Despite our best efforts to dissuade you, many of you have still decided to write to us with your problems, complaints and crises of the moment. We don't have a trained therapist on staff, and this isn't "Dear F*ckin' Abbey", but we DO have Bonnie, who has graciously volunteered her time and heartless perspectives in order to minister to (or macerate) the misguided, with "Dear Fuckin' Bon..."

January 9, 2003

Name: Poo MaGoo

WeeWilly: sammy

shoesize: 6.0

RetardationLevel: 110

MyBossMakes: 25,000

AsIf: NA

FakeDegrees: NA

blowupdolls: 1 or 2

wimp: on

IAmALoser: on

COMMENTS: I have had a significant emotional event. The girl I was dating for 18 months left me for a lesbian. The problem is that during that whole time we had sex nightly, never argued, and I thought it was great. This lesbian enters the picture and the next thing I know I am on the street. Is this normal for a perfrctly normal heterosexual woman, 40 years old, good looking to jump to a lesbo when she obviously has issues with me. Right now I think that I was such a man that she couldn't be with another man, so she decided to jump to the other side. WTF?

Oh, dear me, you're really THAT much of a mayan, that she just couldn't settle for another pale male replacement? Whooo hooo!

I would probably have had a little more sympathy for you if you hadn't written that ridiculous statement. Here's the bottom line, does it really matter WHO she left you for if she left you for someone else? And no, "perfectly normal heterosexual" women don't tend to "jump to lesbo" (holy shit, did you really write that? Have you read ANY news in the last two decades?) However, while heterosexual women don't (I have to write this again, it just cracks me up that much) "jump to lesbo", women who are bi or lesbians who have closeted themselves for whatever reasons may just make that old jump at any time and for whatever reason works for her, including any men she's involved with being "such a man" that she knows she doesn't want to do THAT anymore. Furthermore, maybe the lesbian she met was just a much more interesting and fun person than you are. (Or as the Supreme Bitch snarked, "maybe she gave better head.") Heee.

As for the fact that you "thought it was great", sometimes one person in a relationship does think that when they're getting what they want and need, and they're utterly unaware that the other person's needs and desires aren't being addressed, even that the other person is deeply uhappy. In terms of your "I'm such a mayan" bluster, which tends to denote utter disregard for female consideration like, say, feelings and communication and HER orgasm, that seems likely... (Oh, wait, that's right, the really cool and strong and great men *DO* care about those things as well, that's why some of them are Heartless Bitches.)

The one other thing that stands out in your whinge is that after "This Lesbian" enters the picture, you're out on the street. Would this be literally? Maybe your ex also was interested in someone who has their own roof and can take care of herself rather than a bloodsucking leech.

Ultimately, it doesn't sound like such a shock, though your unconsciousness about who your ex really was seems significant. I suggest that you work on your own independence and self-sufficiency, and listen more carefully to future partners. Your trying to make this "about" the lesbianism issue is a way for you to not *really* look at what was or wasn't good in your relationship, in my opinion. That's just reinforced by the "I'm such a man" bullshit, which seems like an easy and stereotypical way not to really examine and take responsibility for your part in what was and was not going right in the relationship, especially for your ex.
bon