Sheila
Essentially, I hate having to prove qualities about myself. I speak for myself, who I am shouts louder than I ever could. But I really dig this website, so I'll give it a go with a few stories...
I believe in empathy, and hate apathy. Chapping my ass today: beggars who just panhandle for change, while sitting on the street. I wish they'd at least TRY, that would make me shell out a dollar, you know? Show me there is a resourceful, scheming mind at work, that they don't plan to sit on the same street for the next month. Make origami shapes out of scrap paper, sing, mime, do SOMETHING to at least try to earn the money, show they aren't a total lazy-ass, and have a sense of humor about circumstances beyond their control. Better yet, be resourceful and scheme a way to clean up and BEG for a job at Taco Bell, MacDonald's, the dump, wherever. Anything is better than nothing. Hell, beg ME for a job; I'd for sure let them mow my lawn or wash my car or help me paint my bathroom or whatever, and have a helluva lot more respect for them simply trying.
I'm a scrappy girl, I've struggled and schemed and talked my way into enough places to know that a basic foot in the door anywhere can be accomplished if you say the right things, or are just enough of a pain in the ass that they want to shut you up. After that, God-given talent takes you far, but hard work seals the deal. I also have no patience for complacency or boredom; there is ALWAYS something you could be planning, thinking about, doing. Like Ani DiFranco says (and I'm sure you're sick of getting Ani quotes, so I'll spare you except for this one): "You've got your whole life to do something, and that's not too long." Also, to me, there's nothing as offensive as someone who is uninteresting and unopinionated. There is just no excuse for that. I don't care if you're obsessed with Pac Man, Star Trek, or nuclear medicine; having a passion and interest in something is the easiest thing in the world to do.
I HATE whining. OH, I hate it so. For all the energy spent whining about something, you could be spending it remedying the situation. Also equally pointless and annoying: how SO MANY people in the US get SO worked up about "being disrespected." Entire talk shows, street gangs, lawsuits, are founded on this idea of "being disrespected." All I have to say is: if one really KNOWS where they stand and WHO they are, they can't be disrespected. If you've got an innate, internal sense of yourself, you don't give a flip what other people say to you. You roll your eyes, think about how lame it makes THEM look, and move on with your life, cause there are way more important things to do than create imaginary drama with strangers.
Actual stories: When I found out that my boyfriend had another girl on the side, I called him up, and was stoked to get his voicemail, because I was saving myself drama. I knew there was nothing to talk about. His actions had rendered him a non-entity in my world; he lost his voting rights in The World of Sheila. I knew the circumstances, I knew my standards, and how I felt. I told him that I hope dating me had provided him a sufficient enough ego boost to last him for a while, 'cause I was done. And also, that he sucked for cheating, but what really bothered me was that I no longer had any respect for him; I have no respect for dishonest people. How can I keep dating someone I don't respect? Then I changed my phone number. I didn't have the stomach to listen to endless pathetic voice messages from him, didn't have the time to spend ducking his calls and visits, didn't care enough for a confrontations with him trying to explain something that needed no explanation. When I'm done, I'm done.
I have two stickers on the back of my car: Wage Peace and Buck Fush. I thought long and hard before I put them on there, because in this day and age, and especially living in southern California, people get hassled for their political views. But, I'll go toe-to-toe with anyone who wants to start something about politics. I know the issues and my views; I don't just quote Fox News/CNN sound bytes.. so that said, here's the story:
Driving in Long beach a few weeks ago, a little harmless-looking old man in a floppy hat and an SUV cut me off, and then slowed down, got beside me, and gestured for me to roll down the window. I obliged Grandpa, thinking he was a lost tourist or something. Then he asked me if I was aware of the "silly stickers someone had put on my car." Yes, I replied, I put them there. Granpa's face turned bright red, and he started shaking his fist at me, and sputtering, "well then, you're a STUPID woman!" To which I replied: "No, you're a stupid MAN, because you apparently voted for the motherfucker." Then I rolled up my window and refused to look at him as he stayed right beside me for five lights, staring me down, fuming, honking. Finally, I cut HIM off, and lost him on a side street. I can't decide if I feel worse about cussing at an old man, or about his sad little life that makes chewing out a random stranger seem important.
I'm really reaching for stories, because a) I usually don't care enough to bother with conflict enough to create stories, and b) I pay so little attention to how my actions are received by others, that I probably miss out on "potential stories" just cause I'm so wrapped up in, um, living my life.
Country: United States of America
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