Jamey
LOL, I thought I was a Heartless Bitch before, because I was
Bitchy....I have discovered the error of my ways. I wasn't a Heartless Bitch, I
was just another angry brat. Coming to terms with the fact that no one is
responsible for me but me (IE, growing the fuck up), I kicked myself in the ass
for waiting so long and embraced freedom.
I experienced a systematic stripping of everything that was pounded into me
as a small girl as "important". Marrying a man, having a house, raising kids.
Sacrificing myself in order to give others the chance to have a freaking life.
"Yes, Momma, I am going to heaven, everyone has a life except me". Yeesh. I had
always thought that my self worth was dependant upon others perception of
me...till I figured out my perception of myself was pretty shitty, and I was
going to live and die just like my mother, bitter and withered. Oh, fuck no, I
won't!
The man left (for someone who looked suspiciously like his mother, EW), the
house literally burned down, and the kids grown up and moved away, I found out
that I was still here... and I changed.
I took the step, and I haven't looked back.
It was hard, that first time, telling someone that I did not give much of a
tinkers damn of their opinion of me and "what I should do with my
life".
Yes, I earned that raised eyebrow, that shocked looked, the pin drop
silence, my ear to ear grin.
I worked hard to forgive myself. I stopped being angry at people for taking
what I offered (me being a doormat). I became passionate about myself and my
life, I care and I feel, and I am a woman and proud, I can say "NO" and mean
it...& don't look at me like a piece of meat, pal...DAMN! I love me
now!
I don't march to anyone's else's drummer...I made my own drum, and I bang it
when I want to. I am happier and more free than I could have imagined. If people
don't like that I step away from convention (run screaming, more like), and
break that societal mold that tries to force me to be anything other that what I
am...tough shit, sugar, I ain't playing that game no more. If that makes me a
Heartless Bitch...your point would be....what???
My two secrets of life now, and I share them whenever I can...because they
rock ;) :
- No matter what...100% of the time, I will always wake up with myself. I
will ALWAYS be there for ME.
- Now, isn't that the person I should work for hardest to make happy? Damn
skippy, it is.
Country: United States of America
Yes! I want to read more from Real Life Heartless Bitches
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