontracts
Manager of another firm, and spend the majority of my time helping Small
Businesses find work in the government marketplace.
My life, in short, is based on empowerment. I find it hilarious when
companies go on about managers "empowering" their employees. Um, the mere
assumption that they need you to do that for them, is condescending! I
advise my fellow managers to shut up and listen for a change. (in more
professional terms, of course!) Then the employees will empower the
Company.
I also mentor young women who are coming out of dysfunctional backgrounds
(often institutionalized at a young age) into the workforce. I teach them
what I did to recover from the nightmare that was my family.
Bottom line, I made a decision about what sort of person I wanted to be. .
. what sort of Woman, Citizen, Human, Sister, Daughter, Employee, Friend, Date,
Girlfriend etc. . . and I choose to be that, regardless of other people's
behavior.
Do that, and nobody else's dysfunction can touch you. It really is
that simple.
Recently I followed up on a suspicion that something was not right with my
boyfriend. After a long series of questions he admitted to having cheated
on me. (Did I mention I'm a trained interr . . . I mean negotiator?)
;-) When he admitted it, I calmly looked across the table at him and said
"Then we're done here."
The next day he asked if we couldn't still be friends, 'cause he "really
liked" me and would "miss hanging out with" me.
I told him: "I choose my friends by their values and priorities, and from
what I can see, you have the values and priorities of a reptile."
He was floored. He couldn't believe I didn't really like him,
after all I'd "had stars in my eyes for him" only two days before? (Which
was true, I was crushed, but let's not tell him that.)
I told him "No, I had stars in my eyes for the man I thought you were; the
man you represented yourself to be."
Country: United States of America
Yes! I want to read more from Real Life Heartless Bitches
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