E-Mail 'Settle for THIS (my middle finger)' To A Friend

Natalie P.

Email a copy of 'Settle for THIS (my middle finger)' to a friend

* Required Field






Separate multiple entries with a comma. Maximum 5 entries.



Separate multiple entries with a comma. Maximum 5 entries.

Loading ... Loading ...

Leave a Comment

If you would like to make a comment, please fill out the form below.

Name

Email

Website

Comments

 

13 comments so far
  1. Kublai February 22, 2008 1:48 am

    I am a guy, and I find the article offensive to me as a man AS IS! As Jeff noted, she couldn’t care less about the man as a person, just as “infrastructure”.

    My wife is 30. She doesn’t want children. Shocking!

  2. Kimberly February 22, 2008 7:49 am

    Yeah, I have a few chosen words for Gottlieb’s toxic advice (blows, sucks, emotionally-retarded) and it once again proves how many women just don’t get it. To sum it up, I would like to offer my words of wisdom I have posted on my personal on-line profile:

    “And to be honest, I don’t know of too many happily married people, with or without children. So you continue on with your miserable relationships and I’ll continue my life on MY TERMS. Please keep your ‘children need two parents under the same roof’ comments to yourselves.”

    I find being a single-parent rewarding, empowering and LIBERATING! While it does present challenges, like any other life-style, it is nice to know that at the end of the day that I can lay me head down knowing that my life is truly on my terms. It is freeing to know that I can do this without desperate attempts to acquire another “partner.”

    Oh and being “lonely” has NOTHING to do with relationship status, IMHO. Hell, being a single-parent, I don’t have time to get lonely! I felt more “alone” in my shitty marriage than I have since my divorce. Being single leaves the door open to more “options” during those so-called “lonely times.”

    Well, she will just have to figure it out on her own. The TODAY SHOW needs you and the HBI community!! I don’t think Gottleib should assume anything about other 40-year-old single women! She is out of line.

  3. Natalie P. February 23, 2008 3:07 am

    I agree about the whole “lonely” thing, which really translates to “wallowing in self-pity” in my opinion. People who are self-absorbed whine about how lonely they are. People who are on their own but out doing things, experiencing life, and looking OUTWARD don’t a) have time to be lonely, and b) aren’t lonely because they surround themselves with, and attract like-minded people.

    Hmm… this could end up being a whole ‘nother blog post.

  4. Kimberly February 24, 2008 9:26 am

    Yep!

  5. Moxie February 24, 2008 10:49 am

    One thing I found telling was that she saw in a book on single motherhood a happy ending involving finding a man after the baby was born, and she seems to imply that she somehow bought into that.

    Face it, anybody who compares life to sitcoms and self-help books doesn’t have a stranglehold on reality in the first place.

    She has a good point that the deal-breakers change, but that’s not settling. That’s growing up.

  6. Sarashay February 24, 2008 1:23 pm

    Okay, this is the one things I really, really don’t get. She had a child via sperm donation because, gosh, she wanted a baby and didn’t want to wait for a stable relationship or anything. And now she’s finding out that it’s much harder work than she’s anticipating and utterly resentful that she can’t find a MAY-UN to fill in that gap she feels she has and this whole thing is suddenly everybody else’s fault for raising her standards to unrealistic levels? Um, whut?

    I’m still unmarried and looking, but I have no interest in ‘settling’ just to have a husband. I have a home of my own, a stable job and a number of exciting projects to fill my time. Perhaps my standards are so high because someone is going to have to be pretty amazing to persuade me to make such a huge change to the life I already enjoy.

  7. Jaundice February 25, 2008 7:50 am

    Holy crap!

    Allowing some absolute loser (someone who will marry you even though you don’t love them) into your life because you’ve become desperately lonely or overwhelmed is the surest way to make a tough situation intolerable.

    Don’t people recognize the pitfalls out there? Morons and psychopaths baby, morons and psychopaths.

    Find quality or keep looking…

  8. Jurhael February 26, 2008 11:07 am

    “The downside of hooking up with Mr. Wrong is so much much worse than ANYTHING single parenthood could throw at you.”

    Yes. Absolutely. I’m willing to bet that abusers just LOVE those who settle.

    Can you imagine being told, “I settled for you!” You can bet that an abusive person would love to throw it in their targets face any chance they get.

    Besides, the single life is great! You can do as you please!

  9. Danielle February 26, 2008 10:59 pm

    My mother happened to hook up with a boring selfish guy when I was a kid, and he never babysat me once, but I babysat his neglected kids every damn night.

    If a guy is willing to marry you without love involved he will NEVER love your kids. It won’t happen. And I can think of nothing more cruel to do to your kids than let a strange male who doesn’t love them into their home.

    Remember what male lions do to other lions young? It works very similarly for a lot of men.

  10. H.Isberg March 1, 2008 5:44 am

    WHAT????!!!! And can somebody show me the person who´d BENEFIT from this marriage? What a LOAD of CRAP!!

  11. Jurhael March 2, 2008 12:50 pm

    “Remember what male lions do to other lions young? It works very similarly for a lot of men.”

    Except that lions don’t have the ability to rationalize as everything they do is pure instinct. Plus, they’re not as depraved as humans can be as they’ve been known to kill THEIR OWN children, and I don’t want to begin to imagine how many parents have ruined their own kids’ lives for whatever reason.

    That being said, step families are hard as it is, “settling” shouldn’t even be an option in cases like that.

  12. Khan March 10, 2008 1:37 pm

    Hah! Damn skippy. That article was just sort of… sad. I felt bad for her kid. Sheesh, what a great example to set… >.>;

  13. Val March 16, 2008 4:00 pm

    Jessica’s last line in her fiministing.com response was: “That kind of scare tactic nonsense may have worked in the 80s, but we’re having none of it.” Oh, indeed? When I turned 30 in the mid 80s, it didn’t work on me.

    I’m “having none of it” now, and I had none of it then.