Top Ten Reasons Why Kel is a Heartless Bitch.

10.) Drives a Fiat named "BITCH RED" really fast and cutting off anybody and everybody.

9.) Uses the last bit of toilet paper to remove makeup, leaving none for the next user, and not changing the roll.

8.) Kicks everyone out of her computer lab exactly on time. Even if it means shutting off the main power and the clods losing their work.

7.) Is a Riot Grrrl and fucking proud of it.

6.) Is a radical postmodern feminist and fucking proud of it.

5.) Hordes the wine at parties.

4.) Can out anger and angst Alanis Morrissette, Tori Amos, and Courtney Love anytime.

3.) Has dreams of stealing a tank and rolling over the White House Lawn, usuring in a new era, of rule by angry women only.

2.) Blows smoke in non-smoker's face.

1.) Would rather die than have anyone take advantage or control of her.

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