Random memorable quotes from an outrageous weekend with the Morrigan

April 29, 2008 | Filed Under The Heartless Bitch Way | No Comments

“So there you were, chatting them up, asking them about their boyfriends, and I was wondering… when is she going to realize they are GAY?”
“I was raised in a CONVENT!  How the hell was I supposed to know?”
“Girl, you GOTTA get out more.”

“Naked Lesbians? In the hottub? And I have to work? DAMN!!!”

“He’ll be in therapy when he’s 30, blaming me, I tell you. Therapy. Blaming ME.”

“They were really coming over?  I thought you were joking about the lesbians.”

Email This Post Email This Post Email this Post

When Boob Jobs Go Horribly Wrong…

April 25, 2008 | Filed Under The Heartless Bitch Way | 6 Comments

Short not-so-shameful confession: I like lingerie.  I own more than one bustier, and some killer stuff from Northbound Leather (I’ll let your imagination ride THAT one…), so when I receive the latest La Senza e-flyer announcing a sale, I opened it. (Plus, I have a $50 gift certificate from a Christmas present that I have yet to use.) 

In addition to some great lingerie,  La Senza has traditionally carried larger sized bras and ones that don’t have under-wire that I find quite comfortable.   

tubular boobsAs I flipped through the various styles, I noticed this girl on the left in several of the ads.  It’s sad really, because SHE probably thinks she looks good. I think she looks like a freak of nature.  You don’t get boobs like that naturally.  Look how *high* they sit up on her chest… It’s like someone planted pontoons in there!


 Look at this other model on the right by comparison:more normal looking breasts 

While I suspect most of these models have had surgery, and missy on the right is probably no exception, at least they look natural/real.


Think I’m being too harsh, then look at this other picture of our blond pontoon girl:

I'm sorry, but those just look so WRONG.

I honestly can’t believe ANYONE could find the boob-job on the left attractive.  Worse yet, I feel angry that we have a fashion industry and a culture that pushes women to mutilate themselves in this way.

And then companies like La Senza go and condone that kind of desperation and stupidity by placing women with clearly horrible boob-jobs in their ads. Even if they are utterly motivated by corporate greed, she’d STILL be a bad idea. I’ll bet there are a whole bunch of women who would see that photo and go “ICK! I don’t want a bra that’s going to make my boobs look like THAT.”  I mean, I see her as a detriment to displaying their goods in the best possible light.

*sigh*…. Maybe it’s the Victoria’s Secret influence.  Since the big American chain bought them out, I just don’t feel the same way about La Senza.

Email This Post Email This Post Email this Post

One of my most Heartless moments…

April 3, 2008 | Filed Under Lifestyles of the Heartlessly Bitchy, The Heartless Bitch Way | 8 Comments

Many years ago now… I was at a Pagan festival. 

As one does at these festivals, much alcohol consumption and late night dancing to drums happened. Some of it _may_ have involved less than the usual amount of clothing.

The next morning left all of us feeling a little worse for the wear.

My tent-mates still sound asleep, I sat next to the communal camp fire, too tired to attempt to even get a propane stove going to boil water, and figured I’d boil enough for a cup of instant coffee on a grate placed over the fire pit.  There were several people around the fire at this early hour (I think it was around noon), trying, as was I, to recover some semblance of humanity.  A guy innocently asked if he could borrow my spoon. I told him that I was “half-past homicidal” without my first cup of coffee and he should wait until I had at least ingested some form of caffeine before attempting to wrest the spoon from my hand. IF he valued his life, that is.  He gave me *that* look, and left in search of more easily accessible cutlery.

Finally the water boiled and I sat there savouring my coffee, taking in my surroundings.  I am an avid “people watcher” at the best of times, and this provided a most fascinating venue for that pursuit.  In particular, was captivated by the activities of one young girl at the camp fire.

She couldn’t have been more than 18 or so. She had a pack of wieners with her – you know, the kind that come 8 to a pack.  She was on her seventh wiener. Not that she had eaten the previous six – they had all fallen into the fire…But she was determined to try and cook and eat at least one of them.

I had watched her systematically put each wiener, starting with the first, onto a stick, sideways, and then watched as it cooked and then fell apart into the fire.  She wasn’t so desperate for food that she was willing to retrieve the fallen bits from the ashes, but she was visibly distressed by each loss. Never-the-less, she kept putting the wieners on the stick the same way each time, watching them eventually fall, and not actually figuring out that MAYBE… just MAYBE… she should try something different.  (What WAS that “definition of insanity”?)

I was RAPT.  Was she going to “get it”? Or were ALL her wieners going to be fed to the gods of the fire?  Only two left!  I said nothing and watched in anticipation, feeling like Jane Goodall, watching a primitive ape try to use a tool.  Yes, I am THAT Heartless. I said nothing.  I really did want to see what she did next. Would she lose the entire pack of wieners? Would she THINK to try something different on her own?  I needed to know.

And then, out of the blue, some MORON says, “You really should put it on the stick LENGTHWAYS. It won’t fall off that way.” and he showed her how to stick it on through the END of the wiener, and not the middle. I couldn’t help myself, I cried out, “You RUINED THE EXPERIMENT!”

The folks sitting around the fire looked at me quizzically, having no comprehension in their half-drunk, hung-over states, WHAT I was muttering on about, least of all the object of my research.  She remained, as I expected, utterly oblivious.

I’m now pretty firmly convinced that in the grand scheme of things, in a primitive world, or if society were to collapse around us due to some global catastrophe, such a person would be considered “prey”, and not “predator”.  In a more primitive world, she would have been eaten before she had a chance to reproduce – like the slowest gazelles in the pack.  Unfortunately, in today’s society, she’s probably going to be popping out 5 or more kids because she’s too STUPID to figure out birth control, and “helpful” people are ensuring her survivability by making sure she knows how to thread a wiener on a stick (metaphorically speaking).  It’s all very distressing.

On the other hand, in the event of a global catastrophe, I have no doubt which end of the spectrum *I’d* come out on.  (The bf has been talking about getting me that compound crossbow I’ve been lusting after).

This girl ain’t NOBODY’S prey.  Heh.

Email This Post Email This Post Email this Post


Your Ad Here


Allposters.com

Buy fun Heartless BitchStuff and help keep HBI running!

We now Accept

Acceptance Mark