Despite our best efforts to dissuade you, many of you have still decided to write to us with your problems, complaints and crises of the moment. We don't have a trained therapist on staff, and this isn't "Dear F*ckin' Abbey", but we DO have Bonnie, who has graciously volunteered her time and heartless perspectives in order to minister to (or macerate) the misguided, with "Dear Fuckin' Bon..."

June 03, 2001

From:Fazal Khan
Subject:Some male's views and thougts.

Hi

I am not using my real identity becuase I don't feel I can trust you yet. And if you have my indentity it might make it easier for you to do your voodoo black magic against me.

He can't trust me yet, he's concerned I may see through the bitter whinging that follows and recognize that he is a major loser who blames everyone else AND the system for his failures.

It is a bit awkward for me as I don't get contact with many femanists. To perhaps use your words I am working in a 'male donminated' industry. I write this to just express my current feelings and probe your thoughts and reactions (at a distance).

Femanism? I am not quite sure what this but means, but I think it is about advancing women by hurting men.

*snork*! Equality. Look it up. If it "hurts" men when women are treated equally, what kind of men are they, anyway, buster? There sure is something seriously wrong with the world, and feminism ain't it.

I find it surprising that I am supposed to be part of this patriarchi thing that is the male system for oppressing women. This kind of goes against the grain of how I internally feel. I used to think that the purpose of men was to look-after the women with whome thay have a personal relationship. If the man was lucky the women would be the same and life could be fantastic.

(for... you, I presume? If she took her rightful place?)

I now realise that women are only interested in men for what they can gain materially. We are of-course fools (I at-least) because having a fake relationship is better than the hell of lonleyness, there is always the hope that things may improve tomorrow.

Ah, here we go. You've been dumped recently, and you're bitter and angry at women now. As for choosing to settle in a "fake" relationship (sounds more like deceitful to me, you're telling the temp woman that you love her, aren't you?), you get what you settle for, at least until she finds out you're lying and dumps you on your ass again. I'm sure you'll blame her when it happens. Dweeb. ("dweeb" may not be a clinical diagnosis, but it's a major dx in the Heartless Bitch manual. Wait till you see a Mighty Mouse... *snork*)

Yes, fools we are for getting so dazzled by womens beauty, You are very lucky that you don't get these strong sexual urges and desires that get us into so much trouble.

(Oh dear, he blames everyone else, the system, and now his *own* dick for his failures. He's just too classic. I wish I thought he wasn't a real person.)

Where was I?
Ahhhh, the myth of the asexual, frigid icewoman. You really got burned by a doozy, didn't you? (Psst!, there are sucky men out there too. We don't blame all men for that, don't blame all women for the loser you chose). And you *know* some of us are very sexual, but you probably think we're "bad" women, don't you?

I think the thing is that men need women more than they need us, or perhaps that is the result of my current negative and unhappy feelings. In personal relationships it isn't the big events that hurt the most but the subtle things such the put-downs and the change in voice tone at the end of words that cut most deeply into mens soul.

There are verbally abusive people of both genders. Again, don't paint all women with the brush of your experience(s). You're busting out in stereotypes all over the place. Of course, the strength and number of your stereotypical and misogynistic sentiments suggest that you've been a sexist swine for quite some time. But THAT wouldn't be why your ex left, would it? Nooooooooooooo.

Getting back to this male domination issue. Personally I don't want to take advantage of women (no?) but at the same time I don't want to be manipulated either. As all women are aware they exert tremendous sexual power over the men who are 'in-love' with them.

I had a little look at your website and found the usual man-hating stuff and decided to stop before getting further depressed. So I'll put a question to you.

I can hardly wait. By the way, I strongly recommend that you go back to the rant pages and look for the manipulator and emotional blackmailer rants (or check my past column).
If you think HBI has "the usual man-hating" stuff, you've missed the boat. I don't think you really missed it though, I think you're just a bitter whinebag who knows perfectly well that it's easier to get someone upset by blaming THEM for your whole life. In which case, boy did YOU ring up the wrong counselor this time.

You're website implies that you are a 'heartless bitch'. presumably the most anti-male women that there is.

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZT! Totally wrong presumption. Go back, read, take notes if necessary. You've not only missed the boat, you aren't even on the right dock. (I think you're on the wrong coast, in fact, you, Sir, may actually be in an alternative universe.)

So here's my question. What does a man have do to gain the warmth, respect and affection from a 'heartless bitch?'.

For you the steps would be...

1. Stop whining
2. Stop stereotyping
3. Get a life
4. Take responsibility for yourself and stop moaning about how everyone else gets the breaks.
5. Obtain an emergency personality transplant.

(Trust me yet? No? I guess we won't be email buddies then, and I will never learn your fabled "real name". *sigh*)

By the way I wouldn't use the word 'bitch' for women I think it is not good manners and is offensive.

But... we *like* it. Don't you want our warmth and affection? How can we become warm and affectionate if you keep telling us we're wrong about stuff... like who we are?

I sincerely wish that when my life is evaluated by our almighty creator that I am one of those souls who is granted mercy. I kind of like the idea of paradise has women that are so amazingly beutiful that well their smile is enought to make a red-blooded guy orgasm.

*They* won't like you either. Have you read what you're writing? You're not talking about women as people at all. You couldn't possibly objectify women any more than in the above sentence, a self-conceived "heaven" where the women are not only beautiful but apparently just poised in receptive positions holding their breath and waiting for YOU to show up and squirt at them. If you make it there all you'll see is elbows, heels and shapely asses as they run like hell in any other direction.

I won't anger you anymore by my very male thoughts and views. Except something which just occurred to me.

You haven't angered me at all. Amused me quite a bit, but not angered me. Thankfully some very male people think of women as actual persons. I think that's a concept that is way over your head.

I think that the reason why certain professions are say male dominated. Could it be perhaps that men are excellent at these things and that women have yet to demonstrate worthiness or credability. People talk about encouraging women into male dominated professions. I find that this statement is implicitly sexist against women as it implies that women need a helping hand that men don't have.

(This letter is one long bitter wankfest. Maybe you bored your ex out of the house.)

Equality? This is interesting, if everybody was treated equally then this means that the lazy people get the same rewards as the not lazy people and vice versa.

(sound of an entire train derailing)

I think that allowing fair competittion is the way forward. If Femanism is what I think it is then I don't agree with it. I believe that the individual needs to have the freedome to fulfill their maximum potential. Of-course femanists will want to advance women at mens expense, and well politicians will of-course go along with it to gain the womens vote.

I think that traditionally women relied on men to do the dirty work and take care of them. Now things have changed, where the state is now taking over the responsibility of looking after women and childeren. Also the nature of the labour market has changed sufficiently to make the employment opportunities more female friendly. I.e. Service industries, call-centres, offices etc.

Truly, you get more pathetic by the moment. I begin to think you're intentionally inserting "man" into the word "feminism". Incidentally, if you don't KNOW that feminism is, look it up in a dictionary (or online). I love how you're so sexist that now that you don't think men are taking care of women, the state must be. Sheesh, I can't imagine why strong intelligent interesting women aren't throwing themselves at your feet. Your charm is sure making me breathless, and not because I'm laughing, (*snuffle, whuffle, guffaw*), *really*!

Well I just like to say the male experience is not so great. There is a general theme in the mass media that men are bad women are good. Basically men are no longer needed or wanted unless it is to pay for social welfare programs. Yes men do pay much more taxes and women do consume more resources still. Perhaps this helps to explain why there is a rising suicide statistic amoung young men.

Oh, they didn't tell you? When those "femanists" have them jobs, they pay taxes too. But of course if they have jobs, it's at the expense of males in YOUR book. I guess they just can't win, can they? Oh, no, that's right, sorry, "just can't win" is all you, you, you.

It is unfair I feel to always accuse us of being evil.

You *are* aware that YOU are the only one saying that, right? Check the site, the only people talking about man-hating are the whiners who come here telling us what big meanies we are. They all trot out the "man hating" chant. It's catchy, but gets on your nerves after a short time, and then, boy howdie, it gets so boring it'll put you right to sleep.

I think the real problem is women themselves.

(no doubt, though I believe "think" is a generous estimation for what you do at any given moment)

They are just too lazy and expect men to look after them without doing the same. We are a bit stupid for putting up with this but I mean in the past this was our role. To look after women and the family.

Well, you just remember, as long as you can blame someone else for being lazy or incompetent, you don't ever have to look at yourself or make any effort at self-improvement. Don't forget now, it's EASIER to blame everyone else. As that seems to be your lodestar, I'm sure you'll, well, continue successfully in the same vein.

I aplogise for spelling mistakes and such like. I wrote this in a hurry and am not using MS-WORD.

I would expect nothing else from you...

Kind regards

Where?

bon