Despite our best efforts to dissuade you, many of you have still decided to write to us with your problems, complaints and crises of the moment. We don't have a trained therapist on staff, and this isn't "Dear F*ckin' Abbey", but we DO have Bonnie, who has graciously volunteered her time and heartless perspectives in order to minister to (or macerate) the misguided, with "Dear Fuckin' Bon..."

May 06, 2002

Dear Fuckin' Bon" (His supposed subject): Poor little thing..

(His true Subject): I hate women! A lot! 'Cause they don't like me, the horrid things, and I can't get any! So I hate them, hate them all!

What a great site, from a technical point of view, at least. Original color scheme, clean, fast - but, what a narrow minded, pathetic, pissed-off teenage-rage mentality that fuels the subject matter! What a waste of talent & energy!

This letter, conversely, is the epitome of calm rational communication, filled with peace and love and understanding. *huge moist snort*

You criticize whiners, yet look at your membership - the smallest, sub-minority of woman that just can't handle the stress of personal relationships, sexual innuendo, or perhaps just good sex! ..These being the most natural behaviors of most life on the planet! Can you tell me of one member that has never knowingly fashioned themselves in the very way that attracts attention from the same men you all hate? I don't think so.

Well, I reckon the straight MEN who are members haven't "knowingly fashioned themselves in the very way that attracts... men ...etc. etc. hork et al." and I know a huge quantity of the women here renounce all that bullshit. So I, (and I have a lot more of a clue of our membership --personally in a few cases-- than you do), KNOW so. Kiss my everlovin' bitch ass. Or would that be ever bitch-lovin' ass? *chortle*

How about this..

After reading it, I have to give it back, How *about* that? What was your point?

You're a hot chick in college, used to get all the looks from the guy's, but Ten years into your marriage you put on 40 pounds of shimmering blubber, chain-smoke cigarettes while keeping your fat ass parked on a sofa in front of a TV set as you pop down bon-bon's! Gee, I don't know why your husband left you for that good looking chick next door?

Well, whatever turns you on, kiddo. I don't know why you want me to comment on your fantasies, but since you ask, I can only say that given how much you appear to loathe women and feel unable to communicate with us, I'm sure that you're on the right road to live your dreams.

The problem with you woman (the ones in this loosers club, more specifically) is that you just don't understand men, yourself, or human nature in general. Let me give you a very short course: The fact is, all humans evolved, very recently I might add, from animals not unlike the other primates that live on Earth today. If you have ever watched our cousins and the way they behave, you will see many behavioral similarities between "us." (Yes, we are actually primates too, in case you don't know. (that's why some of you shave your legs!)

Would this mean you're *devolving*? Interesting. *snicker* I do assume that you don't want the male members of HBI to shave their legs. Oh, and please tell your cousins to stop all that nonsense, we don't need to hear about that kind of thing here.

BTW, what does all this have to do with anything? We aren't the ones having relationship problems. Since you clearly are, I suggest you try to look at people, particularly females, as people. It would be a remarkable help.

The females lure the males both by scent and visual signals such as bright swelling sex organs, while the males respond by displaying colors, demonstrating dominance, and acting like asses, in general.

I gotta introduce you to some of the "nice guys" that forever are whinging at us that they *don't* do any of that so why won't we fuck THEM (either). You're all losers, Mr. Vitriol, and you all have dipsticking on the brain. I wish there were more to ANY of you.

This is also the classic manipulation: blablabla you should be attractive blabla it's your fault I can't get any blabla why are you so meeeeeeeean.

I won't even waste my time suggesting to you that your bitter "can't get none so I hate anyone with a vagina that I can't have access to" attitude may have something to do with why women are so unwelcoming to you. Or maybe you even hate us when we're not. You strike me as an all-around woman hater.

By the way, which of our sex organs do we flash at you when they're "bright and swelling." Guess I'll tell Ethel to be sure to go sit on some nettles a spell before you come a'courtin'.

Now what makes any of you think that you do not fit into this scenario someplace?

Because we don't. Your fantasies are all about YOU, baby. (neener neener)

Look at that image of the "chick" on your home page, it's still fresh in my memory. She has scant covering of what appears to be very nice, firm, breasts. (stop drooling, Flintstone, it's a graphic and her phone number isn't posted) Her body is shapely, appears to be healthy. She has lovely red lips. Her hair appears to be smooth and healthy. All of these are visual signs that any male primate will notice immediately. So much information, even from a two-dimensional graphic image!

Oh my, you've certainly memorized and analysed that artist's work. I bet you'd like to spank her for being so naughty.

If you don't want to get these kinds of responses,

No, no. Again, that's all YOU. We don't mind respectful men showing courteous interest or being interested or complimentary. I think YOU are the one who has a problem with women being attractive and making our OWN choices around our sexuality. You focus on this instead of what a bitter, boring, lecherous whinebag you are. It's so much easier than developing interests and working on your own personality.

try wearing clothes that keep your protruding nipples and breasts from showing, don't wear shirts that expose your belly buttons, don't wear bright lipstick that makes your face look like something a monkey will want to fuck, and throw away the ultra-short cut-offs that expose the edges of your genital hair! High-heels make your ass stick out and up, which is yet another sign that you may need something we have. Didn't your mommy teach you these things when you were a little girl? Even the fucking Victorians, as stupid as they were, understood that the males of our species will take notice of such things!

Sure, as soon as you cut off your dick and balls so that your "package" won't be interesting or distracting. Though I suspect it's not either of those, or you wouldn't be so upset about attractive women.

YOU are your problem. Either we're all fat and ugly or we should tape our breasts? Either way, *your* misery is all OUR fault? You couldn't possibly be responsible for your own situation, now could you? Of course not, you're a dweeb!

Does that hurt you? Is that insulting? Does it make you feel small, inferior? Tough fucking shit! That's the way it is. Do I think you should hide all your female traits?

Do you think we care what you think, or want?

Simply, No. It would be unnatural,

Precisely what I was going to say.

but if you can't handle the realities of life, maybe you should! I'm not the one with the sensitivity complex.

Of course you are! WE're not upset about your little willy, you're the one totally bent out of shape about our nipples and shorts. You're the one who can't deal with reality. Women are PEOPLE, individuals who are all different from one another. (Aside to readers; I know he's not getting this, but I feel obligated to try. *shrug*). Just because you see women's personalities as being only guardians of the pussy you can't get doesn't mean that little delusion of yours is correct. If you can get past the woman as cunt idea, you may make some progress.

Part of the problem is that religions such as the Christians and Muslims have misguided society into thinking we are the offspring of some kind of holy, self-righteous space alien. On the other end of the spectrum we have extremist left wing, lifer-college student/professors that think we should live in some kind of repressive society where everyone wears the same suit, to live some kind of politically correct joke of a life that takes care not to offend all the sensitivities of all the cry-babies in the world, and breed in test tubes so we don't get our hands dirty!

Do you have a point here? Your philosophizing is really tiring and boring, and I can't tell where you're going with it except that you hate women and we should tape our nipples, except that you want us to give you some.

You are all crazy, pathetic, and if not so stupid, I would actually feel sorry for you. The simple key to human happiness is understanding what you are, first and foremost.

Great. What precisely are you, besides enraged and righteous and dangerously obsessed with female anatomy? (and I don't mean that lightly. You're a big ol' whackmobile, buddy. Seek help.)

Where we humans do stand apart from the other animals is our collective intelligence.

So why are you obsessing about us hiding our nipples, again?

(Although this trait varies tremendously among some of you, obviously.) As a general rule, our personal relationships can, and often do, enjoy a high level of intellectual beauty, sensuality, and romance, all of which heightens the fulfillment of our deepest animal desires.

But you can't get a relationship (or get any, for that matter), isn't that why you're so enraged in the first place? Maybe if nobody can "live up to" or will "put up with" your "ideal" it might be possible your fantasy of "ideal" is flawed?

Naaaah, it's just them women, lockin' up that access. Incidentally, "intellectualspeak" doesn't really help, you know. You can spew intellectualism out your ass, and we can still tell whether there's a genuine personality underneath. If you can't ante up some real man, all the spewing in the world (of any kind) won't help.

When in balance, it is the ultimate experience. The reason this sort of thing makes your group "sick to your stomach" is that your membership is part of a sub-group of our species that has not evolved to the level necessary to interact in this way. Too bad for you. Frankly, I'm amazed you've been able to read this far..

Thanks. It *has* been difficult slogging through your projections and your mind-numbing paranoid misogynistic bullshit. I guess we'll have to be content in our own balanced lives. Incidentally, we don't get "sick to our stomachs" about whackjobs like you. We just point and snicker.

And since WE aren't the ones whinging about relationships, let alone being "sick" about them, I guess that's all yours too, oh, Sir Young and Restless.

I can't imagine being in a more frustrating and meaningless life than by being too cultured to understand the primordial instincts that motivates human desire, yet still lacking the capacity to enjoy the intellectual fulfillment of a deeply intimate relationship. You are basically fucked (or more correctly, NOT fucked!) So you collectively whine about the rest of us, recluse yourselves from society and try to have meaningful relationships with yourselves at the expense of your dildo!

Project much? You can't get laid? Poor boy. We don't have that problem, but we don't have difficulty taking responsibility for our lives. Since you're so angry AT us, I'm guessing that many of the manipulator/stoopid characterizations in rants hit close to home for you. You're not very good at them, though. Don't type angry!

You are the same rude bitches that answer phones for the rest of us who are living more complete and successful lives. You are the same bitches that act like you just got raped because someone performed a legal pass on a highway where you were driving 10 MPH under the limit! You will then drive almost any speed to keep ahead! Your favorite TV shows are Jerry Springer and Oprah! You should kill yourself.

oi.... You don't have *any* friends at all, let alone female ones, do you? Where is all this rage and ridiculousness coming from? I'm tempted to scrap this response and suggest that you please just go for counseling as soon as possible. You write to a place that talks about every single person (that would be person, not just women, not just men. You can't be too bright to have utterly missed the point.) TAKING RESPONSIBILITY for their own lives and futures, and then you go off on a vitriolic spew that somehow manages to include Jerry Springer!

You get bent out of shape because a guy thinks you're cute and wants a date!

Baby boy, you are the only one bent out of shape. And we are flattered when a man wants a date, as long as he's not an asshole. That must be where you're falling down on getting a date. Do you go off on every woman you meet like this? You're lucky you haven't been arrested yet. BTW, don't feel it necessary to spew more vitriol our way. Your email header was obvious. We know where you work!

Which, by the way, the reason we have to ask more than once is we know how insecure most of you are.

More projection. Your entire tantrum demonstrates that you don't know squat, baby boy. I can just see you, little red face all screwed up and flapping your clenched fists. There's even a picture on your work website. You look like the kinda guy who has tantrums.

If we only ask once, we never get a date! Woman NEVER say yes the first time. Don't get pissed off if we have to second guess everything you say! It's because you never say what you mean! This is because most of you are trying to figure out what it is that you really want at any given moment, and that is always subject to change at the next!

Of course, none of your difficulties getting a date has anything to do with YOUR personality, presence, or input. It's all about how WE aren't responding "correctly" to you... doing what? Breathing in and out, eyeballing our breasts, what?

With all the charm and intellect you're showing right now, I can't begin to fathom why the girls aren't taking numbers and lining up. (sheesh)

As males, we know that if we ask you out at the right time of the month, the odds are you will say yes! It's just a timing issue and a numbers game! How are we supposed to know when you are ovulating? Oh, that's right you get bitchy

You can't even get your stereotypes right. Aren't we supposed to get bitchy just before our periods? Of course that would be assuming we are all alike and not actually people, which seems to be what you believe, anyway.

- well that doesn't work for this group now does it? Perhaps you should wear your calendar on your back and then we could narrow it down a little better! We are not the ones with ramped hormone fluctuations! We are NOT the ones that make the rules that you play by, we just happily adapt to them.

Where have you shown the slightest indication of either "happiness" or adaptability? You are a miserybag of the highest order.

Who has the problem here?

Well, my blood pressure hasn't risen in the least, while you've been shrieking yourself hoarse for quite some time now.

Get a fucking life. And yes, your website is too negative!

Warm Regards, Baby Bunting

Hypocritical lying, too. Yippee.

Poor little thing. My advice is that when you come back next time you read for comprehension.
bon